Funny…

How ‘little’ attention this is getting…

Last month, economic conditions triggered the Sahm Rule — one of the most historically reliable indicators of a recession. The market responded swiftly with a major sell-off, fueling fears of an approaching downturn. However, instead of raising alarms, experts and the media immediately sought to cast doubt on whether the rule’s activation truly signaled a recession. Even Claudia Sahm, the rule’s creator, came out to downplay the possibility of a recession.

But now, the economy has triggered another notoriously accurate recession indicator.

“The inversion of the yield curve, which occurs when short-term bonds offer a higher yield than long-term bonds, is over for now after a more than two-year-long stretch,” reports Business Insider. 

Full article, HERE from PJ Media and HERE from Business Insider.

When you add in what some are saying is a ‘real’ inflation rate of 19%, and the lack of media coverage of ANY negative budgetary issues, along with the constant ‘corrections’ to the monthly job numbers…

You really have to wonder whatthehell is going on! And none of it is good for us peons!

The media bread and circuses are continuing, hard news is ‘hard’ to find, the Trump assassination has disappeared from the media, etc…

And we are less than 60 days from a presidential election…

Sigh…

A little humor…

California became a state
The people had no electricity.
The state had no money.
Almost everyone spoke Spanish.
There were gunfights in the streets.

So basically nothing has changed except then the women had real boobs and the men didn’t hold hands.

That, my friends, is the history lesson for today!

+++++++++

THE TINY CABIN

A social worker from a big city in Massachusetts recently transferred to the mountains of West Virginia and was on the first tour of her new territory when she came upon the tiniest cabin she had ever seen in her life. Intrigued, she went up and knocked on the door.

“Anybody home?” she asked.

“Yep,” came a kid’s voice through the door.

“Is your father there?” asked the social worker.
“Pa? Nope, he left afore Ma came in,” said the kid.

“Well, is your mother there?” persisted the social worker.
“Ma? Nope, she left just afore I got here,” said the kid.

“But,” protested the social worker, (thinking that surely she will need to intervene in this situation) “are you never together as a family?”

“Sure, but not here,” said the kid through the door. “This is the outhouse!”

Government workers are so very smart. Aren’t you overjoyed that they’ll soon be handling all our financial, educational and medical dilemmas?

+++++++++

A good one for all my fellow veteran friends and others who might understand it.  Two old farts, Dwaine and Lonnie were sitting in their rockers at the old soldiers home…

Dwayne asked Lonnie. “Do you remember that stuff they used to put in our coffee during the war, to make us forget about women?”

Lonnie replied, “I think you mean salt peter.”

Dwayne. “Yep, that’s the stuff. I think it’s beginning to work!”

++++++++++++

During dinner one night, our friend Jim told us of his days playing football in college as a defensive lineman.

“Did you play sports in college?” his wife asked me.

“Yes,” I answered. “I was on West Point’s shooting team.”

“That’s great,” she said, appropriately impressed. “Offense or defense?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~

A young boy and his mother were in the cemetery visiting the grave of a loved one. They came upon a headstone that read, “Here lies an Alabama graduate and an honest man.”

The boy asked his mother, “Mommy, why did they bury two men in there?”
~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q:  Why do Tennessee fans wear orange?
A:  So they can dress that way for the game on Saturday, go hunting on Sunday, and wear it to pick up trash on Monday.

Q:  How many Florida freshmen football players does it take to change a light bulb?
A:  None. That’s a sophomore course.

Q:  How can you tell if an Auburn football player has a girlfriend?
A:  Tobacco juice on both sides of the pickup truck.

Q:  You are stuck in a cave with an angry grizzly bear, a mountain lion, and a Texas A&M fan. You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
A:  Shoot the Aggie fan…twice.

Q:  If three LSU football players are in a car, who is driving?
A:  The police officer.

I know that a few Washington Commanders fans drop by here from time to time. Here’s one for them.

Q: What is the difference between a Commanders fan and a puppy?
A: After a while the puppy will stop whining.

 

 

Pot…kettle…

Isn’t THIS just speshul…

How many data points must you identify before you can identify a pattern? 

This is a question I’ve pondered about in the case of New York’s Acting Judge Juan Merchan. He is the judge presiding over the bookkeeping and non-disclosure agreement case of Donald Trump. What happens when you hide evidence of a pattern? Ironically—and illegally—Judge Merchan and the people at the oxymoronically-named Ethics Commission for the New York State Unified Court System have been hiding the judge’s records and disclosures since 2018. America First Legal is suing both Merchan and ethics overseers for illegally hiding the judge’s disclosures for the past seven years.

Full article, HERE.

Funny how when the shoe is on the ‘other’ foot, the foot dragging, ignoring, etc. becomes the norm rather than the exception?

Anybody with two brain cells to rub together knew going in this was a ‘hit piece’ in the lawfare scheme against Trump and the odds of overturning on appeal are…astronomical, simply from the egregious actions of Merchan.

Personally, I believe this was pushed through just so they could trumpet the ‘convicted felon’ meme during the election, not caring it will be overturned as soon as real judges take a look at it.

The media is obviously complicit in the whole mess, covering for anything the left does, while trumpeting anything they can to bring down conservatives any way they can…

What happened to the America I spent over 20 years defending???

 

PSA…

Dammit… I HATE hackers…

Xxxxxx detected a match to your Social Security Number.

Found: Social Security Number
Potentially Breached Site:  nationalpublicdata.com

Personal information exposed on the dark web does not necessarily mean your info has been used fraudulently. We recommend you take the following proactive steps to prevent any potential risk:

  • Place a fraud alert on your credit file as soon as possible at Experian.com/fraud or by calling 1-888-397-3742.
  • Place a freeze on your credit file at all three credit bureaus—Experian®TransUnion® & Equifax®.
  • Review your credit report from all three bureaus and report any activity you don’t recognize. Request a copy of your latest credit reports by visiting AnnualCreditReport.com.
  • Review resources available at the Social Security Administration online by visiting SSA.Gov/Fraud.
  • Monitor your credit card and bank accounts for suspicious transactions and notify the financial institution if you notice anything suspicious.

Note: Large data breaches often lead to multiple alerts of exposed personal information, as information is exposed in a variety of combinations.

I have noted ‘fake’ invoices in the last couple of days, usually trying to hit Paypal. But I don’t have any credit card attached to that and the account it is tied to is locked down.

Folks, jumping through the hoops is a PITA and takes about a half hour, but if it saves you from losing $$$ it is well worth it!

One reminder- If you put credit freezes on, you MUST take them off if you are doing something like buying a house or car, or anything requiring credit. Otherwise, nobody can see your credit.

YMMV, IANAL, I didn’t stay in a Holiday Inn Express last night, but I’m also not going to take chances….

Book promo…

Raconteur Press has another antho out! The Big Ones

Click on the cover for the Amazon link!

The Blurb-

World War II. The Great Patriotic War. The Big One. No matter what the name, the Second World War was a great and terrible conflict that swung frequently on the hinge of fate. This short story collection brings together both acclaimed writers and capable newcomers to explore fresh “what ifs” of humanity’s most expansive conflict. If you’re a fan of World War II and alternate history, prepare to be entertained. It doesn’t end on the deck of a battleship, but rest assured Big Ones is satisfying all the same.

Yes, I have a story in this one! And I’m honored to have been selected.

James Totten has a .99 cent special going for his novel South Korean Blues

The blurb-

North Korea gets real quiet when the Chinese Communist Party Kingpins die in an orbital strike from the US Space Force. South Korea gets presented with a once in a generation oppertunity to reunite Korea with Seoul in charge. Will crossing the DMZ going noth present that much of a problem? What can be done to prevent the NKPA from rushing reinforcements to the DMZ? The NKPA has special forces that can enter the South through invasion tunnels. What about the North Korean leadership and the nucelar weapons? Will the US get directly involved or sit on the sidelines? What in the heck is “Rapid Weseal?” Find the answers to all of these questions and more in this fast paced novel of World War Three becoming a global conflict. 

And last but certainly not least, David Weber and Richard Fox’s Book two in the Ascent to Empire series Rebel

The blurb-

HE NEVER WANTED TO BE A REBEL

The Five Hundred, the elite families who rule the Terran Federation, control its political power and its wealth, and they’ve grown steadily wealthier and more powerful, thanks to the war against the Terran League. War may be hard on the people who get caught in its path, but it’s very good for business, in the short term, and the Five Hundred own the shipyards that build the Navy’s ships. They own virtually all the industry that produces the weapons and matériel the war consumes so voraciously . . . and they’ve made damn sure someone else does the dying.

True, there are a few flies in the Five Hundred’s ointment.

There’s the growing hatred and resentment of the Fringe Worlds, whose children do eighty percent of the dying in the Five Hundred’s war. But the Five Hundred have made sure the Fringe knows what will happen to any system that goes ”out of compliance.”

There are the lunatic conspiracy nuts who insist that the alien Rishathan Sphere is secretly aiding the League’s military, but the Five Hundred have forced them to keep their mouths shut where it matters.

And then there’s Terrence Murphy, a man of honor who loves the Federation, who springs from the Five Hundred, yet knows it for what it is and is determined to speak for its victims. But the five hundred have dispatched ample force to deal with him and his handful of lunatic followers.

Unfortunately, the Fringe has paid enough of its children’s lives, and it no longer cares what may happen if it dares to defy the Five Hundred.

Worse, the lunatic conspiracy nuts were right, and the Rish have planned carefully for the Federation’s destruction.

And, worst of all, the Five Hundred have fatally underestimated Terrence Murphy.

All three are highly recommended, and very ‘different’ takes on battles… WWII, near future, MilSF.

Sadly…

He’s NOT wrong…

I truly hate to hear about the number of family restaurants, long time, restaurants, and historic restaurants that are closing their doors…

If you can, support those ‘local’ restaurants that continue to serve up the good, wholesome meals (or at least meals you actually enjoy eating).

It’s past time…

To drain the DC swamp…

If he is reelected this November, will Donald Trump manage to drain the swamp this time? The swamp-dwellers are saying no.

Ever since he began his first run for president, Trump has famously vowed to drain the swamp, that is, clear out the far-left bureaucracy in Washington that bears so much responsibility for the leftward drift of the nation over the last decade and a half. 

<snip>

According to a new survey, fully 54% of “federal government managers would defy voters to do what they want.” The Napolitan Institute, which states that “we recognize that the only legitimate authority for government comes from the consent of the governed,” and that “our mission is to amplify and magnify the voice of the American people so clearly and powerfully that it becomes the driving, framing and shaping force for the crucial conversations of our nation,” conducted a survey of 500 swamp denizens, aka federal bureaucrats.

Full article, HERE from PJ Media.

I literally don’t have the words for what I want to say, since this is a ‘family’ blog…

Dammit!!!!!

Tar and feathers is sounding better and better, just sayin…

Stray snippet…

Still playing with this one… Comments/recommendations appreciated!

Morgan stowed his sniper rifle in its proper place in the armory rack, scratched an itch in his beard, picked up the debris from the rifle cleaning, and dropped it in the burn bin as Top Sergeant London strode into the armory. “Gah, you stink Sergeant Diederik. What the hell did you and Alesander roll in?”

Morgan slumped on the bench, taking a long drink from the electrolyte bulb. “Top, it was a hundred ten out there, no wind, not enough liquids, and we spent two damned days in that concealed hide up on the mountain. Didn’t see shit to shoot at either.”

London shrugged. “Well, it was fitty-fitty which side was going to get action. I figured you’d get plenty the way the operations order was laid out. Anyway, we were OPFOR, so we didn’t really have control.”

Corporal Alesander, short, squat, black-haired with two days of beard, stumped in, racked his rifle and sat down across from Morgan. “Top, you fucked us. Opposing force my ass. We never even saw a scout. Maurice and Archie got nine kills, resupplied, and a nice, shaded hide. Why don’t you like us?”

London’s grin was feral at best. “Well, you two are the colonel’s golden boys.” He pointed at Morgan. “Just look at the good sergeant. Doesn’t he look like a poster boy for the reserves? Bright blonde hair, beard, blue eyes, slim, fit, why he’s a vid star, doncha know.”

Morgan surged up off the bench, glaring at London, who took a step back. “Top, we do our drills. You know our scores are better than anybody else in the batt. Yes, we saved the colonel’s life during the Gamma Five excursion when he was a major. Yes, he knows who we are by name. Why do you have a hard on for us? You’ve never been in combat with us!”

“Don’t have to be to know sleazebags like you that trade on their laurels with the brass.” London bristled. “Get cleaned up and fall out for formation in thirty. I’ll be back to see if your weapons are actually clean.” With that, he stomped out of the armory, leaving Morgan and Jess staring at one another.

Diederik looked up at the overhead and finally said, “Jess, I’m wondering if staying in the reserves is worth it. Six years active, and now four here on Epsilon Prime and I’m still a sergeant and you’re still a corporal.”

Alesander got up slowly. “I know, Morgan. I know. But it’s still extra money, and,” he grinned, “We still get to play with our toys. It was odd that we never saw the OPORD though. That normally comes through intel.” Turning toward the door, he added, “I’m for the shower and a clean uniform. You and I both know London is going to fail our weapons, so we’ll have to come clean them again, so I’m going to keep this uniform handy.”

“Yeah, that asshole will find something to gig us on.” Jeff is right, intel is part of our jobs. And since Top took over, we’re not seeing as much as we used to. I think I need to look into that a little deeper.

***

 

At zero seven on one day, Morgan stepped through the door into the operations center for Epsilon Stellar Shipping. Zagros pulled the headset off, unfolded from the command chair in front of the system holo tank, and said, “All quiet over the weekend, but you’re going to be busy today!” He smiled, letting his fangs show. “And the boss is on the rampage over the German again.”

Morgan glanced into the holo tank. “What now?” He only saw one orange track coming from the Centauri Republic.

“Two extra days in the Centauri sector, claimed he had tuning problems with the drive.”

“So whatever scam he was running either took too long, or he had problems collecting?”

Zagros shrugged both sets of shoulders. “No idea.” He grinned again. “But you get to deal with it, and the boss.”

Morgan slipped into the chair and grimaced. “Oh, thank you.” Slipping on the headset, he felt the click as his neural lace connected to the system. He glanced up to see Zagros wave as he headed for the door.

An hour later, he felt a tap on his shoulder and surfaced from his concentration on ship movements and coordination. Looking up, he saw Milagro Chin, ESS owner glaring at him.

Chin snapped, “I want the German gone! No more…never again.”

Morgan nodded. “Gone. Got it, Mr. Chin. I need to coordinate with Stellar Expediters for the Sol emergency shipments, but the German will not get another contract from us.”

Chin straightened and pushed his graying long black hair back over his forehead. “There is issue?”

“Too many ton equivalent units, staggered deliveries, not enough hulls unless we hold to fill. Also, possibly some bulk versus TEU issues. I need to coordinate that with SE’s folks to minimize the holds.”

Chin mumbled, “Sorry I ever stepped off the bridge. Easier…Now, too many…” He shook his head and added, “Do what you need.” Puffing out his chest, he strutted out of operations, leaving Morgan and the others looking at each other.

Morgan finally said, “Somebody get SE on the line. Shikary, find somebody to take the German’s load when he gets here.

Moments later, Shikary said, “SE for you, Morgan. I will work on the German’s cargo.”

He touched his headset and said, “Morgan Diederik ESS. To whom am I…”

Laughter interrupted his words. “Morgan, so official today. Are you still playing soldier?”

Shaking his head, he saw the woman on the other end of the comm. “No, Kirsten, I’m working.” Long glossy black hair, laughing green eyes, petite, with a beautiful smile. He made his voice severe, “And so should you be! We have…issues we need to work out.”

“Oh, we do, do we?”

He could almost see her eyebrow arching as she said it, and he chuckled. “Not those issues. I’ve got hull problems with the emergency shipments to Sol.”

A half hour later, they’d worked out enough compromises that only two ships would have to wait twelve to eighteen hours between unloading and loading to get everything on the way and meet the delivery schedule. He pushed the revisions to the tank, copied Mr. Chin, and finished the rest of the normal coordination issues with the ships, cargoes, destinations that had piled up.

By nineteen, he was yawning and ready to call it a day when Zagros strolled back in. “Nothing hot. The German knows he’s gone. Chin commed him directly. As far as we know, nobody from Centauri is after him.”

Zagros laughed. “Good! The Sol shipments?”

“Sorted. Earth’s atmosphere is finally responding to the terraformer’s attempts to raise the temperature and get them out of the incipient ice age. These shipments were mostly GMO’ed food stuffs that will grow in colder temperatures, so we had a bulk versus weight issue.”

Zagros cocked shoulders on one side. “So, loading issues, yes?”

Morgan laughed. “Not really, your folks huddled up, set up a line, and hand loaded the sprouts into the shipboard racks quicker than any machines could have done.”

The rest of the week passed quietly, or as quietly as it could with Mr. Chin for a boss. By five day, Morgan was ready for some relaxation, after effectively a dozen days in a row of work. Jeff had messaged him that the gang was going to be at Taverna at twenty, so he ran by his two bedroom flat, quickly showered, and changed into what he thought of as ‘business casual’.

A dark gray shirt over deep blue pants, sliding his stinger pistol around to the four o’clock position as he loaded his pockets with what was jokingly referred to as pocket lint. His ID chit, credit chits, and his micro comm minimized the bulk as he slid his earbuds in, knowing the Taverna would be noisy. The last thing he did was to pop two anti-hol tabs. Huh, this new version tastes like peppermint.

An autocar ride later, he stepped into the wall of noise that was the Taverna on a five day night, and chuckled. “Oh, it’s going to be one of those nights.” Stopping by the bar, he grabbed a beer and peered into the back of the Taverna. Seeing a hand waving, he made his way to the back corner furthest from the stage and saw the rest of the gang had taken over two booths and a table.

He looked but didn’t see Kirsten and bit his lip as Jeff got up. “She’s here, just in the little girl’s room with Lissa and Rusico.” Jeff pointed to the booth on the left. “That one is ours. Back to the wall. This week has sucked and I’m gonna tie one on!”

Morgan cocked his head. “What happened?”

Jeff growled, “Politics and bullshit. We were upgrading the official city net, and the comptroller didn’t want her precious stuff touched by us unclean tech types.”

Snorting, Morgan said, “I’ll bet I know how that ended!”

Jeff shook his head. “Still hasn’t. She unplugged her entire division from the net!” He grimaced. “And refuses to reconnect it. We can’t do shit until it’s back online, but my bosses wanted everything done by close of business today. Needless to say, that didn’t happen—”

The three ladies came back, interrupting Jeff’s tirade, with Kirsten, in a dark gray shift, brushing his lips and she slipped her arms around him. “Glad you made it. I was wondering, it’s been almost two weeks.”

He murmured, “You knew I had duty last weekend, and we never have time to meet up during the week.” He kissed her soundly, to applause from Jeff, Lissa, and Rusico, who squealed and reached out to grab a man walking by.

Jeff and Lissa, both of them dressed in blue outfits, slipped back into the booth and Morgan and Kirsten sat down, with all of them watching Rusico. Redheads and their green dresses… She turned, pulling him around, and said, “Hey, this is Tomas, he works with me at the hospital.”

The muscular dark haired man ducked his head. “I…well, I used to be a nurse, but now I’m a radiologist.” He smiled at Rusico. “Tomas Howard.”

Rusico laughed. “Doctor Tomas Howard. And he’s a good one!” She hugged him possessively. “And we miss your humor and lifting ability.”

Tomas shook his head. “That is why you really liked me. I could lift the patients.”

As the night wore on, the conversations ran, as always, in random directions, until Tomas mentioned that he was also a reservist and told them a story from the past weekend. “It was really odd, we were getting ready to pack up when the top kick from…three twenty fourth, I think, came in and talked to Top Bedford about how he was going to get rid of a couple of malingerers he had. He mentioned they’d been stuck out on a hide for two days, and didn’t do anything, so he was starting a documentation trail to…”

Morgan glanced at Jeff and saw his face go blank. Yeah, he’s talking about us. What the hell? Documenting that we did nothing? Hell, that asshole put us out there. Now I wonder if that’s why we’re not seeing all the intel feeds all of a sudden. I need to get home for a weekend. Morgan made a hand signal to Jeff to be quiet, and sat back as Tomas finished his story. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kirsten cock her head at him, just as the band leader said, “Anybody want to hear Torch?”

Kirsten groaned. “Not tonight. Please, not tonight. I want—”

Her plaint was interrupted by the crowd chanting, “Torch, Torch, Torch.”

Morgan chuckled as he got up. “Your fans await, my dear.” He held out his hand to her to help her out of the booth, but she slapped it away.

She got up and hissed in his ear, “You’re going to pay for that, Morgan Diederik! She stalked toward the bandstand, shaking her head ruefully, even as she waved to the chanting crowd.

Morgan sat back with a smile, knowing what was coming as Tomas turned to the bandstand. “What is going on? Torch?”

Lissa smiled. “You’ve never been here when she sings, have you?” Tomas shook his head, and she continued, “You are in for a treat! Kirsten underwent operatic training, graduated with a dual degree in music and math, and can sing anything!”

Tomas asked, “Why do they call her Torch?”

Rusico snorted. “She specialized in ancient music. Sad, romantic, lost love, things like that. And she sang in three operas her senior year. Aida, Tristan and Isolde, and…”

Lissa said, “Oh, oh, and The Merry Widow!”

Tomas’ reply was interrupted by the band starting up with an old song, and Kirsten’s voice ringing out over the entire bar.

A half hour later, Jeff poked Morgan, “You hear what she’s singing? Losing that loving feeling? Man, you better do something about that.”

Morgan nodded. “I know, I know. It’s…complicated.”

“Well, you better uncomplicate it before she walks away. Lissa says she’s not happy.”

Blowing out a breath, Morgan nodded. “Soon.” I need to go home next weekend. And I need to buy a present for Marie for graduating from her residence program. Morgan figured it was close to the end of the band’s set, and headed for the bar, knowing Kirsten would want a drink.

Kirsten came back to the table and slipped into the booth. “I need a drink! Gah, I sounded like crap!”

Morgan slid the drink in front of her and said, “No, you didn’t! You sounded great as always!”

“Did not!” She tossed off half the drink and shuddered. “I’m gonna have words with Tris over his music choices! I swear, he cannot, cannot stay on tempo on the ballads!”

Tomas slowly clapped. “I…have never heard such music, and your voice!”

Kirsten nodded. “It’s old stuff, from the nineteenth and twentieth centuries. Very few know it anymore.” She chuckled. “As far as the voice, it’s all about projection.”

Lissa snorted. “And you have perfect pitch, bitch! Remember, I was in the same damned classes with you!”

Kirsten laughed. “Oh Lissa, you are…”

“Not as good as you, which is why I was always the second singer!”

The two of them chorused, “But we had funnnn!” And collapsed laughing as they toasted glasses.

Morgan and Jeff just shook their heads and didn’t bother responding, knowing it was safer to keep their mouths shut.

A few minutes later, Kirsten leaned over and whispered, “Can we leave, please? I…don’t want to sing anymore tonight.”

Six day morning, Morgan watched as Kirsten slipped his shirt on before she left the bedroom, humming a popular song. I need to just give her the ring and get it over with. She knows I love her, and I’m pretty sure she loves me. But…the whole family thing…I gotta go talk to mom and dad before I go any further.

Seemingly moments later, Kirsten padded back into the bedroom, two cups of coffee in her hands. He stretched, and both felt and heard his back pop as she sat his cup on the nightstand next to the bed. “Here you go, sleepyhead. Coffee, black, strong, and hot. And I get the shower first!” She grinned as she set her cup down, stripped off his shirt, and dashed for the fresher.

Morgan hitched himself up and leaned against the headboard, slowly sipping the coffee, and pondering what he should do next. He glanced at the nightstand where the ring sat in the top drawer, temping him to propose today. I…gotta talk to the folks.

A little humor…

Sigh…

I tried to catch some fog.  I mist.

·  When chemists die, they barium.

·  Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

·  A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is
now a seasoned veteran.

·  I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid.  He says he can stop any time.

·  How does Moses make his tea?  Hebrews it.

·  I stayed up all night to see where the sun went.  Then it dawned on me.

·  This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club,
but I’d never met herbivore.

·  I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.  I can’t put it down.

·  I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words .

·  They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

·  This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

·  I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

·  A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils?

·  When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

·  What does a clock do when it’s hungry?  It goes back four seconds..

·  I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

·  Broken pencils are pointless.

·  What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.

·  England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

·  I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

·  I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

·  All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.

·  I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

·  Velcro – what a rip off!

·  Cartoonist found dead in home.  Details are sketchy.

+++++++++

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned…couldn’t concentrate.

Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the ax.

After that I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn’t suited for it …mainly because it was a so-so job.

Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

Then I tried to be a chef — figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

I attempted to be a deli worker, but any way I sliced it, I couldn’t cut the mustard.

My best job was being a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

I studied a long time to become a doctor, but I didn’t have any patience.

Next was a job in a shoe factory; I tried but I just didn’t fit in.

I became a professional fisherman, but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company, but the work was just too draining.

So then I got a job in a workout center, but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian until I realized there was no future in it.

My last job was working at Starbucks, but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

I tried self-employment but I couldn’t get along with the boss.

Book promo…

First up is Peter Nealan with a new series, Edge of the Imperium, Spheres of Influence

As always, click on the cover for the Amazon link!

The blurb-

A“Peacekeeping”Mission That Might Be Anything But

Lieutenant Bannon and his phalanx of Corvanite warriors have already seen some of the worst that the irregular war between the reptilian otuchans and the human latecomers can offer.

Or so they think.

First Sergeant Draven, trying to hold his company of Zolarian citizen soldiers together, has been on the desolate planet of Zhogalgan longer than Bannon. He’s seen even more.

Yet while they are both there as peacekeepers, they are not there to help each other.

Spheres of influence and empires clash, on a dry, harsh world that might become the flashpoint in an interstellar war!

Next is Pam Uphoff with a new story in her Chronicles of the Fall series, Best Enemies

The blurb-

Hayden Jaeger, youngest son of the Chairman of the Council and Ambrose Vinogradov, the youngest son of the Founder, were thrown together by random chance as they were assigned to be dorm mate at the University. It was not an instant friendship.

300 years before the fall of the Troystvennyy Soyuz, the foundations of a secret society are about to be laid down . . .

Last but not least, Raconteur Press is out with a new anthology, Steam Rising

The blurb-

Steampunk. It’s not just a genre, it is science fiction in its purest form. In this collection, you will read of the ways that technology could both help and harm mankind. Steam power took a special kind of bravery to use and master, and the people who live in a steam-powered world adjust to that need: engineers, inventors, tinkerers and experimentalists of every kind and every manner imaginable.

Within, you will meet clockmakers and war-widows, steamship captains and airship pilots; you will see wailing engines race and clanking automata strut. Hurry on! The engineer is feeding the coal, and says she’s raring to go.

See that red lever over there? Grip ‘er tight, and heave forward the throttle…