I had a nice little rant all ready to go, and I figured why bother… Others are covering all the BS going on much better than I, so how about some ‘humor’…
Short Sarcastic Letters!!!
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely,
Logic
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about the global warming.
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Dear Yahoo,
I’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
Sincerely,
Google
Dear 2010,
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WHAT happened?!
Sincerely,
1985
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely,
Unimpressed
Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,
Please lknvfdmv.xvn.
Sincerely,
Stevie Wonder
Dear Nickleback,
That’s enough.
Sincerely,
The World
Dear Scissors,
I feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely,
Sarah Palin
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
Sincerely,
Parents Everywhere
Dear Batman,
What was your power again?
Sincerely, Superman
Dear Customers,
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely,
Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Global Warming,
You’re the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely,
Al Gore
Dear Mr. Gump
What are you talking about? There’s a little diagram on the lid that tells you EXACTLY what you’re gonna get….
Sincerely,
Jenny
Dear Haiti/Japan
Is it too early to ask what’s shakin’?
Sincerely,
Seriously Going To Hell
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Dear iPhone,
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You piece of shut.
Sincerely,
Every iPhone User
Dear Trash,
At least you get picked up…
Sincerely,
The Girls of Jersey Shore
Dear Human,
It’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Sincerely,
Elephant
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there’s only room for one fake doctor in this world and I was here first.
Sincerely,
Dr. Pepper
Fork! These are funny!
Funny stuff and +1 on the Nickelback! Yes, I am at school but the students don’t know what I am typing!
WoW…lmao!
Thanks for the giggles, Warty One. 😉
Back in the day (before fax, let alone internet) a memo from a customer.
RE: F^&k you. Strong letter to follow.
Those is good! 😀
hehehee thanks 🙂
needed it after coming back to work after 5 days off ….
Love ’em.
I heard one of these with a slight variation.
Dear Icebergs,
Sorry to hear about global warming.
Ain’t karma a bitch?
Sincerely,
The Titanic
Am I a bad person because the one about Japan and Haiti made me giggle like a fiend?
Glad y’all enjoyed em… Trust me it was a LOT better than the post I started…
After my day at work, I needed a good laugh!
HA!
UN PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US PRESIDENT TIM KALEMKARIAN, US SENATE TIM KALEMKARIAN, US HOUSE TIM KALEMKARIAN: BEST MAJOR CANDIDATE.
Dear World,
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Sincerely,
The Mayans
Funny, that is pretty much what our Mayan/Mexican guide told us when my wife and I visited Mayan ruins in December.
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