Happy HOWLoween…

It’s Halloween, it’s cold, it’s raining, and we’ve got WAY too much candy… Sigh…

So you get humor…

  1. Why don’t witches like to ride their brooms when they’re angry?
  2. They’re afraid of flying off the handle!


  1. Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
  2. No body


  1. What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
  2. Bone appetit !


  1. Where do baby ghosts go during the day?
  2. Dayscare centers


  1. Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
  2. His ghoul friend.


  1. What monster flies his kite in a rain storm?
  2. Benjamin Frankenstein


  1. What do ghosts serve for dessert?
  2. Ice Scream


  1. What’s a monster’s favorite play?
  2. Romeo and Ghouliet


  1. What do witches put on their hair?
  2. Scare spray


  1. What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
  2. Bamboo


  1. What’s a haunted chicken?
  2. A poultry-geist


  1. How can you tell when you’re in bed with Count Dracula?-
  2. He has a big D on his pajamas


  1. What’s pink and gray and wrinkly and old and belongs to

Grandpa monster?

  1. Grandma monster


  1. Why did the monster eat a light bulb?
  2. Because he was in need of a light snack


  1. Why are most monsters covered in wrinkles?-
  2. Have you ever tried to iron a monster?


  1. What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
  2. Boo boos


  1. Why couldn’t Dracula’s wife get to sleep?
  2. Because of his coffin


  1. Why do mummies make excellent spies?
  2. They’re good at keeping things under wraps


  1. What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
  2. Ghost-Toasties


  1. What kind of monster is safe to put in the washing machine?
  2. A wash and wear wolf


  1. What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
  2. They boo-kle their seatbelts


  1. What has webbed feet, feathers, fangs and goes quack-quack?
  2. Count Duckula


  1. What do you call a person who puts poison in a person’s corn


  1. A cereal killer


  1. Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?
  2. Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be



  1. Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party?
  2. Because everyone was a goblin!


  1. How did the ghost patch his sheet?
  2. With a pumpkin patch.


  1. What is as sharp as a vampires fang?
  2. His other fang.


Q: What do the birds sing on Halloween?

A: Twick or Tweet


Q: What did the little ghost have in his rock collection?

A: Tombstones


Q: Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day?

A: It’s good for the bones


Q: What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween?

A: White Pillowcases


Q: What do you get when you drop a pumpkin?

A: Squash


Q: Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game?

A: Their bats flew away


Q: What was the witches favorite subject in school?

A: Spelling


Q: What does a vampire fear most?

A: Tooth decay


Q: Where did the vampire open his savings account?

A: At a blood bank


Q: What did the mad scientist eat on Halloween?

A: Frankenfurters with Ketchup


Q: Where do mummies go for a swim?

A: To the dead sea


Q: What is Transylvania?

A: Dracula’s terror-tory


Q: Where does dracula water ski?

A: On Lake Erie


Q: What kind of boat pulls Dracula when he water skis?

A: A blood vessel


Q: What do you get when you divide the diameter of a jack-o-

lantern by it’s circumference?

A: Pumpkin Pi


Q: Why are there fences around cemetaries?

A: Because people are dying to get in.


Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?

A: He didn’t have the guts.


Q: What does a ghost eat for lunch?

A: A BOO-logna sandwich.


Q: How does the silly witch know what time it is?

A: She looks at her witch-watch.


Q: What did the Mommy ghost say to the baby ghost?

A: Don’t spook until your spooken to.


Q: What kind of protozoa likes Halloween?

A: An amoeboo!


Q: Why do ghouls and demons hang out together?

A: Because demons are a ghoul’s best friend!


Q: What happened to the guy who couldn’t keep up payments to his


A: He was repossessed.


Happy HOWLoween… — 15 Comments

  1. *groan* too early for me to get this material. :^)

    Thank you sir.

  2. OK. Here is my Halloween joke.

    A wee young lad wants to be a pirate for Halloween. Through no fault of their own, the family winds up shopping for a costume at the last minute. Everything is picked over, but they finally find one, however it is about three sizes too big. They persevere, and with safety pins, rolling up the sleeves, and stuffing the over-sized hat with paper towels, they make it work . Aharrr-harr, thar be pirates aboard!

    Out they go to trick-or-treat. The young lad has to kind of balance the hat, but he is into being a pirate and having a ball. Soon he comes to a house and a nice lady comes to the door. She plays along and says “Oh my! What fierce pirate captain you are! Where are your buccaneers?”. The young lad stops short, thinks for a moment, then looks up at her and says “Under my buck’in hat, Lady.”.

  3. Amoeboo?

    please, sir, may I have another?


    Apology for the off topic bleg, NFO, but can you drop a few buoys? boilerdoc hasn’t posted in well over a month.

  4. What do an ensign and a zombie have in common?

    Both are searching for Braaaaiinnnnnss.

  5. Arrrrr, ye should walk the plank for those. It’s Halloween, I’m not suppose to be chuckling, ye scurvy rat.

  6. Hi Old NFO;

    Why does Butte, MT airport and Harlowton, MT airport have cemeteries co-located?

    Don’t have to haul the bodies as far for burial.

    Gary W. Anthony
    MSgt, USAF, Ret.

  7. Hey Old NFO;

    If I had a *Groan* button, you would have gotten it , LOL Congratulations on 2 years in the new house.