A little humor…

Since everything appears to be going to crap, and I don’t feel like jumping into those frays… My BP and all that…

MURPHY’S Other 15 Laws

  1. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  1. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
  1. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
  1. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
  1. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
  1. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don’t.
  1. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
  1. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something  right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it  wrong. Oh HELL yes… sigh
  1. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from Texas would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
  1. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
  1. The things that come to those who wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
  1. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
  1. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
  1. God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
  1. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Comments

A little humor… — 21 Comments

  1. Number 7. Also known as sailor resistant.

    Number 8. Only a ninety percent chance of going wrong? Experience would tend to put that number higher, and higher still if going wrong means damage or injury.

    Number 9. And at the head of the line of cars, you most likely will find a driver that should have given up their license a long, long, time ago.

    Thank you for making me smile!

    • no. 9
      have to. two lane major roads and miles of cars and semis are caught behind two crummy campers going between 5-15 mph with all their worldly goods hanging off the sides and clanking.
      in this case i finally honked them to the side when space became available and literally miles of trapped traffic started moving again. saw them for miles in the rear view mirror.
      when i am blocking traffic i move aside when possible and let it all pass. called ‘courtesy’.

  2. Number 1. I think Mark Twain is credited for making the statement, “Better for people to think you a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt.”

  3. If you follow number 10, you will have to identical shoes. Unless you have two left or two right feet, that will not work.

  4. Number 8. My sweetie says given 2 choices, I always pick the wrong one. It’s not my fault I’m left handed in a right handed world!!

    Suz

  5. Number 11: The best time to shop for a Valentine’s Day card is 6:00 PM on Valentine’s day. There are far fewer cards to read through and chances are you won’t have to buy one next year.

  6. #9. If all the cars in the world are lined up, the left lane will be empty and therefore, passing them is completely safe. Sounds like the Texan is pretty smart.

  7. John- Yep, noticed that…LOL

    Marc- According to some ladies I’ve danced with, ‘I’ have two left feet… sigh

    Suz- LOL

    ERJ- Good point!

    Juvat- There IS that…LOL

  8. I exercised rule #14 to the “T” last night, yes it hurt.

  9. My favorite;
    Build a man a fire and he’s warm for the evening.
    Set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life!

  10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.

    Which explains why there are so many people with two left feet…..

  11. #9….Been there, done that…succeeded…
    everybody was slowed way down to beady-eye the accident of the guy that didn’t.

  12. Pingback: A little humor… | Give Me Liberty

  13. #3, via John Ringo’s Posleen series, when in combat, “He who laughs last, thinks fastest”. Ya gotta be upright to laugh.