Husar’s Laws, part 8…

  • The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
  • A common mistake that people make when trying to design something           completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.
  • She was only a moonshiner’s daughter …but he loved her still.
  • Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
  • He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
  • I had amnesia once —- or twice
  • The gray hair makes you look distinguished and the hemorrhoids make you look concerned.
  • It takes two things to make a consultant: grey hair and hemorrhoids.
  • You can say ‘stop’ or ‘alto’ or any other word, but a large bore muzzle pointed at someone’s head is pretty much a universal language.
  •  If you carry a gun, people call you paranoid. Nonsense! If you have a gun, what do you have to be paranoid about?
  • The most important rule in a gunfight is: Always win – cheat if necessary.
  • Never say “I’ve got a gun.” If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.
  • Its always better to be judged by 12 than carried by 6.
  • Guns have only two enemies:  rust and politicians.
  • The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians – the quick and the dead.
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  • It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a
    warning to others.
  • If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was
    probably worth it.
  • If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague
  • Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.
  • Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the
    middle of it.
  • Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
  • Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue
  • If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road.
  • The difference between the Pope and your boss is that the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
  • The Senility prayer: Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
  • We have enough “youth”; how about a fountain of “smart”?
  • Reality is only an illusion that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  • We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things got worse.

Comments

Husar’s Laws, part 8… — 14 Comments

  1. In reference to the grey hair and hemorrhoids rules, I have reached and passed the age of concern about my hair color, I just am thankful I have hair, and any day the hemorrhoids are in remission is a good day.

    Another part about accepting the aging process is when you tell someone who has greeted you, that you have no idea who they are and to just remind you. That saves time and embarrassment.

    And in reference to yesterday’s post, steak and lobster on Forrestal was a once a month thing during deployment. Once a month the FID would have a birthday party on the forward mess decks for crewmembers, (and airdales) whose birthdays were during the month. And if you had a buddy assigned to the MA force, you could have a lot of birthdays during the cruise.

    John in Philly

  2. Never say “I’ve got a gun.” If you need to use deadly force, the first sound they hear should be the safety clicking off.

    Unless you’re shooting a Glock or a revolver, then it’s just a loud noise, followed by harp music or The Grateful Dead — depending on the destination.

  3. I have learned the value of being decently vague. Or using really big words.

    Because careless pedstrians plunge off the curb with little regard for their own safety, I call them lemmings.

  4. “If you need a shoulder to cry on, pull off to the side of the road.
    Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue.” The first one, I laughed. The second one I cried. I have poop on my shoulder most days. LMAO

  5. My work sometimes requires devising foolproof methods to accomplish certain tasks. Nailing jello to the wall is much easier.

  6. At 20 mumble mumble something, my little sister took great delight in plucking gray hairs from my temple. I blamed her, the Army, the Boy Scouts, the NRA, MDA, ISIS, my boss, my employees, etc.

    It ain’t good training unless you’re cold, wet, hungry, pissed off, and doing something stupid.

  7. Hey Old NFO;

    Those are very good, the pedestrians comment here is accurate in Atlanta…Same with the politicians. I have used the quote ” some day’s you are the fly…others you are the windshield”

  8. John- I’d heard that, always thought it was a sea story… LOL

    LL- Yep! Unless it’s a 1911… 🙂

    JMI- Good point!

    WSF- Oh yeah…

    Rev- Good luck with that!!!

    Fargo- I’m there with ya… And the cleaners hate me…

    Jess- Good luck with that!!!

    SPE- LOL, true!

    Bob- We used bug vs. windshield… 🙂

  9. Yep to the cheating in a gun fight and the one after that. If it gets down to a gun being necessary then all bets are off and you best not be kidding.