Happy HOWLoween…

By special request…

Really bad Halloween puns…


What do baby ghosts wear on Halloween? White Pillowcases.
Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers? No, they eat the fingers separately.
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? [This one is so bad that it’s actually quite good!] Bootiques.
What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes? A cereal killer.
What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite.
What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire? A fur coat that fangs around your neck.
What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich.
What do you call a witch in the desert? A sandwitch.
What does a vampire fear the most? Tooth decay.
Where did the vampire open his savings account? At a blood bank.
Who do vampires buy their cookies from? The Ghoul Scouts
What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost? Bamboo.
What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash [!].
What do you call a fat Jack-O-Lantern? A plumpkin.
What do you call a ghost with a broken leg? A hoblin goblin.
Why wasn’t there any food left after the monster party? Because everyone was a goblin!
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
Why should a skeleton drink 10 glasses of milk a day? It’s good for the bones.Why don’t skeletons like parties? They have no body to dance with.
Why did the witches’ team lose the baseball game? Their bats flew away.
How does a witch tell time? She looks at her witch watch.
What was the witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling.
What’s the problem with twin witches? You never know which witch is which.
What do ghosts serve for dessert? Ice Scream.
What did the mommy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until you’re spooken to.
What did the mummy say to the detective? Let’s wrap this case up.
What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving? Fasten your sheet belts.
What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor? Lemon-slime.
What’s a monster’s favorite play? Romeo and Ghouliet. [See?–they’re much more romantic than you’d guess.]
What’s a haunted chicken? A poultry-geist.

And what do you get when you goose a ghost? An hand full of sheet.


Happy HOWLoween… — 13 Comments

  1. Some of those were actually pretty good. I like MSgt Burks pumpkin idea, too. Try not to get a sugar high tonight, OldNFO.

    And I’m gonna post this on FB, too. Thanks!

  2. *groans from the overload of puns* They are soo corny I might post on my rairly used facebook account. Thanks Old NFO

  3. CP- Feel Free!!!

    Bob- You’re welcome! 🙂

    WSF- WHO me??? 😀

    Rev- Tank you, tank you…

    BP- LOL

    Opus- Trying Lady!

  4. What kind of dog does a Vampire have? ( a bloodhound)..lol

    My kids told me that one. Happy Howloween to you too!

  5. Ok, did not see any of these jokes: What did one casket say to the other casket? Is that you coughing?
    Why do vampires only drink blood? Because root beer makes them burp.
    Why don’t vampires attack clowns. Because they taste funny.
    thank you, thank you very much. I am here all year long.