Well, the dead horse has been flogged back to life yet again…
Horse 2.01Beta will go into prototype in the next 90 days, but there are a ‘few’ problems…
The inclusion of a Camelback (Dromedary v1.1 medium) 22 gal, integral panniers (L/R Ribs 4-9) 1132 sq in, were fairly simple modifications.
The Load Bearing Arm v2.23 (LBA) integration is having problems, as the location between existing shoulder blades and interface with the brain required an additional spotting camera on the end of the LBA, otherwise the horse would rotate his head to try to position the load and move the LBA off target. Also, the Carrot and Stick (CaS) mod has not proved effective, and the LBA keeps jiggering in to the point that the horse eats the carrot, defeating the purpose of the CaS. Further testing and possible programming mods may be required.
Installation of the Active Surveillance Sensor (ASS v1.5) above the tail has also presented problems, mainly when the horse takes a s**t. It tries to jump to avoid a perceived stern attack, can’t s**t and then has to reset. One possible modification is the S**t and Go Blind (SaGB) algorithm that would blind the sensor as soon as the tail is lifted, however the provider is stating that the algorithm is proprietary, and refuses to share code with the ASS team.
The interface team has yet to say yea or neigh to implementation of the SaGB.
A second proposed option is the Compact Optical Realignment Kit 1.1 beta (CORK), which could be used by the LBA to put a CORK over the ASS to allow the horse to s**t in peace. The concern here is the availability of CORKs and whether they would actually be effective.
A second proposed option is the Compact Optical Realignment Kit 1.1 beta (CORK), which could be used by the LBA to put a CORK over the ASS to allow the horse to s**t in peace. The concern here is the availability of CORKs and whether they would actually be effective.
Another issue that has arisen with Horse 2.01Beta is the projected Oats per mile (OPM) and Hay bales per mile (HPM) figures may be optimistic. One recommendation was to use OPM-M10 (10% molasses added), however there is an issue of getting OPM-M10 in far forward areas. The program manager has decided to go with straight OPM and let the ‘chips’ fall where they may.
And the whole useful load issue is now under review, since addition of the Camelback, panniers, LBA, ASS (with or without SaGB), and various interfaces has now brought Zero Fuel Weight (ZFW) within 250 lbs of Maximum Field Weight (MFW). With 100 lbs of OPM or 50 lbs of HPM, and 184 lbs of hydration onboard, useful load ranges between -34 lbs to16 lbs, unless Donkey 1.0 is used as a fuel bowser. Additionally, Horse 2.01Beta is now prohibited from saddle installation due to Camelback and panniers and there is no rider option available as with Horse 1.0.
One other ‘minor’ problem has arisen, and that is the CG issue. With the addition of the Camelback and LBA, the CG is now out of limits high, reducing angular slope certification to slopes of less than 20 degrees. Proposed modifications including relocating the Camelback to a kangaroo pack were scrapped when it was determined that the kangaroo pack would limit ground clearance, and interfere with pissing in the wind…
One other ‘minor’ problem has arisen, and that is the CG issue. With the addition of the Camelback and LBA, the CG is now out of limits high, reducing angular slope certification to slopes of less than 20 degrees. Proposed modifications including relocating the Camelback to a kangaroo pack were scrapped when it was determined that the kangaroo pack would limit ground clearance, and interfere with pissing in the wind…
The utility of Horse 2.01Beta is negligible, but 14 patents have been filed on the technology, 34 scientific papers are awaiting peer review, and Horse 2.01Beta has figured out how to use the LBA to ‘scratch that itch’, leaving him very contented and happy to continue testing. However, he DOES want the ASS turned off so that he can take a s**t in peace… And he wants to be referred to as Edward, NOT Ed…
Not that I’ve been bored, or this week has been non- productive or anything like that…
But everyone went away with congratulations for a ‘job well done’!
Sigh…
Awwww Gee, Willlburrr.
Had to be a program run by the Navy…
Not necessarily Master Sargent.
I’ve spent the last few years working in various facilities for a leading agricultural and construction equipment manufacturer somewhere in the mid-West (boy, being pointlessly vague is fun) and that read a lot like some of the crap I’ve overheard here. Hell, just trying to get an existing light fixture upgraded so it will be less likely to kill and/or maim people has been a months long adventure.
BGM
Just keep the zombies for overrunning our position for one more day.
Gee, NFO, a bit frustrated are we?
Ed- ;-P
MSgt- Actually y’all AND the Army were involved too…
BGM- Understood, and there is an entire subculture determined to ‘prevent’ us from doing our jobs!
LL_ Tryin…
Rev- Just a ‘tad’ bit… sigh
Sounds like a typical R&D project . . . or maybe my lovely wife’s planning session for our house remodel . . . .
BTDT – All that time and effort going into Horse 2.01 Beta when what the user really needs is a cow.
“may the horse fly from hell bite them…in their camel parts.” ol cowboy saying
eia- Yeah… sigh
Tim- Nope, a REAL camel…
Brighid- LOL Good one!
Ok, that’s the funniest thing I’ve seen in a very long time. Thanks NFO!!
Six- You’re welcome!
Obviously another project seeded and nurtured from within climate-controlled facilities with high security and lots of pencils, but no windows, dirt, grass, or sky.
And input from a politician or two.
Bob- Pretty much… Camel would have been a MUCH better idea… sigh