This came from somebody that obviously DIDN’T grow up in the South, and sounds kinda like they weren’t real impressed with our flora and fauna…
(Y’all read this, heah?)
A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no-one’s seen before.
If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.
Onced and Twiced are words.
It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
Jawl-P? means, Did y’all go to the bathroom?
People actually grow,eat and like okra (pronounced “okry”).
Fixinto is one word. It means: I’m going to do that.
There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there’s supper.
Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
Backwards and forwards means: I know everything about you.
The word jeet is actually a question meaning, ‘Did you eat?’
You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
Ya’ll is singular. All ya’ll is plural.
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal.
You carry jumper cables in your car – for your OWN car.
You own only five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco and ketchup.
The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, the motor sports, and gossip.
You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know what a hissy fit is..
Fried catfish is the other white meat.
We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed. If mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
And you wonder why ‘Hooked on Phonics’ doesn’t work so well in the South… 🙂
Yup, thats xactly what tis, too.
Whatcha on bout?
I love the south!! I only live about 11 miles north of the Mason,Dixon line.
I remember my first trip to Georgia, and having breakfast. “You want grits with that, sonny?” Yes maam,. Then her and everyone else laughing as I poured milk and sugar on it, thinking it was oatmeal!!!
Maine has vast tracks of Breakfast, Dinner, and Supper.
I will note that “Lunch” is something you bring with you out to the fields, the deer or duck blind, fishing boat, or paper mill. And “Lunch” is transported in a “Lunch Pail”.
Tho I’m an Urban Mainer (if you want to call Portland a “City”) so generally at noon I’d eat “Lunch” except on Saturday and Sunday when Mom or Dad cooked something special then it was “Dinner”.
“If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.” One of the outside cats recently caught a large dragonfly; in my attempt to free the dragonfly, it’s gratitude was underwhelming – didn’t know dragonflies BITE – this one drew blood – I cleaned it out, then asked the FodGuy if I needed to worry – he looked it up on the ‘Net, & no, as long as it was cleaned, should be OK – but next time Fizzle or any other cat catches one, it’s on it’s own …………………. 😉
Semper Fi’
DM
heh.
in Maryland, we go downy owshun, hon for summer vacations, and we make sure to snack on orioles and drink our Natty Boh. warsh yer hands in the zink afore ye eet. Oh, and when you’re on Norff Avenue, get out of the way of the ambalance.
Lol. When we moved to Utah they thought I was batty. I still get crud for saying y’all and my poor husband is hooked on sweet tea.
I hate okra.
But I do carry jumper cables in my car just in case my battery dies. I’m not really sure what is so odd about that.
Whoever left out the part about Kudzu, the Japanese revenge for the A-Bomb.
I married a Southerner. It’s been real.
I for one, think, “you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see,” is a good motto for life.
When I was growing up, if your tractor had lights is was work until you ran out of gas. Many was the morning when I saw neighbors standing on their tractors filling the tank. Mostly in the middle of a field with a plow, disc, planter or harrow in back.
OK, that’s jes’ funny!
Heh! I tell my students that I am a Native of North Carolina and can legally say y’all during class. I have a card in my wallet to prove it!
Carteach0- Good one 🙂
Danny- Oh man… gave yourself away with that one…
Weerd- I’d never heard of lunch till I went in the military… Just sayin…
DM- Didn’t know that, but I won’t be playing with Dragon Flies in the future…
Laura- Huh? Can you say that in English??? 🙂
Lila- THAT is funny!!! 🙂
Andy- YOU are prepared, lots of Southern cars, they are REQUIRED for every start…
LL- Gah, forgot ALL about that crap… sigh…
Suz- 🙂
Crucis- Yep, that is true…
Murph- And true too!
Keads- Yep! 🙂
You know, I had one of them hissy fits earlier. Damned ol’ polecat. I tell y’all, it jus’bout ruined my lil’ ol’ day.
(And what’s wrong with carrying your jumper cables around? I’ve needed a boost several times and if I hadn’t of had my cables, I would have been screwed.)
About carryin’ them jumper cables… you never know when you’re gonna run up on some good lookin’ blond that needs a jump.
Boost.
BOOST!!
You forgot “yimpty” — “y’all need another beer?”
and a “Coke” is any sweet carbonated beverage. Sounds like my AO before all the yankees moved down here.
Snigs- Yeah, I saw that 🙂 Hell I have jumper cables too!
Rick- Yeah, yeah… “boost” 🙂
SR- Yes Sir, that one works too!
CTone- True dat! on BOTH counts!
Stingray caught the real miss, but I’ll correct a coupla others…
”If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha” leaves out If it flies it’ll sting ya…
”Backwards and forwards” should actually read Bakards an furards
… and I love okry enny way y’all carta fixit, but specialy bawled with sum maters!
MB- Thanks for those too 🙂
It can’t work in reality, that is exactly what I suppose.