The perfect answer to what I did in the Navy…

While flying in the Navy, we did some of the stuff we did. We didn’t do the other stuff we did because if we did do it, it was secret. So we didn’t do it. Even though we did, but not really.
The medals my crew and I didn’t earn for doing what we didn’t do, we did receive, except we didn’t, because we never went where we were and weren’t there when we were, but we did the stuff we didn’t do while we were there not doing it.
As far as the aircraft I was flying on, we didn’t go where we went and didn’t do what we did while not doing it.
So the bottom line is, we weren’t flying on an aircraft I won’t mention, not doing what we did where we weren’t.
There, I hope that clarifies things for you.
Courtesy of my old IFT who might or might not have been on my crew back in the day… 🙂


Snerk… — 26 Comments

  1. *grins*

    That’s even better than the other answer I love. “What’d you do in the army?”
    “Paperwork. Lots of paperwork.”
    “Oh, come on…”
    “We had meetings, too.”

  2. yeppers ole jimmeh was my cominch and we werent never oiffcialy shooting at anybody anywhere i was not there anyway. no paper
    no trail.


  3. Sounds like conversations I’ve had with my submariner friends, “We were some place that doesn’t exist doing something that never happened.”

  4. Me, I was in 33 different holes in the ground, and (lemmee see) about 10 times each (average). Two of them are still in the ground (museum sites). Got snowed in once, north of Tucson (6″). Sloooow drive back to base.

  5. And I may or may not have been on a small island somewhere in Alaska, flying on an aircraft that had one black wing.

    Gary W. Anthony
    MSgt, USAF, Ret.
    Old AMT

  6. Understand you perfectly. Like I was never in that Central American country, you can’t prove it, and we weren’t monitoring certain communist rebel groups, nope, I’d NEVER do such a thing.

  7. Ha….you cashed those per diem checks. Follow the money! Ya’ll walked around base with the check sticking out of the flight suit left pocket, with a spork in the left sleeve pencil pocket. Could tag you from a mile away.

  8. “Nice award.”
    “Thanks, came with a good cash award too.”
    “What did you do?”
    “Got a project completed on time.”
    “That’s it?”
    “Well, there were issues.”

  9. “Paperwork, meetings, more paperwork.” That’s enough to make most people shake their heads and wander off.

    Someone you maybe know a little walks by outside a building, quietly mentions that a mutual acquaintance “Fred” said nice work, he’ll buy you a beer next time, and goes off another way. Two years of numbing paperwork get forgotten, because you did good. Official recognitions not nearly as important as the folks you helped.

    Might have happened once or twice, might not, but it’s the best feeling in the world (or so it’s said).

  10. There may or may not be paperwork stating that I didn’t do anything anywhere for an indeterminate amount of time. The funny part is that folks who should know better than to yank on the chain, still do, since we are the nice guys. Idiots

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