1. To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

2. When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

3. A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

4. When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

5. The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

6. The batteries were given out free of charge.

7. A dentist and a manicurist got married. They fought tooth and nail.

8. A will is a dead give-away.

9. If you don’t pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I will show you A-Flat miner.

11. You are stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

12. A boiled egg is hard to beat.

13. When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.

14. Police were called to the day center when a three year old was resisting a rest.

15. Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He’s all right now.

16. If you take your laptop for a run, you could jog your memory.

17. A bicycle can’t stand alone. It’s two tired.

18. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

19. The guy who fell on the upholstery machine was fully recovered.

20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

21. When she saw her first strands of gray, she thought she would dye.