The horrible truth behind unregulated marshmallow ranches.
In the winter marshmallows are able to take cover in the snow, but come spring the older ones are sitting ducks for marshmallow hunters that will round them up by the thousands at a time and truck them off to their deaths.
Now that they are fat from gazing all winter, they will be rounded up and indiscriminately slaughtered, sized, bagged and sold in stores.
Some of the younger smaller ones will be disintegrated alive in boiling liquids! Some will be locked away in rooms only to be roasted alive on beds of potatoes or drown in cold semisolid green colored liquid later in the year!
Some are viciously stabbed with sticks held over flames of fire and some left to needlessly die as their lifeless bodies fall helplessly into smoldering fire pits. Sometimes in family units at a time, shoulder to shoulder they go.
Some attempt to escape disguising themselves as ducks or rabbits only to have their heads bitten off by vicious killers.
There MUST be a stop to this carnage!
Remember that golden brown on a graham cracker with a piece of chocolate is the only humane way.
Marshmallows? Really? Everybody knows marshmallows are made in factories from reprocessed packing peanuts.
Let us look at the obvious. These objects are sitting in fields of harvested hay. Harvested hay implies animals that will be eating the harvested hay. The animals are most likely cows. Cows are milked. Milk is turned into cheese.
Thus, an application of Occam’s Razor will show that those objects in the field are most likely giant wheels of cheese that are aging for a little while before being moved into the cheese factory.
Toilet paper farm?
You do realize that someone out there takes this seriously, hell there were people protesting Stephen Spielberg for posing beside a “murdered” dinosaur on the Jurassic park set.
This is funny. Gimme s’mores, I’ll take all the humor I can get.
Save the marshmallows, eat a snickers bar.
Great!
You are as bad a BRIGID!
Now I’m hungry…
🙁
gfa
Last night I dreamed that I ate a 600 lbs marshmallow. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.
no worries… it’ll come back to you…
I enjoyed that! Very funny!
I enjoyed that one. Very funny!
This is absolutely hilarious! I really needed a laugh today. My thanks to all the commentators, but especially Odysseus. I think he nailed it. What a hoot!
I have an airtight prison at the very back of my cupboard with an extended family in it. I think I’m hungry.
LOL…saw some of those hiding in the fields when we were in Minnesota
All- Y’all are just flat twisted…LOL Love it!
Posted from my iPhone.
I know I have some hot cocoa around here someplace…
Suz
🙂
At one point the U.S Department of Agriculture had thought about banning round hay bales. They felt cows couldn’t get a “square meal” out of them!
8^)