Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are dead?
Why do banks charge a fee on ‘insufficient funds’ when they know we obviously don’t have the money to pay them?
Why did Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
Whose idea was it to put an ‘S’ in the word ‘lisp’?
What is the speed of darkness?
Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?
If the temperature is zero outside today and it’s going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Did you ever stop and wonder…….
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, ‘I think I’ll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?’
Who was the first person to say, ‘See that chicken there… I’m gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it’s ass.’
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don’t point to their ass when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does your Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed when they know they are going to look up there anyway?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They’re both dogs !
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Stop singing and read on……
Do illiterate people really get to enjoy Alphabet Soup?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog’s face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
Do you ever wonder why you gave me your e-mail address in the first place?
Thanks for thinking of us.
Why do I aim the remote at the TV when it’s the cable box that changes the channel?
“Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?”
Why yes . . . . yes I do sleep like a baby . . . .
I never had time to ponder these things before.
I wondered even as a kid about Tarzan. Raised by apes and the only people he had contact with were the natives of the area, yet when Jane showed up he spoke English. And when the first newspaper men intervied him that has his name. He told them Tarzan. What was his last name the wanted to know. No last name he told them. They then ask about Jan. They wanted to know Jane’s whole name. Tarzan said, ‘Jane’s hole name Pussy.’ True!
The dog is angry probably because to him, humans have bad breath.
“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?”
I don’t believe the first claim, since I know there are at least(observable universe) 100 billion galaxies that each contain on average about 100 billion stars. That’s about 10 sextillion stars.
“Why is it that people say they ‘slept like a baby’ when babies wake up every two hours?”
By that definition, I’m sleeping like a baby. 🙁
I always wonder who invented the bagpipes … more importantly, why?. (And yeah, I play ’em.)
Coffeypot – go find a copy of TARZAN of the Apes (original copyright 1912) and all of your questions will be answered…………..
Anonymous, I have read the book…as an adult. It was as a kid that I had the questions…and no local access to a library either.
ED- LOL
Bob- Oh, GOOD one!
eia- Hehehe
ADM- Snerk…
CP- Good one and true!
Opus- Good point!
Michael- There is ALWAYS one… 🙂 Thanks
Crucis- Gettin there too!
Rev- THey missed stepping on the cat’s tail??? 🙂
Anon/CP- And the answer is???
Long plane ride? Couldn’t you find a liberal to annoy?
Ants!
WSF- Nah, too much fun harassing the FA’s and getting harassed back… 🙂
CP- LOL
“Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?”
Two reasons. First, it’s possible to verify the answer. Second, whether there’s 40 thousand, 4 billion, or 400 quintillion stars, it just doesn’t affect your life. Wet paint will get on your clothes.