Don’t try this at home…

Have you ever done something that you just ‘knew’ wasn’t a good idea???

Well, this was one of those aw &*$% deals… No notice sightseeing in Italy!

My running mate decided at the last minute we needed to go see the Leaning Tower of Pisa, since we were driving back into Pisa to fly out to the states. It was about 1630, so we had maybe 30 minutes of light left. We had just found the hotel, so he runs in to get directions- My map of Northern Italy didn’t have anything but major and semi-major roads, so no joy there…

Out he comes, “Well, they said go left out of the hotel, go straight on Via Aurleia and we’ll see it in about 5 minutes on the left.”

Sigh…

Note to self- When it seems too easy, it usually is… especially in a foreign country…

Misgivings aside, off we go! 5 minutes nothing, 10 minutes nothing, 15 minutes a dome and what looks like the top of a tower! Meanwhile, I’ve made two left turns off main roads to try to keep going ‘straight’. Another couple of minutes, sure enough, there it is off to our left; now how to get there?

Now mind you, this is in rush hour traffic in Pisa, where they turn two lane streets into four or five lanes (if they use the sidewalk), I finally manage to turn left and left again, and we are heading back toward the plaza, but the street is getting narrower and narrower; not good…

Finally about a block from the plaza, I see a space on the sidewalk, so we park there are run down to the plaza; yep, this is it! Leaning Tower, Church, and a few other buildings. Take the obligitory pictures, walk around for a few minutes and explore the schlock shops that surround the place (you can get just about anything that is tied to the location in these places, just bring cash money)!

Now comes the fun part- Getting out of here back to the hotel- The map is absolutely NO help. Since the car is half way blocked in, it takes about 10 back and fills to get off the sidewalk, and back into the so called street…

A half block down we turn right into an even narrower street, pull in the mirrors, and hope to hell I don’t put any scratches on the car as I inch through the slolom of randomly parked cars. About a block and a half of that, and at least a two lane (more or less) street, but one way in the wrong direction. Oh well, at least I can move on this street. At this point, I know I need to go right, but for four or five blocks, all the streets and alleys seem to be one way coming onto the street we are on.

We finally find a bigger street, turn right and actually have two way traffic! We’re moving up in the world!!! Oops, now we’re crossing a bridge- I don’t remember a bridge; do you remember a bridge? Noooo….

Okayyyyy Now it is dark, so I can’t even use the sun to navigate by… I figure I have to get back across that bridge or another one to get back to Via Aureila so we start trying to get turned around, and manage to do so literally!!!

Finally stop at a bar and ask directions; no English, mutiple hand waves, a conference and a hand drawn map on a napkin yields a best guess for Via Aurelia. An expresso later (just to calm the nerves), and off we go again…

This is NOT looking any better, oh wait, a sign for A12 (the major highway), u-turn in the middle of the street, take the side streets and finally pop back out at the A12. Yeah!!! Now, where the hell are we???

Follow the signs for Pisa, and we find out we have gone from 10 klicks North of Pisa completly around to about 20 klicks SOUTH of Pisa.

For reference, the A12 is a toll road, two lanes, 110klick speed limit; we are doing about 130k, in the slow lane, passing the multiple trucks and little Fiats and trying not to get run over by the BMWs, Audis, and big Mercedes that are running 220k plus!

At one point, I am trying to pass a bus, which starts passing a truck, which is passing a little Fiat, when an Audi comes blowing up behind me and tries to pass me between the guard rail (maybe 4 feet wide) while flashing his brights and honking his horn…

At this point my running mate is whimpering in terror, vowing never to get back in the car with me, and saying he just wants to live to get home…

Finally we get past everybody and get off the A12 and back to the hotel- It only took 2 1/2 hours to make the trip…

Don’t try this at home, and sure as hell don’t try it overseas; unless you have LOTS of time to kill 🙂

Comments

Don’t try this at home… — 6 Comments

  1. Heh,

    I have family that lives in a few other countries. Without ecpetion, they have all told me that they HATED learning to drive in the US because 1) everyone drives so slow (to them). 2) Driving laws are exactly that, LAWS, not ‘suggestions’, like what they are used to. 2) cops are EVERYWHERE, and will bust your ass for say, driving on the sidewalk, going the wrong way on a one way road, letting someone ride in an open trunk, doubling speed limits, etc.

  2. Hehehe- you’ve got that right Murph! Of course when WE go over there, it is paranoia central time, because we do obey the laws (and are the ONLY ones that do)!

  3. I lived in Naples for almost four years and bought a 1960 VW in Germany just so I could blend in with all the Fiat 500’s etc. I became pretty adept at the sidewalk driving to! Only trouble was, We had great big long, about 20″ red and white license plates that identified us as US Military, and those same Italian drivers up there on the sidewalk with us,would scream and holler at us as though we were murdering the Madonna! It was okay for them to be there but not us! SO I went to England and bought a Triumph Bonneville motorcycle, 650cc, came back and got up on the walks with all the mopeds, motoguzzi’s etc. and just outran the cops out on the highway cause the biggest engine they had was a 350cc Gelira mc!! AH the good old days!

  4. Yeah Ev, the AFI plates as they are called are pretty much a giveaway 🙂 Now the folks are told NOT to get them, only get local plates. I was in Naples last week also, another garbage strike, stunk like hell, all traffic signals/signs still advisory in nature! NSA is no longer down the hill, they have built a new compound at Capo Airport!!! Humpty-Dumpty is gone, but her grand-daughters are still around 🙂

  5. Glad you survived the drive. Your running mate probably needed a stiff drink afterward. ;P