1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE TO HOLD THE VEGETABLES WHILE YOU CHOP.
2. AVOID ARGUMENTS WITH THE FEMALES ABOUT LIFTING THE TOILET SEAT BY USING THE SINK.
3. FOR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE SUFFERERS ~ SIMPLY CUT YOURSELF AND BLEED FOR A FEW MINUTES, THUS REDUCING THE PRESSURE ON YOUR VEINS. REMEMBER TO USE A TIMER.
4. A MOUSE TRAP PLACED ON TOP OF YOUR ALARM CLOCK WILL PREVENT YOU FROM ROLLING OVER AND GOING BACK TO SLEEP AFTER YOU HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON.
5. IF YOU HAVE A BAD COUGH, TAKE A LARGE DOSE OF LAXATIVES. THENΒ YOU’LL BE AFRAID TO COUGH.
6. YOU NEED ONLY TWO TOOLS IN LIFE – WD-40 AND DUCT TAPE. IF ITΒ DOESN’T MOVE AND SHOULD, USE THE WD-40. IF IT SHOULDN’T MOVE AND DOES, USE THE DUCT TAPE.
7. IF YOU CAN’T FIX IT WITH A HAMMER, YOU’VE GOT AN ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.
Bwwahahaha. Fabulous. I need to remember the first one. I have a horrible habit of cutting myself.
Lila- Trust me I’m NOW using that one too π
LOL~Some really Good One’s
Thanks for a good laugh today π
8. Don’t force it. Get a bigger hammer.
So, so, SOOOOO true!
I gave my wife her own bathroom, in OUR master bedroom!! Took my razor, can of shaving cream and bar of soap to the basement me’;s cave shower stall! I save time and pee in the shower! LOL
Remember to use a timer.
Old NFO, I needed a beverage warning before that. Now where are those paper towels?
SS- I try π
WSF- um… that too!
Suz- Glad you like em!
Danny- Heard that!
BP- Sorry! π
2) That’s dumb – pee off the front porch – it’s supposed to keep the deer away.
6) Absolutely true. Being a single female I have proved this one time and time again.
7) But sometimes if you unplug it and pound on it with a hammer you feel better. Ask my last computer.
#4 is actually a useable idea!
I like to let someone else hold my nails as I hammer them in, too. π
Awesome. Made me smile. Just when I thought one was funny, the next was even funnier.
Re: #6 and #7 whoever came up with these must know my brother. Where I come from no matter what the project you always gotta have your BFH nearby.
A point. If it moves and should not use duct tape. If it does not move and should, use WD-40 and a hammer!
Thanks for the laugh.
I am going to post these also.
In some of the older T-series Russian tanks, a large sledge with cut-off handle was issued to the drivers in order to get them into gear.
BZ
Remember, NOTHING is Sailor Proof! ; )
PH/Andy- See, I AM good for something π
Snigs- Not a bad idea π
45- Good!
Poppa- BFH is good, along with BFW π
Keads- True…
Fuzzy- Feel Free!
BZ- Heard that ‘thought’ it was a joke.
Les- Yeah, yeah… I know π
On the last, the solution is to get a bigger hammer. It always worked for my dad. He did a bit of blacksmithing and said nothing would fix things better than using a bigger hammer.
Crucis- Bigger hammer or a bigger wrench π I have a 3 foot long pipe wrench that works wonders >>>LOL
Now THAT’S funny right there!
lol … i like #4 … thanks!
OJD- You’re welcome!
Julie- Yep!
Simple is better in these cases.
ADM- Agreed!
Quite effective material, thank you for the article.