And oh so damn true for the most part…
THEN
NOW
If you smoked, you had an ashtray on your desk.
If you smoke, you get sent outside and treated like a leper, if you’re lucky.
Mail took weeks to come to the ship.
If the ship is near land, there’s a mob topside to see if their cell phones work.
If you left the ship it was in Blues or Whites, even in home port.
The only time you wear Blues or Whites is for ceremonies.
You wore bell bottoms everywhere on the ship.
Bell Bottoms are gone and 14 yr-old girls wear them everywhere.
You wore a Dixie cup all day, with every uniform.
It’s not required and you have a choice of different hats.
Say “DAMN,” people knew you were annoyed and avoided you.
Say “DAMN,” you’d better be talking about a hydro electric plant.
The Ships Office yeoman had a typewriter on his desk for doing daily reports.
Everyone has a computer with Internet access and they wonder why no work is getting done.
We painted pictures of pretty girls on airplanes to remind us of home.
We put the real thing in the cockpit.
Your girlfriend was at home, praying you would return alive.
She is on the same ship, praying your condom worked.
If you got drunk off duty, your buddies would take you back to
the ship so you could sleep it off.
If you get drunk off duty, they slap you in rehab and ruin your career.
Canteens were made out of steel and you could heat coffee or hot Chocolate in them.
Canteens are made of plastic, you can’t heat them because they’ll melt, and anything inside always tastes like plastic.
Our top officers were professional sailors first. They commanded respect.
Our top officers are politicians first. They beg not to be given a wedgie.
They collected enemy intelligence and analyzed it.
They collect our pee and analyze it.
If you didn’t act right, they’d put you on extra duty until you straightened up.
If you don’t act right, they start a paper trail that follows you forever.
Medals were awarded to heroes who saved lives at the risk of their own.
Medals are awarded to people who show up for work most of the time.
You slept in a barracks, like a soldier.
You sleep in a dormitory, like a college kid.
You ate in a Mess Hall or Galley. It was free and you could have
all the food you wanted.
You eat in a Dining Facility. Every slice of bread or pat of butter costs, and you can only have one.
If you wanted to relax, you went to the Rec Center, played pool, smoked and drank beer.
You go to the Community Center and can still play pool, maybe.
If you wanted a quart of beer and conversation, you could go to the Chief’s or Officers’ Club.
The beer will cost you three dollars and someone is watching to see how much you drink.
The Exchange had bargains for sailors who didn’t make much money.
You can get better merchandise and cheaper at Wal-Mart.
If an Admiral wanted to make a presentation, he scribbled down
some notes and a YN spent an hour preparing a bunch of charts.
The Admiral has his entire staff spending days preparing a Power Point Presentation.
We called the enemy things like “Commie Bastards” and “Reds” because we didn’t like them.
We call the enemy things like “Opposing Forces” and “Aggressors or Insurgents” so we won’t offend them.
We declared victory when the enemy was dead and all his things were broken.
We declare victory when the enemy says he is sorry and won’t do it again.
A commander would put his butt on the line to protect his people.
A commander will put his people on the line to protect his butt.
Nuff said…
I see one or two that to me seem to be improvements… relating to the fairer sex.
Yep . . . . only worse coming I fear. Heavy Sigh . . . .
“opponents.” still a nice way of soft-pedaling the concept of hand-holding, dress-wearing, anal-sex loving, homo-erotic rapists of young boys… but hey, that’s just me. [yes, our deadly enemies in both Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia, etc.]
Mikael- Yep, ‘some’… most go the other way.
eia- Yep!
Russell- Yep, soft peddling so as not to ‘offend’ the enemy… Makes a ‘lot’ of sense doesn’t it…
And it use to be that only Chiefs and Officers wore Khakis. And you earned wearing them.
Now they are a part of all sailors uniform, and that respect it took to earn them is gone.
Not an improvment
Tweak a few things and that’s pretty much the state of all the Armed Forces.
I hate to admit I remember, ‘then.’
I was USN then, and don’t recognize whatever it has become.
The changes have greatly weakened us, and it’s our loss.
JUGM- Point, and I was out and about when they were ‘test’ wearing the Khaki/black and gray/black uniforms. EVERYONE I talked to preferred the Gray/black.
Rick- Nope
Crusty- That it is… dammit…
Stephen- Same here…
Rev- Concur!
Mess cooks used to be MS’s now they have a fancy title, Culinary Specialist.
Not everything has changed… at least not for the Submarine force. They’re just starting to integrate females onto subs, and so far they’ve only put a few female officers on boomers. And I still eat food for free at the Galley (although sometimes I wish I got BAS instead of galley food, due to the variable quality). Still, enough has changed that I agree, overall.
So true, and so sad.
Yeah, that sums it up alright.
I was in when they were first thinking about putting women on ships. We were deployed and one of the women they had on board doing research for it was performing a FOD walk with us right next to me.
She asked me “What do you think about having women on board with you?”
I told her in all honesty “If she does the damn job and doesn’t try to dictate how we can behave out here, fine. Otherwise, stay the hell away from me.
With all due respect, that is, Ma’am”
Duke- Yep, but the food hasn’t changed… Sliders and auto dog…
Fisher- Thanks for the comment! And the food is not bad on Subs…
drjim- Yep
Instinct- First deployment of women was VP-50 to Misawa, JA 1977 We had NO problems, CO said everyone would be treated equally and they were.