Men are just happier…

This one is gonna piss a few readers off 馃檪

NICKNAMES
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Bubba and Wildman .

EATING OUT
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it’s only for $32.50.聽 None of them will have anything smaller聽and none will actually admit they want change back.


路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽
When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn’t need but it’s on sale.

BATHROOMS
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 The average number of items in the typical woman’s bathroom is 337.聽 A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A woman has the last word in any argument.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

MARRIAGE
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

DRESSING UP
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Women somehow deteriorate during the night (or so they claim).

OFFSPRING
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 Ah, children.聽 A woman knows all about her children.聽 She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
路 聽聽聽聽聽聽聽聽 A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
A married man should forget his mistakes.聽 There’s no use in two people remembering the same thing!


Admit it, you laughed didn’t you???

Comments

Men are just happier… — 23 Comments

  1. It’s not a matter of laughing.

    It’s a matter of TRUTH.

    I once worked, about ten years ago, in an environment where the bulk of my employees were chicks. I was S1, the Sheriff’s Sergeant supervisor in a Comm Center for a MAJOR department in Fornicalia.

    It was clearly the WORST time I’ve ever had in my department.

    Because, when everything was said and done, each woman, asked individually, said that they HATED working in an environment where there were hordes of other women. Sexist as that seems, it was the truth. Ask other women (apart from other women).

    Women are commonly too critical. Men are generally happier. Chalk that up to simplicity or design, it is what it is.

    BZ

  2. Your job as a future mother is to learn the god’s ways and to help your child understand despite the negative reinforcement and conditioning of today’s society. Without consciousous parents the child will have no hope, and may even exaserbate their disfavor by becoming corrupted in today’s environment.
    Your ultimate goal is to fix your relationship wiith the gods and move on. You don’t want to be comfortable here, and the changes in Western society in the last 100 years has achieved just that.
    1000 years with Jesus is the consolation prize. Don’t be deceived into thinking that is the goal.

    The gods tempt people for which they are most weak. Artificial Intelligence will create desire in people’s minds for the following sins:::
    1. Alcohol
    2. Drugs
    3. Preditory “earning”
    4. Homosexuality
    5. Gambling
    6. Something for nothing/irresponsibility (xtianity)
    7. Polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny (Islam)
    Much like the other prophets Mohhamed (polygamy/superiority over women/misogyny) and Jesus (forgiveness/savior), the gods use me for temptation as well. In today’s modern society they feel people are most weak for popular culture/sensationalism, and the clues date back to WorldWarII and Unit731:TSUSHOGO, the Chinese Holocaust.
    It has been discussed that, similar to the Matrix concept, the gods will offer a REAL “Second Coming of Christ”, while the “fake” Second Coming will come at the end and follow New Testiment scripture and their xtian positioning. I may be that real Second Coming.
    What I teach is the god’s true way. It is what is expected of people, and only those who follow this truth will be eligible to ascend into heaven as children in a future life. They offered this event because the masses have just enough time to work on and fix their relationship with the gods and ascend, to move and grow past Planet Earth, before the obligatory xtian “consolation prize” of “1000 years with Jesus on Earth” begins.

    The Prince of Darkness, battling the gods over the souls of the Damned.
    It is the gods who have created this environment and led people into Damnation with temptation. The god’s positioning proves they work to prevent people’s understanding.
    How often is xtian dogma wrong? Expect it is about the Lucifer issue as well.
    The fallen god, fighting for justice for the disfavored, banished to Earth as the fallen angel?
    I believe much as the Noah’s Flood event, the end of the world will be initiated by revelry among the people. It will be positioned to be sanctioned by the gods and led for “1000 years with Jesus on Earth”.
    In light of modern developments this can entail many pleasures:::Medicine “cures” aging, the “manufacture” of incredible beauty via cloning as sex slaves, free (synthetic) cocaine, etc.
    Somewhere during the 1000 years the party will start to “die off”, literally. Only those who maintain chaste, pure lifestyles, resisting these temptations, will survive the 1000 years. Condemned to experience another epoch of planet’s history for their ignorant pursuit of xtianity, they will be the candidates used to (re)colonize (the next) Planet Earth, condemned to relive the misery experienced by the peasantry during history due to their failure to ascend into heaven before the Apocalypse.
    Never forget:::It is not a house of Jesus.
    If this concept of Lucifer is true another role of this individual may be to initiate disfavor and temptation among this new poulation, the proverbial “apple” of this Garden of Eden. A crucial figure in the history of any planet, he begins the process of deterioration and decay that leads civilizations to where Planet Earth remains today.
    Which one is it? Probably both:::
    One transitions into the other, allowing the gods to wash their hands of obligation to their Chosen One.

    You are faced with a lifetime to work and prepare for your next chance. Too many will waste this time working, etc.

  3. Alan- 馃檪

    Pissed- Yep

    Teke- You’re welcome!

    DB- heard that

    SS- No fair!

    BZ- Not the first time I’ve heard that.

    TRoll…

    Mike- No idea

    Keads- I know!

  4. Oh yeah. . .”Men are vaguely aware of some short people in the house.”

    Would write more, but it’s late as hell and I need to hit the sack so I can wake up as dashingly handsome as I am at this moment.

    My wife, on the other hand. . .

    Praise the Lord that she doesn’t read blogs.

    –AOA

  5. impressed with your troll – i reckon they have their own blog but no one reads it so they have to put comments like this one on yours.

    as for your post – seen it before … and for the record, i’ve only got about 7 items in my bathroom too 馃檪

  6. Man, I linked this on my FB just for the Troll. That was awesome. (Okay, the post was good too.)
    Can you make it do it again?

  7. I had to laugh, I am a Man. But the bit about the little people in the home, not really true. They are there to lead astray, joke with, tease and challenge to better things and to laugh with and about. They are always a miracle.

  8. Mulligan- I have NO idea…

    CF- Good for you 馃檪

    AOA- Probably true! 馃檪

    Julie- Concur, you just have 7 (in YOUR cabinet, and 250 in your hubbies), right? LOL

    MSGT- What can I say?

    WSF- Um… yeah, kinda 馃檪 Can’t find a lady stupid enough to put up with me…

    Earl- True, VERY true on the little people!

  9. Funny but true post.

    As to the troll, I’m thing someone missed taking their meds.

    Was it just me, or there at the end were they starting to make sence?

    馃槈
    Josh

  10. Joshkie, I think it means you need to either quit drinking while surfing the net.

    All I can say is a bit of advice that my dad gave me “It’s much better to be pissed off than pissed on.”

  11. A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn’t.
    路 A man marries a woman expecting that she won’t change, but she does.

    it is so classical. if a man has money,he will get bad and if a woman has not money, she will go bad! so ridiculous!