Paraprosdokian Sentences…


Paraprosdokian- A figure of speech that uses an unexpected ending to a series or phrase.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way.
So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

Do not argue with an idiot.
He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Going to your house of worship doesn’t make you a religious person any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you.
But it’s still on my list.

Light travels faster than sound.
This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

We never really grow up.
We only learn how to act in public.

War does not determine who is right – only who is left.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening’, and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism.
To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops.
On my desk I have a work station.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career.
Turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.

Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I list “9-1-1”

I didn’t say it was your fault.
I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

Comments

Paraprosdokian Sentences… — 17 Comments

  1. Scott- I have friends with WAY too much time on their hands… :-0

    Supi- I’m Glad

    Crucis- Chuckle is good, laughing is not… 🙂

  2. “Going to your house of worship doesn’t make you a religious person any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.”

    AMEN!

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  4. These are TERRIFIC!!

    “The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it’s still on my list.”

    Ha! love it!