Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting and Fishing 7.5, and Golf 3.6 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected.
I can’t seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I’m thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn’t work on Wife 1.0. Please help!
Thanks,
A Troubled User.
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:
This is a very common problem that men complain about. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the situation. I suggest installing the background application “Yes Dear” to alleviate software augmentation. The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system will return to normal anyway.
Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep 3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the program Nag, Nag 9.5. Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0!
WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system.
Best of luck,
Tech Support
What can I say… 🙂 A little humor to brighten up what has been a pretty lousy week for a lot of folks…
That is one thing we all need. A little humor.
Always go with the humor.. the rest of the crap will eat you alive :)!!
This is too funny (and some would say, too true)! 🙂 Thanks for the morning giggle!
There was so much grief with Wife 1.0 that I upgraded to Wife 2.0. That operating system didn’t function as advertised either. Sometimes the older systems are more functional, so in 1980 I reformatted and reverted to that old standby, One Night Stand 2.0.
If it ain’t broke… don’t fix it.
Good timing NFO! Thanks for the laugh this AM.
The earliest example of highly persistent malware …
There is some software that, using Virus Check 5.6 in order to remove the man-hating version of Feminist Wave 4.0 has created Partner 3.1 wherein Nag and other emasculating Malware has been either removed or converted to C:\Request\Remind Me or partnersupport.exe. Football 5.0, NASCAR 3.4, and Range Night 10.1 are all fully functional under Partner 3.1.
Just call us Fembot 6.0.
There is an old axiom:
“If it flys, floats or f–ks, lease DON’T BUY
I’m not saying that I have always abided by that advice, but it would have saved me a LOT of grief.
What kills me is that I know people who have continued to upgrade to Wife 2.0 and 3.0.
And you always have to be careful that the Trojan, Lawyer 1.0a, doesn’t infect your system. Sometimes this can be countered by Attorney 2.0 but it’ll be expensive.
Better to just install a good anti-virus program.
ADM- Yep
Pissed- It’s either humor or banging my head against the wall, and the boss gets pissed when I do that…
MC- You’re welcome, and I’m not ABOUT to comment 🙂
MB- That works 🙂 Cheaper too!
Keads- You’re welcome!
BP- GOOOOOD point!
MC- LOL, we should ALL be that lucky 🙂
LL- Same here!
Andy- TRUE!!! Some of us NEVER learn (or continue to think with the wrong head)
Crucis- or have a GOOD lawyer handy (my plan)
Agree with LL.
My Nag, Nag 9.5 is defective. I’m pretty sure that’s why I’m still wife 2.0 twenty-odd years later. Or we could just both be obsolete.
WSF- Yep 🙂
Suz- Not necessarily a bad thing! 🙂
Yeah, that’s just awesome.
🙂
45- Thanks
Julie- :-p