Rules for Life…

1 * Accept the fact that some days you’re the pigeon, and some days you’re the statue!

2 * Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.

3 * Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4 * Drive carefully… It’s not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5 * If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

6 * If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7 * It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.

9 * Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.

10 * Nobody cares if you can’t dance well. Just get up and dance.

11 * Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12 * The second mouse gets the cheese.

13 * When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.

14 * Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

16 * Some mistakes are too much fun to make only once.

17 * We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box.

18 * A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.

19 * Save the earth….. It’s the only planet with chocolate.

20 * Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she’ll create a life. If you give her a house, she’ll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she’ll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she’ll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any grief, be ready to receive a ton of crap…

Comments

Rules for Life… — 19 Comments

  1. If you poke a dog with a stick don’t be surprised if he bites you.

  2. 15 * You may be only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person.

    Excellent.

  3. I am so stealing this!

    Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in her shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

  4. I like 18.

    One of the most beautiful sunsets I ever saw was do to taking a wrong turn, and coming up over a ridge just at the right time.

    🙂
    Josh

  5. 8 * Never buy a car you can’t push.

    funny story.

    you’ve met me, so you know how short i am…and once upon a time, i was about 45 lbs lighter. i also owned a minivan…a giant green hulking mass of metal and storage space. my parents gave it to me when my current car first started giving me troubles. it was a great vehicle until the starter decided that having a dead spot would be AWESOME.

    Chris and i discovered that pushing the van a couple of feet turned the starter just enough that i could start it…so occasionally i would have to do just that. the reactions of people at gas stations, grocery stores, and the like? PRICELESS.

    also: Windstars are rather light when the benches have been removed. 🙂

  6. Linda- Feel free!

    Poppa- Good one!

    North- Yep!

    Mrs. C- WHY am I not surprised you’d pick that one…LOL

    Joshkie- Agreed

    Julie- 🙂

    Laura- THAT had to be an interesting sight! 🙂

    Earl- Agreed!!!

    FF- Yep, another good one!

    PA- Thanks!

  7. it is really ture~~i know every details of this passage, but when the things happened to me ….i would forget all the words…

  8. indeed, sir, i caught quite a few odd looks during that time. i wasn’t sad to see the van go.

  9. kathy- That happens… sigh…

    ADM- thanks!

    Laura- I can imagine… 🙂

    MM- You may be little, but NO WAY IN HELL would I cross you… 🙂