Ah… The joys of travel reimbursement…

Better known as why I hate beancounters…

As y’all know, I do a bit of travel for the government, which means I get to routinely submit paperwork, receipts, etc. to try to get the money back I spend doing my job…

This last one, however, has become so ridiculous it is approaching laughable!

To recap, I went to San Diego, CA; Sydney, AUS; Dallas, TX; two places in Japan; and Newport, RI with one night at home before Rhode Island. Today, I get THIS!!!!

From: them
To: me
Subject: Travel Claim of 9 Aug
Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 11:47:51

Your travel claim of 9 Aug has been rejected for the following errors which require correction:

Error in exchange rate for Australia. You claimed .94 per $1 AUS, according to (website) the correct amount is .853 per $1 AUS.

Your hotel rate exceeded the allowable rate of $185A by more than 10% without justification. Correct travel claim to show a maximum of $202A.

Laundry is not an expensible item when on foreign travel, it is considered M&IE. $121.00 disallowed.

Your travel claim indicated you departed Australia on 23 July at 1400 and arrived in Dallas, TX at 1300 on 23 July. This needs to be corrected to reflect actual travel time.

Your train receipt for Japan did not include a detailed cost breakdown or copies of ticket stubs. Please provide same.

Your hotel rate in Yokosuka was within per diem, however you did not include non-availability statement from CBQ, you will be reimbursed at the CBQ rate of $28/day.

Your travel claim indicated you departed Japan on 4 Aug at 1700 and arrived in Dulles at 1600 on 4 Aug. This needs to be corrected to reflect actual travel time.

Expect a minimum 2 week payment delay after refilling due to your claim being rejected.

Sincerely,

beancounter

From: Me

To: Beancounter

CC: VP

CC: CEO

Subj: Travel Claim of 9 Aug

Date: Mon, 20 Aug 2007 13:12:03

Hey #%&*

Listen you SUMBITCH

Dear ASSHOLE

Sirs,

In response to your email above- Somebody needs to learn how to read and also take a course in Geography… I have been over all of these issues with you at least once each in the last three months.

First, I submitted the exchange rate I ACTUALLY RECEIVED (See page 4 of claim that was ignored). That was the published exchange rate at the Sydney XXXXXX Bank on 18 July.

Yes the hotel was over per diem- That was the lowest rate and was approved by both the VP XXXX and the Government COTAR. You have to reimburse me the actual rate. (approval emails page 5 of claim).

The laundry IS reimbursable- It was done in Texas, not Australia OR Japan. How hard is this???

Have you ever heard of the International dateline????? Go look it up, that is why I landed in the states before I took off from Australia and Japan. Lose a day plus 12 or 15 hours depending…

Japanese railways do not give any itinerary other than the physical tickets, WHICH THE MACHINE KEEPS- There is NO #$%*( way to give you a ticket stub if the machine eats it).

Again, you did not read the accompanying paperwork. Email of 5 Jul provided non-avail from CBQ Yoko page 7 of claim.

See above about IDL!!!!

Fine, you want to delay my travel claim, I will delay my upcoming travel until this claim for $6423 is processed… OBTW, I am supposed to be in San Diego 4 Sept, guess I won’t be making that…

R,

Me

Now I’m just waiting for the blowback on this one…


Sigh…

I’m probably getting a complaint filed against me for my language, but what the hell… Idjits are idjits… Guess I’m stoopid, because I keep putting up with this (maybe for not much longer).

This is just living proof the bureaucracy has won- I’m glad this is nothing ‘important’ like bullets or bombs, or food or fuel…

Kicking my soap box back in the corner for now…

Comments

Ah… The joys of travel reimbursement… — 7 Comments

  1. sorry – shouldn’t try and spell before my first cup of coffee. . .

    I believe in the book of Revelations that GovTrip is one of the signs of the apocalypse.

  2. Sigh… You’ve got that right! And I’m stoopid enought to do this 130-150 days a year.
    Don’t feel bad, I kant spel befour my first POT of coffee… 🙂

  3. I am the YN1 for a Navy C-2 detachment that travels all over the world. I just want to say I have not had that good a laugh in a long time. I have had the same issues and battles with paper claims to PSD for years. The good news is it “appears” that DTS makes claims alot easier as I have had 0 kickbacks for items that would have had them screaming…I hope you get to use it soon!