We are living in an alternate universe from what I grew up in…
If a mentally-ill dude pretends to be a woman, you are required to pretend with him.
It’s un-American for the census to count how many Americans are in America.
Russians influencing our elections are bad, but Mexicans voting in our elections are good.
It was cool for Joe Biden to blackmail the President of Ukraine, but it’s an impeachable offense if Donald Trump inquires about it.
Twenty is too young to drink a beer, but eighteen is old enough to vote.
It’s wrong to steal, but it’s cool to demand that the government steal for you.
Sexualizing children is bad, but 11-year-old drag queens are good.
Illegals aren’t required to show ID, but citizens can’t buy cough medicine without it.
It’s okay for Iran to have nukes, but duck hunters should turn in their shotguns.
Citizens are fined if they don’t buy their own health insurance, and then they are forced to buy it for illegals.
People who have never owned slaves should pay slavery reparations to people who have never been slaves.
Inflammatory rhetoric is outrageous, but harassing people in restaurants is virtuous.
People who have never been to college should pay the debts of college students who took out huge loans for useless degrees.
Immigrants with tuberculosis and polio are welcome, but you’d better be able to prove your dog is vaccinated.
Irish doctors and German engineers who want to immigrate must go through a rigorous vetting process, but any illiterate Central-American gang-banger who jumps the southern fence is welcome.
We demand that the government be in control of our health care, but then we are outraged when the government makes our health care decisions.
$5 billion for border security is too expensive, but $1.5 trillion for “free” health care for illegals is not.
Men are evil misogynists, and a hooker named Stormy Daniels is a national treasure.
If you cheat to get into college you go to prison, but if you cheat to get into the country you go to college for free.
Politicians who say that the President is not above the law put illegal immigrants above the law.
Kids can’t bring peanut butter to school, but they can bring measles.
People who say there is no such thing as gender are demanding a female President.
It’s terrible when the President says that Puerto Rico’s politicians are corrupt, but it’s wonderful when Puerto Rico’s politicians are kicked out of office for corruption.
Illegals don’t pay taxes, but they get tax refunds.
We are $22 trillion dollars in debt, but we should throw money at every perceived problem like drunken sailors.
We see other countries going Socialist and collapsing, and it seems like a great plan to us.
We demand high minimum wages for unskilled labor, and we demand unlimited illegal immigration of people who will work for peanuts.
Voter suppression is bad, but not allowing the President to be on the ballot is good.
Fourth-of-July parades are bad, but parades of women dressed as vaginas are good.
Some people are held responsible for things that happened before they were born, and other people are not held responsible for what they are doing right now.
Am I missing any?