It’s Halloween, it’s cold, it’s raining, and we’ve got WAY too much candy… Sigh…
So you get humor…
- Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
- They’re afraid of flying off the handle!
- Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
- No body
- What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
- Bone appetit !
- Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
- Dayscare centers
- Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
- His ghoul friend.
- What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
- Benjamin Frankenstein
- What do ghosts serve for dessert?
- Ice Scream
- What’s a monster’s favorite play?
- Romeo and Ghouliet
- What do witches put on their hair?
- Scare spray
- What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
- What’s a haunted chicken?
- A poultry-geist
- How can you tell when you’re in bed with Count Dracula?-
- He has a big D on his pajamas
- What’s pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to
- Grandma monster
- Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
- Because he was in need of a light snack
- Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
- Have you ever tried to iron a monster?
- What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
- Boo boos
- Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
- Because of his coffin
- Why do mummies make excellent spies?
- They’re good at keeping things under wraps
- What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
- What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
- A wash and wear wolf
- What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
- They boo-kle their seatbelts
- What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
- Count Duckula
- What do you call a person who puts poison in a person’s corn
- A cereal killer
- Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
- Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be
- Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?
- Because everyone was a goblin!
- How did the ghost patch his sheet?
- With a pumpkin patch.
- What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
- His other fang.
Q: What do the birds sing on Halloween?
A: Twick or Tweet
Q: What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?
Q: Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?
A: It’s good for the bones
Q: What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?
A: White Pillowcases
Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?
Q: Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?
A: Their bats flew away
Q: What was the witches favorite subject in school?
Q: What does a vampire fear most?
A: Tooth decay
Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?
A: At a blood bank
Q: What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?
A: Frankenfurters with Ketchup
Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?
A: To the dead sea
Q: What is Transylvania?
A: Dracula’s terror-tory
Q: Where does dracula water ski?
A: On Lake Erie
Q: What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?
A: A blood vessel
Q: What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-
lantern by it’s circumference?
A: Pumpkin Pi
Q: Why are there fences around cemetaries?
A: Because people are dying to get in.
Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
A: He didn’t have the guts.
Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?
A: A BOO-logna sandwich.
Q: How does the silly witch know what time it is?
A: She looks at her witch-watch.
Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?
A: Don’t spook until your spooken to.
Q: What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?
A: An amoeboo!
Q: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?
A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!
Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his
A: He was repossessed.