Moar puns…

Have ‘pun’ with these:

 

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking

Dijon vu – the same mustard as before

Practice safe eating – always use condiments

Shotgun wedding – A case of wife or death

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy

A hangover is the wrath of grapes

Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion

Reading while sunbathing makes you well red

When two egotists meet, it’s an I for an I

A bicycle can’t stand on its own because it is two tired

What’s the definition of a will? It’s a dead give away

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana

In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes

She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion

If you don’t pay your exorcist, you get repossessed

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress

The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it

Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under

Every calendar’s days are numbered

A lot of money is tainted -Taint yours and taint mine

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat

He had a photographic memory that was never developed

A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis

Santa’s helpers are subordinate clauses

Acupuncture is a jab well done

Comments

Moar puns… — 7 Comments

  1. From a list I read this weekend.

    What do you call a magic dog?
    A Labracadabrador.

    I buy all my guns from a guy called T-Rex.
    He’s a small arms dealer.

  2. Oh boy! You are the punniest in all The Land! Enjoyed them!

  3. I have always agreed with Alfred Hitchcock, who said “Puns are the highest form of literature.”

  4. People who live in glass houses should not stow thrones.