For all those ‘aviators’ out there…

You May Be A Redneck Pilot If…

… your stall warning plays “Dixie.”
… your cross-country flight plan uses flea markets as check points.
… you think sectionals charts should show trailer parks.
… you’ve ever used moonshine as av-gas.
… you have mud flaps on your wheel pants.
… you think GPS stands for Going Perfectly Straight.
… your toothpick keeps poking your mike.
… you constantly confuse Beechcraft with Beechnut.
… you have a black airplane with a big #3 on the side.
… you’ve just taxied around the airport drinking beer.
… you use a Purina feed bag for a windsock.
… you fuel your wizzbang 140 from a Mason jar.
… you wouldn’t be caught dead flyin’ a Grumman “Yankee.”
… you refer to flying in formation as “We got ourselves a convoy!”
… there is a sign on the side of your aircraft advertising your septic tank service.
… you have ever incorporated sheetrock into the repair of your aircraft.
… you have ever responded to ATC with the phrase “That’s a big 10-4!”
… you have ever used a relief tube as a spitoon.
… you glance down at your belt buckle to remember your N number.
… you have ever tried to impress your girlfriend by buzzing her double-wide.
… the preprinted portion of your weight and balance contains “case of Bud”.
… your Go/no-go checklist includes The words “Skoal” or “Redman”

Not that “I” know anybody that would do that… Nope… 🙂

Comments

For all those ‘aviators’ out there… — 14 Comments

  1. You mean that the relief tube doesn’t double as a spittoon? Since when?

  2. Have never ever used a Purina feed sack for a wind sock, the Bar Ale feed sack one is so much classier. Just say’n… Dammit

  3. GPS: Going Perfectly Straight… HA! Everyone knows it means “Goin’ Purty Straight”

  4. Awesome…
    Takes me back.
    Waaay back.
    Working at MTH when I was 17 and 18…
    We used to deviate our morning milk runs* offshore to spot weedlines for the local charter captains.

    (We had a daily early AM run from MTH-EYW-FD51-MTH-KYL-MTH to drop off daily banking paperwork, and a similar run in the PM… It was a great way to build qualification hours…)

    Good times, good times.

  5. CP- NO comment… But we didn’t have flea markets, GPS or Grumman Yankees… 🙂

    LL- LOL

    WSF- Voice of experience??? 😀

    Ed- GOOOOD!

    Murph- Yeah, right… 🙂

    Brighid- LOL, sure!

    Aejim- As much as ‘you’ play with stuff, I can believe that… LOL

    TBG- Heh, try TXK-DAL-HOU-TXK in a D-18, nothing but cows and scrub unless you were in East Texas, then it was pines with NO place to land…

    • East Tx with no place to land…
      I guess water=better place to land than scrub woods…

      I had all my “emergency” locations lined up…
      We did all our runs with a 172 or a Cherokee, so landing options were fairly open…
      Lots of straight roads in Matecumbe, Long Key, Big Pine and the Lower Keys.
      Never needed ’em, but you always have to have a plan, eh?
      Kinda miss it…

  6. … wings have a Confederate flag on the upper surface.
    … no weapon hard-points but a rifle rack.
    … you have a dawg in the back seat. OH! Hey Murphy!
    … you use cinder blocks for tie-down points.
    … oil stains from engine bay; chew stains from cockpit.
    … avionics stack includes a CB.

  7. Other’s “You might be a Redneck Pilot if”:

    IFR = “I Follow Roads”

    You’ve ever told the Tower, “Hey, y’all, watch this!” (Bonus points if the tower replied, “You ain’t gotta hair on yo’ ass if’n you don’t!”)

    You’ve ever bullseyed muskrats with a Winchester thuty-thuty, or a 12 gauge, while flying below treetop.

    You’ve ever had to clear corncobs out of your landing gear more than twice.

    You have deer whistles on your Piper.

    You have a Piper up on blocks out back.