You know you are a cop if:..

This one goes out to Lawdog, Wyatt, Matt, JPG, CT Cop, Pawpaw, CPDCoppur, and all those on the thin Blue line…

Some of us DO appreciate what you do…

1) You have the bladder capacity of five people.

2) You have ever restrained someone & it was not a sexual experience.

3) You believe that 50% of people are a waste of good air.

4) Your idea of a good time is a “man with a gun” call.

5) You conduct a criminal record check on anyone who seems friendly towards you.

6) You believe in the aerial spraying of Prozac & birth control pills.

7) You disbelieve 90% of what you hear & 75% of what you see.

8) You have your weekends off planned for a year.

9) You believe the government should require a permit to reproduce.

10) You refer to your favorite restaurant by the intersection at which it’s located.

11) You have ever wanted to hold a seminar entitled: “Suicide…getting it right the first time.”

12) You ever had to put the phone on hold before you begin laughing uncontrollably.

13) You think caffeine should be available in IV form..

14) You believe anyone who says, “I only had two beers” is going to blow more than a .15

15) You find out a lot about paranoia just by following people around.

16) Anyone has ever said to you, “There are people killing other people out there and you are here messing with me.”

17) People flag you down on the street & ask you directions to strange places…and you know where they’re located.

18) You can discuss where you are going to eat with your partner while standing over a dead body.

19) You are the only person introduced at social gatherings by profession. (ISN’T THIS THE TRUTH)

20) You walk into places & people think it’s high comedy to grab their buddy & shout, “They’ve come to get you, Bill.”

21) You do not see daylight from November until May.

22) People shout, “I didn’t do it!” when you walk into a room & think they’re being hugely funny & original.

23) A week’s worth of laundry consists of 5 T-shirts, 5 pairs of socks, & 5 pairs of underwear.

24) You’ve ever referred to Tuesday as “my weekend”, or “this is my Friday”.

25) You’ve ever written off guns & ammunition as a business deduction..

26) You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you if anyone says, “Boy, it sure is quiet tonight.”

27) Discussing dismemberment over a meal seems perfectly normal to you.

28) You find humor in other people’s stupidity.

29) You have left more meals on the restaurant table than you’ve eaten.

30) You feel good when you hear, “these handcuffs are too tight”.

Comments

You know you are a cop if:.. — 19 Comments

  1. The husband and I can relate to most of those. Reckon that means I should abandon nursing school & go to the police academy? 😀

  2. Well, this is one I’ve got to snag and send to my brother who has been a policeman for a LONG time, and then to my niece who is just starting on her career. She’s been in it for around 5 years.

    Thanks!

  3. I have to control myself, I’m at work.
    Otherwise, I’d be ROFLOL!! (x2)

    I’m not a police, but was active duty for 20 years. I relate to lots of this. Thanks. A real keeper.

    B Woodman
    SSG (Ret) US Army
    III-per

  4. Before I started working from home, I never saw daylight from the time we went off Savings time until it returned in the Spring.

    Weekends were always cloudy with rain or snow.

    Beyond that, being a cop is not one I’d prefer. I’ve been on some ride-alongs, enough to know it’s now a job for me.

    …a salute to those wearing a badge.

  5. Snigs- I’m not surprised… No stay in nursing, you’re too mean to be a cop 🙂

    RWL- Same here… sigh…

    Linda- Please do!

    Julie- see above 🙂

    CS- That’s good!

    BW- I thing ANY of us that did a career can… 🙂

    Jeff- I didn’t say “I” wanted to get shot 🙂

    Did it- agreed!

    Curcis/Fuzzy- agreed!

  6. I’m going to quote you on that until the end of time, NFO. Thank you for recognizing what I’ve been telling people all along!!

  7. Snigs- you’re welcome 🙂

    Tex- Yeah, they are (or at least I have that on GOOD authority)!

    WSF- Agreed!

  8. Strange that so many are actually true.

    I was over at Snig’s a few minutes ago.
    Had to laugh when she mentioned your comment about being “too mean to be a cop”.
    Perhaps we could come up with a new line of employment more suited to her de-meaner.

    Skul