And I screamed like a little girl…


So there we were, hanging out on the ‘balcony’ (read hiding on the top floor stair landing), getting an early smoke and cup of coffee, prior to SSS and heading in to work.


We’re chatting about the ‘stuff’ due today, and trying to get woke up to the point that we were functional.  I’d brought a spare cigarette, and had set it on the outer ledge of the landing.  I was occasionally having to reach out and grab it to keep the breeze from blowing it over the edge.


As we were talking one of the other folks pointed, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw the cigarette start moving…


I reach out yet again to grab it, and I’m holding on to it…  And it MOVED!


I glance over, and realize ‘something’ has a hold of the other end.  It’s a @#^& BAT with about a three foot wingspan!!!


Meanwhile, the old hind brain is gibbering, leggo, Leggo, LEGGO!!!


And the other half of the hind brain is going, Oh you dumbshit… You just got bit by a bat, and now you’re gonna have to get shots and be stuck on the Island, and… and… and…

And the forebrain FINALLY wakes up, and goes Huh…er…whattheohshiiIITTTT! And I screamed like a little girl and let the damn bat have the cigarette, and apparently took ONE large step across the entire landing and ended up standing against the door!!!



It may have been screaming at a higher frequency, but I sure as hell was LOUDER!


At least I didn’t spill a drop of coffee, but I will GUARANTEE you I was wide awake at that point!


And of course the others had to start giving me crap… sigh


“Are you gonna offer it a light?”  Aren’t you gonna tell it smoking is bad for it?”  etc…


Thankfully I didn’t get bit, but I’m sure as hell NOT doing that again…


Sumbitch can go buy its OWN cigarettes…


This ‘kinda’ gives you an idea of how big they are…

Comments

And I screamed like a little girl… — 51 Comments

  1. Coffin nail for Vlad?

    Bat just wanted to bum one for goodness sake.

    I can only imagine the pitch of the squeeee. No video of the incident to post?

    I think that’s enough, lol.

  2. Mwhahahaha! Score one for the bat

    And I love that your brain reacts quick enough to get you OUT of a bad situation (I’d have probably screamed like a girl AND still had hold of whatever the bat wanted)

    Pax

  3. Okay, so a bat that big with a nicotine habit. That’s double scary. Can’t imagine you screaming like a little girl though but interesting that you developed the power to teleport to get away from the furry critter.

    If it had been me, one of the SSS’s would have been taken care of right then.

  4. Didn’t spill a drop of your coffee? Impressive! Sounds like you’ve had a little too much experience at those sudden adrenaline dumps if you managed that feat!

    Yeah, if you weren’t expecting three feet of bat wingspan to close on your airspace, that flight of the intruder had to be a heck of a shock!

    Do the fruit bats carry rabies, too?

  5. 45er- Nah, none of us had a camera OR the presence of mind…

    Pax- Trust me, I MOVED! 🙂

    Mr.B- Close… 🙂

    MC- I did… trust me, and it was ‘close’ on the first S!!!

    Keads- It GOT my attention!

    Suz- I ‘think’ it was about a tie…

    Keads- No gun… and housing behind it- No shoot!

    Laura- I don’t “think” you’d have tried this one… Just sayin… Two of em get together, and they’d haul YOU off!

    Wing- Yeah, familiar with adrenal dumps, and it was a shock, no question! Re the rabies, I ain’t lookin… 🙂

  6. Now that’s funny!!!
    Seriously, sounds like some of my co-workers. Was everyone else so jaded that a crush at the door didn’t happen? Those things look seriously big enough to argue about giving up a cigarette.
    YeOldFurt

  7. don’t underestimate the suggestive powers of my inner Irwin. i’ll take on anything i can catch that isn’t venomous.

  8. We lived on an island in the Pacific for a while when I was a kid.
    Fruit bats used to come up out of the jungle in front of the house at dusk.

    Dad would stand in the front yard and shoot them with his Winchester Model 12.

    The locals who worked for him would build a big fire and roast the ones he killed.

    Some of those bats seemed to know
    just when to sideslip to avoid the shot from dad’s old paper-hulled
    12 gauge shells.

  9. Please spare me… you could not ignore smokeandthunder.com if you tried. As an ex military guy, at least you could appreciate my M110A2 gun review. Everything else I won’t retype here is on the site. Love it or leave it.

  10. Please spare me… you could not ignore smokeandthunder.com if you tried. As an ex military guy, at least you could appreciate my M110A2 gun review. Everything else I won’t retype here is on the site. Love it or leave it.

  11. Please spare me… you could not ignore smokeandthunder.com if you tried. As an ex military guy, at least you could appreciate my M110A2 gun review. Everything else I won’t retype here is on the site. Love it or leave it.

  12. Please spare me… you could not ignore smokeandthunder.com if you tried. As an ex military guy, at least you could appreciate my M110A2 gun review. Everything else I won’t retype here is on the site. Love it or leave it.

  13. I remember now.

    On evening strolls, we would move out into the street to keep from walking under the banyan trees stretching over the sidewalk.

    Who’s the smoke and thunder jerk-off? Must be a Navy guy…

  14. Didn’t spill a drop, huh?

    Are you trying to tell me that a mere LDO could berth in the Goat Locker?

  15. If you start wearing a tuxedo wherever you go, only come out at night, cast no shadow and can’t be seen in a mirror and start saying “Good Evening” like Vincent Price did, I will presume that the bat DID bite you and you’re only trying to cover it up on the blog.

    Admit nothing
    Deny everything
    Demand proof
    Make counter allegations
    Find a scapegoat.

  16. Sorry you’re getting trash in here – LawDog just lists it as spam ……………… 😉

    I haven’t laughed that hard in a while ……………. maybe you & LawDog should collaborate on a book, that way, neither of you would carry the whole freight? {I can just see “you killed Pinky!” followed immediately by “And I screamed like a little girl…”} 😉 😉

    Semper Fi’
    DM

  17. Julie- Yeah, I didn’t need any coffee the rest of the day!

    YOF- Nope, at that point “I” was the only one fully awake!

    Laura- You’re welcome to it! 🙂

    Anon- Yep, that sonar works pretty well!

    Danny- 🙂

    DB- Yep!!!

    Ed- I know, I know… sigh

    Msgt- Figured that would kick the memories for ya… LOL

    Rev- Don’t know that I consider THAT a good time… Just sayin…

    Don- Maybe… 🙂

    45er- Yep

    LL- LOL If I do… Well, I’m SURE somebody will put me out of my misery…

    DM- Lawdog is the MASTER, I’m a mere accolite…

  18. I am laughing with you not at you. Oh hell, I’m laughing at you & the situation. Like others, I can’t imagine you screaming like a girl, but if you say so…

    Was the bat sparkly in the least? If it had been one of those sparkly vampires from the Twiblight movies, it would explain the girl scream.

    Um, you’re not sparkly now, are you?

  19. Years ago, I was looking for something in my shed and found a newspaper folded up. I was an article that mentioned my Marine nephew in Desert Storm.
    I opened it and saw this neat little folded up bat toy.
    I heard whirring and clicking sounds as it slowly unfolded.
    I wondered when the kids had this toy and why I never saw it.
    Then I got it as I saw it’s beady little eyes..
    I did yell as I shook it to the floor and stepped on it.

  20. Hey, BTW, we have friends on Okinawa {he’s a retired USMC MSgt} – if we can correlate “things”, I’d be more than happy to put you in touch ………………… his daughter is USN helo pilot …………… 😉

    Semper Fi’
    DM

  21. Snigs- No, not sparkly… And go ahead an laugh, everybody else is 🙂

    Anne- You’re welcome, I think… 😀

    Ed- That’s funny!

    DM- NOW you tell me… But I do get over there on a regular basis. Maybe next trip!

  22. Okinawa Fruit Bats….Good times!

    Kadena enlisted club….AF boys scaring the AF girls by clapping and getting the bats to fly out of the trees by the bus stop…. We sailors dutifully rescuing said girls from the idiot AF boys…..

    Good times…..

    And those bats were huge!

  23. Agirl- Yeah, AFTER the fact…

    Pissed- Not quite that big, but definitely that ugly!

    Cargo- Yep… BIG is right

    Crucis- About the same size 🙂

    Brigid- Don’t have any but I’m SURE I can find some… 🙂

  24. Not laughing AT you, laughing, uh, near you.
    I always thought they were cute ( still do) although of course, the time and setting have a lot to do with it. I THINK it was Lon Chaney, Sr., who once said that a clown in the circus doing tricks is to be laughed at but when the same clown shows up alone at your door, at midnight, it is not the same.
    Reckon this is the same deal.
    I also got used to being around large spiders, no problem, but if I suddenly and unexpectedly see one crawling up my sleeve, it does cause a bit of a ‘whee!’ moment.

  25. You *DO* realize that there is now going to be a bat at the 5th Annual Northeast Bloggershoot in your honor, right?

    *g*

  26. I loved watching the bats fly when we lived on Okinawa. Hell, I just like bats in general, I think they’re cool. That being said, I don’t want a bat all up in my business!

  27. Okay, that made me laugh hard enough that I’m now following you.

    On second thought, maybe you should consider yourself warned on that count. (I’m at least entertaining company.)

  28. Para- Yep, there is expected and TOTALLY unexpected!

    Jay- I ‘may’ borrow your shotty for that one 🙂

    Christina- YOU know how big they get…

    Auntie- Welcome, and I’m glad you got a laugh out of it… 🙂