Spoiler alert…

This one came over the transom from the Mil-email string…


-There are no consequences of a high speed car chase. Police are never interested in following up just why your car was driving at high speed down the wrong side of the highway, and why 16 other cars collided. Similarly, none of the other cars’ drivers will be in touch to find out your insurance details.
-Black people are not by default criminals, single mums or muscular, super-hot people.
-Average working-class Americans living in nice newish houses and apartments. The median household income in 2015 was about $53K, and for that amount you don’t get a picture perfect place to live in.
-Nobody farts or burps or uses the washroom unless they are escaping out of a window.
-Two Russians, when they speak to each other, almost always speak in English with a heavy Russian accent and not in Russian itself.
-Villains are always bad shots, giving the good guys time to find cover whilst giving away their own location.
-Humans can fight in a brawls with no broken bones, blood, messed up hair, etc.
-Good guys always win – In real life this is not the case. Real world has proven that no matter whether you are good or bad, if you have money and power you can bend the rules to win.
-A van cannot easily smash through a locked gate in a chain linked fence.
-Chinese characters are into Karate or Kung Fu.
-A cowboy cop can repeatedly break laws and Department rules with no legal trouble.
-Hitting someone in the head easily knocks people out.
-Tom Cruise always saves the world.
-When there is an explosion everybody dies instantly most of your internal organs explode due to pressure and not burn slowly.
-Humans will fall down fast no matter where they are shot.
-Cops taste test drugs to see what they are.
-Asian looking people are not always shop owners.
-Waking up from a coma has minimal repercussions.
-Tornadoes actually pull everything inward and not outward.
-A wrong turn always leads to horrible and scary places.
-A student can easily hack into the school system and change their record of absences.
-Jason Statham plays different characters
-If CPR doesn’t work you can try punching their chest.
-A hacker cannot break into the evil guys network/robot/system/whatever with a timer ticking down to conveniently let you know when the security will be breached.
-Being taught by a Martial Arts Master in a short period of time will result in winning a Karate or some other specific martial arts tournament even when opponents have way more experience.
-Running away from police, US Marshals, and other authorities is a wise idea to prove your innocence.
-Bullets don’t spark when shot they are made mostly of copper.
-A human can survive a high fall landing on a car, or hard ground with no damage to their body.
-NYPD or FBI are better than every criminal, but the hero comes from a different background and yet seizes the day. And what more, the cops include him in their pursuit.
-Mexicans are heavily into tequila and salsa.
-Foreign villains are always screaming and yelling bad things in their native language. All foreign villains have screaming problems.
-It’s so damn easy to hack into a traffic system using a Laptop.
-People working as a restaurant waiter living a stylish comfortable life. If you wait tables other than in upscale and very expensive restaurants, you barely have enough money to cover bills.
-Getting repeatedly knocked out doesn’t have any lasting problems.
-Cars never run out of fuel. You can be driving to work, decide you’d rather drive from San Diego to Boston with a stop in Houston without filling up the tank.
-Sex always looks fantastic and there are no weird bodily noises or klutzy mishaps. And every woman’s boobs are perky and perfect no matter what!
-Eiffel tower is visible from everywhere in Paris. In reality, unless one is within a 2 km radius, the tower is nowhere close to visible.
-Good guys are great shots.

-When you work 40 hours a week and have a wife and three kids to support, you have all the time in the world to go to a bar every night and get drunk out of your mind.
-Computers don’t make lots of beeps and squeaks when they’re doing stuff.
-It’s impossible to aim two guns and shoot, our eyes don’t function that way.
-Police have access to all the data in the world. DNA records, dental records, finger prints, telephone records, list of everybody’s friends and acquaintances.
-If a person is Irish they’ll drink alcohol. Probably Jameson’s.

-Anyone can pick up a weapon and fire it reasonably accurately, even if with no firearms experience whatsoever.
-Japanese are expressionless and play with robots.
-You can enhance any image and improve its quality.
-A city cop can repeatedly visit a city in another state investigating a criminal case repeatedly with no approval from the police department he or she works for without getting fired, demoted, suspended, or any other negative consequences.
-That people exercising never look bad. Women with long hair don’t get it stringy and sticky with sweat, and no-one turns red in the face or has a muffin top that jiggles.
-You can easily survive getting thrown through the air by an explosion.
-White people come in all shapes and sizes not only athletic, perfect teeth and perfect body.
-When the killer is after you, adrenaline is basically non-existent. Actually thanks to adrenaline all your senses are more sensitive and active, let’s not forget that your heart rate increases to supply your muscles with oxygen so you’re less likely to trip and fall.
-Punching glass with an unprotected hand to break it is a safe wise idea.
-If a cop doesn’t read your miranda rights you go free.
-Every machine is a ‘She’.
-Bulletproof vests stay in place don’t have to be adjusted.
-Cars can jump off high places without having anything happening to the car nor to the people inside it.
-If the lead character is persistent enough and keeps stalking the female lead character, she will eventually fall in love with him.
-The insanity defence has a decent success rate.
-All gay guys are good looking and well dressed. Certainly not slobby or hairy.
-A man and woman will have mostly nothing or nothing at all in common yet still they end up together.
-All fit and beautiful people on the street. The reality is that two out of three adult Americans are overweight or obese. That doesn’t make a nice backdrop for pretty movies.
-Everyone is beautiful, even the ugly people.
-Hacking into high security military grade servers is done within 2 mins by a random tech guy, whose laptop never requires charging and has fancy screen savers.
-There is no such thing as a “hand blood vessel structure analyser and database” to catch suspect.
-People dropping dead like a sack of potatoes when shot once. Unless it’s a powerful rifle round and/or a hit in the head, a person doesn’t die immediately.
-Movie prostitutes look like Julia Roberts. Real life ones often look more like Eric Roberts.
-That when you drive in the city, there will always be an empty parking space right in front of the building you’re going to.
-You’ll be safe from a large explosive if you’re behind a vending machine.
-Bruises and cuts heal within 5-7 hours or whenever hair and makeup get tired of keeping them consistent.
-The world is black and white with persons simply being bad or good.
-Any place on Earth can be placed under surveillance using a satellite that is available 24×7 and the data can be obtained real-time.
-A woman with glasses can be easily made over into an amazing looking woman.
-Breaking windows (especially car windows) is pretty hard.
-Every high class villain has a unique taste; art or music or fine cigars or specific beer brand.
-If it is an action sequence and you are chasing the bad guy, no matter how many traffic lights you break, the police won’t come near you. They come into picture only when you are driving through a suburban road or parking your car.
-Police won’t think of looking inside abandoned warehouses for hideouts of criminals.
-Dismembering a body isn’t as easy, ever tried cutting piece of meat for dinner? Enough said.
-People are not that good looking.
-Brits are suave during the day, and get drunk at night.
-Kicking open a door with one foot is painful and will seldom lead to success.
-You always have time for your last words.
-Africa is all desert.
-A human can easily dodge a high amount of gunfire.
-It is easy to fall in love with strangers – love at first sight is a concept that has been exaggerated by many films.
-A single kiss with a woman trying to avoid any contact with a man does NOT immediately send her into orgasmic bliss.

And if you believe that, I’ve got this bridge… Doesn’t go anywhere, but it’s a helluva deal… 🙂


Just a quickie hit on Life, The Universe and Everything (LTUE) Conference I attended in Provo, UT last week…

Ranging from Academics, through Art, Publishing and Professional Development, Gaming to Writing, and Well-Being. With over 200 different panels and activities centered around writing and performing, it was honestly one of the best conferences I’ve ever attended.

Now 35 years old, this conference is, IMHO, one of the best places to listen and learn on many subjects that a writer can use to improve their craft, regardless of genre one writes in.

Professional authors, editors, artists all freely sharing on panels designed to help not just the beginning writer, but also to make the writer think and look at different options, ways of doing things, with the goal of being more successful (and NETWORKING).

Three days that I can honestly say I enjoyed (well other than FBS from sitting for 10-12 hours a day), and I’d highly recommend it to anyone that is interested in becoming a successful author/artist (and NETWORKING).

Numbers?  Somewhere between 11-1300 people attended over the three days.

Biggest problem? Not being able to be in two or three places at once, so you must make good choices on which panels you attend. Most of the panels are 50 minutes long, usually 40 minutes of discussion then 10 minutes of Q&A.

Kudos to all those panelists who gave of their time to give a little back, it was truly appreciated.

Navy ‘Stuff’…

The Navy uses various ‘naming’ conventions for ships, you can see today’s current ship listing, HERE. What I wanted to do today was look at one of the ‘oddities’ in the ship naming line…

That being the USS Los Angeles…

There have been four USS Los Angeles in the Navy over the years.

The first USS Los Angeles was originally a bare boat charter from Union Oil Company of the SS Los Angeles a commercial tanker in 1917, rename USS Los Angeles in August of 1917. She served through WWI transporting POL cargo to Europe, then was released in early 1919.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 86378 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

The second USS Los Angeles was ZR-3, it was a Zeppelin airship! Constructed in Germany as part of the Treaty repatriations, it was Zeppelin works number LZ 126, built as a passenger airship, and transferred to the Navy in November 1924. This was the Navy’s first rigid hulled airship, a radical departure from the previous classes of blimps.

She was 658 feet long, 90 feet in diameter, and 104 feet high when the control cab was added.  Powered by five Maybach engines, she cruised at 48 kts, and sprinted at 65 kts. Her range was 5,770 nm.

She is shown here moored to USS Patoka (AO-9), off Panama during Fleet Problem XII, February 1931.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 11747 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

This picture shows her control car, fully enclosed, which was a major upgrade from the earlier classes of blimps.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 67775 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

For more than 7 years USS Los Angeles served as an aerial laboratory and testing station for numerous experiments in the development of coordinated naval air and sea tactics, including the first use of the ‘trapeze’ for airplanes. In addition she trained practically all airship crews for the Navy, and operations with the fleets sent her to the Pacific, the Canal Zone, and the Caribbean. She decommissioned 30 June 1932; recommissioned for a time after the Akron disaster 3 April 1933; and was struck from the Navy list 24 October 1969.

The third USS Los Angeles, CA-135 was a Baltimore Class Heavy Cruiser,  commissioned 22 July 1945, Capt. John A. Snackenberg in command.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 97386 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

In 1946 and 1957, she operated with the 7th Fleet along the coast of China and in the western Pacific to the Marianas. She returned to San Francisco, Calif., 21 January 1947; decommissioned at Hunter’s Point 9 April 1948.

This is her ships emblem. Not for self, but for country was their motto.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo USN 1067142 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

She was recommissioned 27 January 1951, she joined naval operations off the eastern coast of Korea 31 May as flagship for Rear Adm. Arleigh A. Burke’s CRUDIV 5. During the next 6 months she ranged the coastal waters of the Korean Peninsula from Hungnam in the east to Haeju in the west while her guns pounded enemy coastal positions.

In one of those truly odd situations, LT General Van Fleet (8th Army) and RADM Burke were flying out to the Los Angeles and the helicopter crashed on landing!

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 66526 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

None of the people on the helicopter were injured and Van Fleet and Burke went ahead with their planned meeting!

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 93208 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

After returning to the United States 17 December for overhaul and training, she made her second deployment to Korean waters 9 October 1952. While participating in the bombardment of Wonsan late in March and early in April 1953, she received minor damage from enemy shore batteries, but continued operations until sailing for the west coast in mid‑April.

Between November 1953 and June 1963 Los Angeles made eight more deployments to the Far East where she served as a cruiser division flagship with the 7th Fleet.

She returned to Long Beach from her final Far East deployment 20 June 1963.

The fourth and last (for now) USS Los Angeles is SSN-688 launched on 6 April 1974 sponsored by Anne Armstrong, and commissioned on 13 November 1976 with Commander John E. Christensen in command. 361 feet long, 32 foot beam, drawing 30 feet at full load, she was capable of ‘in excess’ of 30 kts… 🙂

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo USN 1167880 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

She hosted President Jimmy Carter and the First Lady on 27 May 1977 for an at-sea demonstration of her capabilities.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo USN 1170345 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

Bonus points if you recognize the old guy in the middle of the three… No, not Jimmy Carter.



Her armament consisted of  4-  21 in bow tubes (no current US sub has stern tubes and she could fire MK48 torpedoes, Harpoon Missiles and later the Tomahawk Cruise Missile.

Whe she was decommissioned on 23 January 2010, in the Port of Los Angeles, she held the record for the longest serving submarine at 34 years!

One of the ‘oddities’ of the submarine service is that the wardroom of the oldest submarine in the fleet carries Richard O’Kane’s personal cribbage board from WWII. The board was transferred to the next oldest boat, USS Bremerton (SSN-698) when the USS Los Angeles was decommissioned…

Continue reading

This is what happens…

When you cut too many trees…

Or there aren/t enough bathrooms for the conference attendees to use… Sigh…

About those ‘peaceful’ refugees…

Seems 60 Minutes got more than they bargained for in Sweden when they attempted to show how ‘peaceful and accepting’ the muslim refugees were…

About the only thing they didn’t do was try to rape the correspondent…

This is the truth that we need to spread so people know the truth, not the agitprop the liberals are putting out…

h/t JP


Soooo, I’m out taking a walk and run across a yard sale…

And what do I see sitting on one of the back tables? Can it be?

Something from my childhood! I see a set of aluminum glasses and a pitcher!

For 50 cents, I couldn’t resist…

Dunno what the hell I’m going to do with them, but these are practically unused! The lady said she tried to give them to her daughter, who turned up her nose at them… LOL

‘Road’ Trip…

Heading out to LTUE in Provo, UT to do some of that there larnin’…

Go read the folks on the sidebar while I refurb the ice cream machine.

Just a quick update on Rimworld- Into the Green, it’s out to beta readers now, so progress is being made. 🙂 Next steps are the cover and editor. Those will come in the next month or so.

Boosting the signal…

Jon Del Arroz managed to get himself crossways with both his publisher and a couple of Cons that he’d been participating in for the last 4-5 years…

He just published his first novel a tie in to the Star Realms RPG. Well received until…

He made the mistake of coming out for President Trump and being blackballed, even though he is a Hispanic author…

You can read the sad details, HERE.

Peter’s take is HERE, and Dave Freer mentioned it at MGC, HERE.

If you’d like to support him, the cover links directly to the Amazon page.

If anybody really doubted that the SJWs (or as I refer to them POS- Perpetually Offended Snowflakes) are taking over much of the Science Fiction segment of publishing and cons, this should be an education for you…

I wish Mr. Del Arroz the best, and I hope he continues the series, albeit with a different, more INCLUSIVE publisher…


A new writer…

Dorothy (Wing and a Whim) has joined the ranks of published author with her first novella, Scaling The Rim…

It’s an interesting cross between science fiction, romance and interspecies dynamics…

Click on the cover to order!

Here’s the blurb-

Never underestimate the power of a competent tech…

When Annika Danilova arrived at the edge of the colony’s crater to install a weather station, she knew the mission had been sabotaged from the start. The powers that be sent the wrong people, underequipped, and antagonized their supporting sometimes-allies. The mission was already slated for unmarked graves and an excuse for war…

But they hadn’t counted on Annika allying with the support staff, or the sheer determination of their leader, Captain Restin, to accomplish the mission. Together, they will overcome killing weather above and traitors within to fight for the control of the planet itself!

Dot’s writing is evocative of her ‘local course knowledge’ of bad weather, e.g. Alaska and its impact on man or being.

I don’t normally like or read anything remotely resembling ‘romance’, but this one is actually a good story! And no, that’s not damning with faint praise, it IS GOOD!!!  🙂

Go get it and support our starving artist’s colony out here!

Navy ‘Stuff’…

Edit- Sorry about the screwed up pics and dates in the first go round this morning… Apparently something ‘glitched’ in the upload. My bad… All corrected now, thanks Grog for the comm date!

By popular demand, some WWII Destroyers that my readers have connections to…

These first three are Fletcher Class DDs…

First is USS McCord, DD534, she was attached to both TF38 and TF58 under Admiral’s Halsey and Spruance.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 107248 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH 78955-KN from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

Here’s a pic of one of my reader’s dads who served on USS McCord during the war.

USS McCord survived the war, was shifted to the ready reserve, then brought back for Korea under TF77. She was decommed in the early 1970s.

Next is USS Hazelwood, DD531

Commissioned in 1942, was the second named for Commodore John Hazelwood; a naval leader in the American Continental Navy.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo NH68373-KN from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

Underway somewhere in the South Pacific…

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo USN 1045624 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

On April 29th, 1945, she and the carrier group came under attack. She sunk two kamikazes, but a third screamed out of the clouds from astern. Although hit by Hazelwood’s fire, the enemy plane careened past the superstructure. It hit #2 stack on the port side, smashed into the bridge, and exploded. Flaming gasoline spilled over the decks and bulkheads as the mast toppled and the forward guns were put out of action. Ten officers and 67 men were killed, including the Commanding Officer, Cmdr. V. P. Douw, and 36 were missing.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo 80-G-187592 from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

Larry’s dad was a GMG (Gunner’s Mate, Guns) on the Hazelwood, but rate changed to YN at some later point.

USS Hazelwood was decomm’ed, but brought back in service for Korea, staying in service through the Cuban Missile Crisis, the search for USS THRESHER, and was the test ship for the DASH unmanned helicopter.

And last but not least USS Haggard, DD555

Commissioned in 1943, named for Captain Haggard of the Louisa, who fought in the Quasi-War. I was unable to find a ship’s crest or patch for her. She was part of the Taffy-2 Group (Battle of Leyte Gulf) and TG38 and TG58.

U.S. Navy bureau of Ships – Official U.S. Navy photo from the U.S. Navy Naval History and Heritage Command

USS Haggard was acting as a forward picket on 22 March 1945 when shortly before midnight she detected a surfaced submarine with radar, and after the submarine dived attacked with depth charges. Ten minutes later the submarine surfaced on Haggards port beam. Commander Soballe brought his ship into a hard left turn toward his adversary. Haggard rammed the submarine I-371 amidships, sinking I-371 in three minutes.

On 29 April, she was proceeding to picket station and was attacked by a kamikaze making a shallow dive to starboard. The aircraft crashed close aboard and penetrated her hull near the waterline. Soon afterward, her bomb exploded in Haggard’s engine room. As water gushed through the gaping hole in the destroyer’s side and she began to settle, another suicide plane attacked, but was splashed by anti-aircraft fire. Wounded were taken by cruiser San Diego (CL-53) and destroyer Walker (DD-517) arrived to tow the stricken ship to Kerama Retto, near Okinawa.

She departed Kerama Retto 18 June 1945 and arrived Pearl Harbor via Saipan and Guam 12 July. From there she steamed to San Diego and the Panama Canal Zone, arriving at Norfolk 5 August 1945. Decommissioned 1 November 1945, Haggard was scrapped because of war damage.

And a picture of another reader’s father that served on USS Haggard.

HERE is a link to the Peripatetic Engineer’s blog, his dad also served on DDs in WWII and he recounts a story from his dad’s logs on USS Ericsson, DD 440, in the Atlantic, the Med and the Pacific. He also has links to earlier post on her in that post.

USS Ericsson was a Gleaves-class destroyer, one generation older than the Fletcher Class ships above, was the third ship of the United States Navy to be named after John Ericsson, who is best known for devising and building the Civil War ironclad USS Monitor. USS Ericsson was commissioned on 13 March 1941.

Here she is in camouflage paint #1 during Convoy Duty. She supported five Atlantic convoys before going to other assignments, culminating in Pacific duty in September 1945.

 They all served with honor, in some of the most trying times in the South Pacific…

And I must add this LINK, Typhoon Cobra or Halsey’s typhoon. 790 men were lost as ships sank in that typhoon during operations off the Philippines.