Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong. Ah yes, the DOH moment…

I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

There is great need for a sarcasm font.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet? Wad the sumbitch up and throw it in the BACK of the drawer…

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood. It’s even MORE interesting when it’s not the route you actually take (when there is ONLY one actual exit).

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died. Or not, depends on your level of paranoia…

I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories. But ONLY if you survive…

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day. Usually about 0830.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blu Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again. Not gonna, hell I never bought Blu Ray…

I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to. Still better than Word Perfect!

I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call. Yep, I ‘know’ a few folks are doing that… LOL

I think the freezer deserves a light as well. Never thought about that one…

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay. Oh yeah, they ‘might’ end up at Kay’s but they didn’t “start” there…

I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option. Yep…

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger. Boredom wins 3 out of 5!

How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said? Eh???

I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters! Even better when you get two Semis that are pissed at the traffic and block BOTH lanes! 🙂

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever. Or until the stain becomes so obvious even YOU notice it…

Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is. That means it’s time to change the battery!

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time! I can do it from 7 feet… 🙂

The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974.That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important. It’s hockey, what do you expect… sigh…