We Texans love y’all, but we’ll probably have to take action if Barack Obama wins the election. We’ll miss you too.
Here is what can happen:
1: Barack Hussein Obama is President of the United States, and Texas secedes from the Union in summer of 2013.
2: George W. Bush will become the President of the Republic of Texas . You might not think that he talks too pretty, but we haven’t had another terrorist attack, and the economy was fine until the effects of the Democrats lowering the qualifications for home loans came to roost.
So what does Texas have to do to survive as a Republic?
1. NASA is just south of Houston , Texas . We will control the space industry.
2. We refine over 85% of the gasoline in the United States .
3. Defense Industry–we have over 65% of it. The term “Don’t mess with Texas,” will take on a whole new meaning.
4. Oil – we can supply all the oil that the Republic of Texas will need for the next 300 years. What will the other states do? Gee, we don’t know. Why not ask Obama?
5. Natural Gas – again we have all we need, and it’s too bad about those Northern States. John Kerry and Al Gore will have to figure out a way to keep them warm….
6. Computer Industry – we lead the nation in producing computer chips and communications equipment -small companies like Texas Instruments, Dell Computer, EDS, Raytheon, National Semiconductor,Motorola, Intel, AMD, Atmel, Applied Materials, Ball Microconductor, Dallas Semiconductor, Nortel, Alcatel, etc, etc. The list goes on and on.
7. Medical Care – We have the research centers for cancer research, the best burn centers and the top trauma units in the world, as well as other large health centers. The Houston Medical Center alone employees over 65,000 people.
8. We have enough colleges to keep us getting smarter: University of Texas , Texas A&M, Texas Tech, Texas Christian, Rice, SMU, University of Dallas , University of Houston , Baylor, UNT ( University of North Texas ), Texas Women’s University, etc. Ivy grows better in the South anyway.
9. We have an intelligent and energetic work force, and it isn’t restricted by a bunch of unions. Here in Texas , it’s a Right to Work State and, therefore, it’s every man and women for themselves. We just go out and get the job done. And if we don’t like the way one company operates, we get a job somewhere else.
10. We have essential control of the paper, plastics, and insurance industries, etc.
11. In case of a foreign invasion, we have the Texas National Guard, the Texas Air National Guard, and several military bases. We don’t have an Army, but since everybody down here has at least six rifles and a pile of ammo, we can raise an Army in 24 hours if we need one. If the situation really gets bad, we can always call the Department of Public Safety and ask them to send over a Texas Ranger — only need one!
12. We are totally self-sufficient in beef, poultry, hogs, and several types of grain, fruit and vegetables, and let’s not forget seafood from the Gulf. Also, everybody down here knows how to cook them so that they taste good. Don’t need any food.
13. Three of the ten largest cities in the United States , and twenty- three of the 100 largest cities in the United States , are located inTexas. And Texas also has more land than California , New York , New Jersey , Connecticut , Delaware , Hawaii , Massachusetts , Maryland , Rhode Island and Vermont combined.
14. Trade: Three of the ten largest ports in the United States are located in Texas .
15. We also manufacture cars down here, but we don’t need to. You see, nothing rusts in Texas, so our vehicles stay beautiful and run well for decades.
16. We also will be in charge of protecting our borders so, a visa may be reuired to enter at the border crossings.
This just names a few of the items that will keep the Republic of Texas in good shape. There isn’t a thing out there that we need and don’t have.
Now to the rest of the United States under President Obama: Since you won’t have the refineries to get gas for your cars, only President Obama will be able to drive around in his big 5 mpg SUV.The rest of the United States will have to walk or ride bikes.
You won’t have any TV as the Space Center in Houston will cut off satellite communications. You won’t have any natural gas to heat your homes, but since Mr. Obama has predicted global warming, you will not need the gas as long as you survive the 2000 years it will take to get enough heat from Global Warming.
Signed,
The People of Texas
P.S. This is not a threatening letter – just a note to give you something to think about!
lol not sure if you are aware and are just posting this as humor but this is a myth that quite a few of my fellow Texans get wrong:
When all attempts to arrive at a formal annexation treaty failed, the United States Congress passed—after much debate and only a simple majority—a Joint Resolution for Annexing Texas to the United States. Under these terms, Texas would keep both its public lands and its public debt, it would have the power to divide into four additional states “of convenient size” in the future if it so desired, and it would deliver all military, postal, and customs facilities and authority to the United States government. (Neither this joint resolution or the ordinance passed by the Republic of Texas’ Annexation Convention gave Texas the right to secede.)
And Texas will ‘preciate ya’all!
Dunno (given the above) whether or not Texas has any more “right” to secede than any other sovereign state – and I really don’t care. It also doesn’t mean secession is a bad idea either. I don’t say this flippantly; “When in the course of human events…”
Just let the other side “fire on Ft Sumter” this time.
Are you *sure* that Texas A&M makes people smarter…
Those Aggie jokes didn’t start from nothing!
I’d move there in a heartbeat!!
Randy- I know, and it’s a ‘humor’ post for lack of real content today… 🙂
WSF- Heading there in a couple of years (or sooner)…
Boat Guy- Point!
Scott- TRUE! 🙂
Danny- It’s a great place to live/raise a family!
Lol, joke or not, it’s fun to think about.
Texas has all those things and still no open carry. Tsk, tsk.
And the northern border of Texas extends all the way up to the southern edge of Iowa!
Agirl- Yep 🙂
Andy- GOOD point!
Crucis- Not quite, but ‘close’ 🙂
if Texas even tries to secede from a Democrat-run (and ruined) America, I’ll be moving to the Lone Star state with my best guns and my ammo-bearing dog ASAP!
“You can go to Hell. I’m going to Texas!”
Love this (and definitely some points to ponder)!
Murph- pick me up on the way by…
Joey- 🙂
Now all y’all in Texas like to talk about the ‘what if’ scenario of seccession, but just remember, we South Cackalackians actually did it first 🙂
Love it! Funny post!
While I’m late to the party… Texas and North Dakota are in similar places. We don’t have a legal right to secede (and Texas’s is rather… questionable) but we produce more food then 700-800k people would ever need. We’ve got universities. Stupid amounts of Natural Gas and Oil. A refinery to handle that. We handle all our own power internally, and can continue to do so for at least another fifty to a hundred years.
Sounds like Texas and ND would be decent trade partners 😉
You know what they say about the flyover country cooridor.