A little humor…

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife.

She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk. She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew a lot about ranching. For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher’s widow said to the hired hand “You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels”.

The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o’clock came, however, and he didn’t return.

Two o’clock and no hired hand.

Finally, he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher’s widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

“Unbutton my blouse and take it off” she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed.

“Now take off my boots”

He did as she asked, ever so slowly.

“Now take off my socks”.

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

“Now take off my skirt”.

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

“Now take off my bra”. Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said “If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you’re fired”.

And from the other side of the pond…

The local priest rang up his oppo in the Church of England asking him for a favour.

“I’m supposed to hear confessions in half an hour but something unexpected has come up and I have to be the other side of the diocese by 2 o’clock. Will you take over from me here?” asked the priest. “What! but I’ve never done it before”. “It’s quite straight forward” said the priest “Sit in with me for half an hour before I go and you’ll soon get the hang of it”.

So the vicar agrees and is soon hidden away within earshot of the confessional. The first person to enter is a woman.

“Father, I have sinned”. “What have you done my child?” “I have been unfaithful”. “How many times have you been unfaithful?” “Four times Father and I am truly sorry”. “Very well, Put £2 in the box and say 10 Hail Mary’s and you’ll be absolved”.

Not long after another woman comes in.

“Father, I have sinned”. “What have you done my child?” “I have slept with a married man”. “How many times?” “Twice”. “Then put £1 in the box, say 5 Hail Mary’s and you’ll be absolved”.

Moments later the priest whispered to the vicar “You see how it works? Take over from me now, I have to go”.

So the vicar seated himself comfortably in the confessional and immediately a woman sat down on the other side.

“Father, I have sinned” she said. “What have you done, my child?” “I have committed adultery”. “How many times?” “Only once, Father”. “Well, you’d better go back and do it again”.

“What! You want me to do it again?” “Yes, it’s two for £1 here!”

Snerk…

The perfect answer to what I did in the Navy…

While flying in the Navy, we did some of the stuff we did. We didn’t do the other stuff we did because if we did do it, it was secret. So we didn’t do it. Even though we did, but not really.
The medals my crew and I didn’t earn for doing what we didn’t do, we did receive, except we didn’t, because we never went where we were and weren’t there when we were, but we did the stuff we didn’t do while we were there not doing it.
As far as the aircraft I was flying on, we didn’t go where we went and didn’t do what we did while not doing it.
So the bottom line is, we weren’t flying on an aircraft I won’t mention, not doing what we did where we weren’t.
There, I hope that clarifies things for you.
Courtesy of my old IFT who might or might not have been on my crew back in the day… 🙂

Snerk…

For my writer friends…

Feel free to share this with your other writer friends…

Well done!!!

The Pulaski County Sheriff’s Office in the southwest corner of Virginia, put this out to ‘update’ the folks on the new laws… They DO have a university there, Radford, and are just down the road from VPI in Blacksburg.

Happy 420 Day to all you Blazers, Smokers, Jokers, and Midnight Tokers! Marijuana laws in Virginia can be described as the old saying goes, “the times, they are a changing,” and starting July 1st, 2021, much will be changed. Please please please do your own research concerning the use, possession, and cultivation of the devil’s lettuce. And by research, I don’t mean asking your uncle Ricky after he has just tapped out a 3 foot tower bong and he is covered in Doritos dust. That would be like going to a gentleman’s club and believing every dancer that says you are their favorite! If you choose to partake in the happy herb, it is your responsibility to know and understand all the laws and the specific dates as they pertain to it.
Now I’m not telling anyone to do this, but if you decide to fire up a big ol’ fattie once the magical date gets here, PCSO would like you to please keep a few things in mind:
• Driving impaired is driving impaired. It doesn’t matter if you are under the influence of firewater or Juanita’s wonders, you can not cruise around in an old Volkswagen van laying down a smoke screen with fifty eleven of your friends inside trying to see who can laugh the longest at the shopping cart that somebody put big googley eyes on.
• Public use of the green goblin is still a no go. Please don’t think it’s a good idea to torch up a handful of giggle weed in the middle of Sunday School, because it’s not. Even if public consumption wasn’t against the law, you would still need to worry about the church lady who carries a big wooden spoon in her pocketbook for occasions such as this.
• Please remember that the law for cultivation of puffer plants allows 4 PLANTS PER HOUSEHOLD. You can’t pretend you’re living up the holler down Copperhead Road and have the back 40 acres sprouting stalks like you’re Johnny Appleseed.
• Please be sure to know exactly where your property lines are if you decide to plant your very own Aunt Mary seeds. If you have to ask why this is essential……….please don’t grow your own.
• Also, and this is very important, be careful as to which product you consume, because not everyone has your best interest at heart. There are many different types of marijuana out there and it can be laced with everything from methamphetamine to angel dust, and these my friends, can and will kill you. Please know the signs of what an overdose looks like and call 911 immediately if someone needs help.
And before anyone gets all fired up thinking that PCSO is promoting the use of the righteous bush, we ain’t. We’re just trying our best to keep our community safe and informed. If a person decides to wake and bake legally while they are blasting Hitch a Ride by Boston without disturbing their neighbors, that’s like totally their choice dude. We just want everyone to be safe and go home to their families and dogs. And unicorns. And cats. And fish. And lizards. And stamp collections. And Dale Earnhardt memorabilia.
Call your mom.
Well done to the SO! Humor and facts, and some references only the old farts will get… LOL

TBT…

Finally found a pic of an actual Woolworth’s lunch counter, circa late 1950s!!! That was a real treat for me as a little kid. 🙂

And who spent more time swimming like this than they did in ANY pool?

And who remembers this image???

Now the question is, was it butter or margarine???

Compare…

And contrast…

1992-

On August 19, Deputy DA Lawrence Morrison delivered the opening statement and a week later, the videotape of the beating was shown. The doctors who treated Denny testified, describing his wounds and their efforts to repair them. Next to testify were witnesses of the beating and Denny’s rescuers. The prosecution rested on September 17, 1993. The defense began pleading on September 20, making a case for unpremeditated assault, with Faal challenging the video evidence and portraying Williams as a victim of poverty and racism. In the closing arguments, the defense attorneys claimed that Williams and Watson were being used as scapegoats for the L.A. riots. The prosecution counter-argued that the two had knowingly tried to kill Denny and were not victims.

Williams’ lawyers successfully argued that he had not intended to kill Denny; he was found not guilty of attempted murder, assault, and aggravated mayhem, and convicted of four misdemeanors and simple mayhem, while Watson was convicted of a single misdemeanor assault charge.

Denny got nothing from the city for their negligence and refusal to respond. Had it not been for passers by that knew how to drive his rig, he probably would have died in the street.

Yesterday… Chauvin- Guilty, guilty, guilty based on video evidence… And all they talk about is accountability. And Xiden called the family to ‘congratulate’ them… They also got something in the neighborhood of $14M from a gofundme, and $27M from the city.

In other news, if you are a conservative blogger and on BLOGGER, you might want to make sure you have your blog backed up.

Mr. G, at My Daily Kona was taken down on Monday, and he found out the ‘reason’ was that he was accused of ‘spamming’ with his blog. He’s going to go through the appeals process, but said it may take a couple of weeks.

Can we say…

Gah, out of pocket and of course the post didn’t go…

AND he’s now been found guilty. The question is, will there be rioting tonight???

Mistrial???

It appears that Maxine Waters may have stuck her foot down her throat again… The jury in the Chauvin trial is apparently NOT sequestered, so they are seeing the news reports.

“And now that we have [a] U.S. representative … threatening acts of violence in relation to this specific case, it’s it’s mind boggling…,” Attorney Eric Nelson said, as he attempted to argue that the jury may have been unduly influenced by external factors.

Full article, HERE.

Another article

On Saturday night, California Congresswoman Maxine Waters surfaced in Brooklyn Center, Minnesota. She told a crowd of demonstrators “we’ve got to stay in the streets” and urged the crowd—which had already turned violent on multiple nights last week—to “get more active, more confrontational.”

And video of her HERE.  Of course Granny Boxwine shays… “Iz all good, hic… She didn’t do…hic…nuffin”

Patriot’s Day!!!

While most states don’t celebrate it, today, April 19 is Patriot’s Day, commemorating the 246th anniversary of the opening battles of the American Revolution at Lexington and Concord.

This was the start of what became America!

History.com has a nice write up on it HERE.  Take a moment to remember those who lay down their lives for the freedoms we enjoy today…

Morning world!!!

We are winding down the last day of Foolzcon this morning. And my butt is dragging… Sigh

we are once again fighting the battle with the coffee pot and losing, but we’re making it work 🙂 seems seems like everybody has had fun, which was the purpose of the whole damn thing. No panels just folks actually able to sit around and BS, but it’s funny to watch the kids running screaming around the building and out in the field and having fun and working themselves out unlike what They have to do that icon which is go sit in a room.

So, normal blogging will resume tomorrow morning, so go to the folks on the side bar they are much better than I am at this.

First Colors at the WWI Memorial!!!

A bit long, but worth watching if you had a family member serve in WWI. Fast forward to 29.45 to the actual start of the presentation. A number of folks/organizations did a butt ton of work to make this happen in less that ten years!

May they rest in peace.