The latest TDY/TAD travel memo…
In keeping with the latest round of DOD budget cuts, changes will be made to the Joint Travel Regulations (JTR). Effective Monday (today) the following revised procedures apply:
Lodging: All DOD personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Transportation: Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure on TDY. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Omaha NE, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to San Diego CA, then travel to San Diego will be substituted for travel to Omaha.
Meals: Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Costco, Hickory Farms, General Nutrition centers, and occasionally Safeway often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. We realize many of you survive your weekends this way.
Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use “all you can eat” salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. DOD Personnel are also encouraged to bring their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Musubi (traveling from LANT, Beefaroni) can be consumed at your leisure without the
bother of heating or costly preparation. Cost of these items will not be reimbursed.
Miscellaneous: All DOD personnel are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save tax dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods, which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure so that they
may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ballpoint pens will also be available to personnel so that sales may be made as time permits. Proceeds must be turned into the DOD finance section at the conclusion of the TDY. We welcome any suggestions for further fiscal innovations. Remember, “We invite you to be a Waste Buster…”
Not too far from the truth… I’m hearing local travel is basically curtailed, no reimbursement for mileage unless you stay overnight, got to have a ‘senior’ manager/O-7 approval for even local travel…
And they are no longer feeding troops in Afghanistan a hot breakfast… Just frikkin lovely…
In keeping with the latest round of DOD budget cuts, changes will be made to the Joint Travel Regulations (JTR). Effective Monday (today) the following revised procedures apply:
Lodging: All DOD personnel performing temporary duty (TDY) are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on government business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.
Transportation: Hitchhiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure on TDY. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorized in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Omaha NE, but a lower fare can be obtained by traveling to San Diego CA, then travel to San Diego will be substituted for travel to Omaha.
Meals: Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and specialty chains, such as Costco, Hickory Farms, General Nutrition centers, and occasionally Safeway often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. We realize many of you survive your weekends this way.
Travelers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilized, travelers should use “all you can eat” salad bars. This is especially effective for employees traveling together as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. DOD Personnel are also encouraged to bring their own food on business travel. Cans of tuna fish, Spam, and Musubi (traveling from LANT, Beefaroni) can be consumed at your leisure without the
bother of heating or costly preparation. Cost of these items will not be reimbursed.
Miscellaneous: All DOD personnel are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save tax dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods, which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all personnel prior to their departure so that they
may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ballpoint pens will also be available to personnel so that sales may be made as time permits. Proceeds must be turned into the DOD finance section at the conclusion of the TDY. We welcome any suggestions for further fiscal innovations. Remember, “We invite you to be a Waste Buster…”
Not too far from the truth… I’m hearing local travel is basically curtailed, no reimbursement for mileage unless you stay overnight, got to have a ‘senior’ manager/O-7 approval for even local travel…
And they are no longer feeding troops in Afghanistan a hot breakfast… Just frikkin lovely…
Gotta go get your own Lackland Laser to go with the Vest, Safety, Luminescent (one each) unless you’re a zoomie who saved his from basic…
Money is tight and Obama wants to fly to Hawaii.
Meanwhile, Panetta gets to commute to Kalifornia every weekend on the Gooberment Dime because he’s “Homesick,” instead of staying in DC. You know, where if the SHTF he can be right on top of it?
Like Benghazi.
Welcome to Jimmah Carter’s military. I did it once, and I’m glad I’m out. I did Clinton’s military, too. It was bad, but not as bad as Jimmah’s.
as funny as this is…none of it would surprise me.
Yep – troops typically end up at the bottom of the heap . . . . heaven help ya if you cut a welfare queen’s check by a buck or two . . . Hope and change sir, hope and change . . . .
What PawPaw said. It does remind me powerfully of the big cutbacks post-‘Nam.
Good travel tips. I know the President will give up AF1 for a Cessna 150, too. And use the ‘Buy 1 Get 1 Free coupons at McDonald’s, too.
The sad thing is that it took me two paragraphs to figure out the memo wasn’t real…
Sorry, hit enter too soon. I wanted to add, Obie would be glad to lead by example. Even Michelle will use the crops from the WH Garden for in-house meals, too.
Big changes are coming as the promise POTUS gave us, “I will greatly transform Amerika” is coming to pass. The joke (not quite a joke) simply underlines where we are headed.
Crusty- yep!
Jess- Again!!!
Les- yeah, right…
Paw- BTDT, and I think this round is going to be worse!
JUGM- Pretty damn close to the truth!
eia- As usual…
Rev- Good point!
CP- Sure, sure… NOT!!!
Tim- Oh it IS… trust me… or damn near!
CP- Yeah, sure…
LL- Concur!
Before long, they’ll be issuing you a pup tent and a discount card to KOA!
No hot breakfast is not totally true.
http://www.examiner.com/article/no-hot-breakfast-for-troops-afghanistan-is-a-myth
Gerry
Packetman- That and a bus ticket… sigh…
Gerry- Maybe ‘not’ due to budget cuts, but there are NO hot breakfasts at the FOBs in Northern Afghanistan. ALL they are getting at breakfast is MREs. Lunch/dinner is hot, mid-rats is sandwiches.
Look out, you are giving them ideas!
Thanks for staightening out Gerry.
I think I should put together my POD Berth proposal again. Imagine a row of Berthing Pods in the Airport. Just like a bunk on a Sub, but you are able to secure the door for privacy, with a storage locker. Servicemembers could rack out for upto 12 hours for $2.50 or $5.00 a day everyone else would be charged between $7 and $15 depending on the day of the week. Figure a triple level berth unit 7 wide would allow 21 people to rack out, watch local TV listen to radio charge devices and be able to adjust temp and airflow.
I’ve been thinking about it since reading about something similar in I think it was either Heinlein’s or Asimov’s youth novels. and the Japanese already do something similar, but they have entire hotels based on them.
Hmmm… well if they supply you the canoe to paddle Downunder I have a camp bed you can use (mid East-Coast) and Julie’s on the West Coast
Pax