You might be in Naval Aviation if…

You’ve ever worked at, or done at least 1 or more of the following things:

Slept on the concrete under a wing.

Wished your jet would drop a Mk 84 on Ho Chi Min’s/Saddam Hussein’s house.

Ever said, “Oh yes sir, it’s supposed to look like that.”

Drank water from a scuttle-butt that had more JP than H2O.

You know what a pointy head is.

You consider ‘moly b’ fingerprints on food an “acquired taste.”

Have sucked LOX to cure a hangover.

You know what JP tastes like.

Used a black grease pencil to fix an overworn tire.

You have a better benchstock in the pockets of your coveralls than the squadron can supply you.

Used a piece of safety wire as a toothpick.

You’ve ever had to say, “my boots are still black!”

Someone has tackled you right before you cuss out the squadron Ops Boss over the radio.

You refer to a pilot as a “control stick actuator.”

You’ve ever been duct taped to a tow bar and doused with PET and sand.

You’ve ever been told to go get “some propwash and a yard of flightline from supply.”

Worked a 14 hour shift on a jet that isn’t flying the next day.

You’ve ever said “as long as it’ll starts every other try you’ll be fine sir.”

You’ve ever considered a traditional Thanksgiving dinner to be a turkey sandwich in one hand and a wrench in the other.

You’ve ever jumped in an intake to get out of the cold.

You’ve ever been told to tow the jets around so they match the board in Maintenance Control.

You’ve ever preflighted in really bad weather only to have Ops cancel after engine start.

You’ve ever been hassled in the Chow Hall for shave/boots/uniform/smell after a 16 hour shift.

You believe your bird has a soul.

You talk to your bird. (In your head still counts)

Your spouse refuses to watch any aviation shows with you.

You’ve ever said, “That nav light burned out after launch.”

You’ve ever used a wheel chock as a hammer.

The only thing you know about any city is where the good bars are.

You know more about your co-workers than your own family.

You don’t know what the inside of the good barracks look like (anywhere).

The refrigerators in your barracks only have beer in them.

Rode on the goose.

When you finish a DET there are enough empty beer cans to build an airplane to fly home on.

You’ve ever looked for pictures of “your” aircraft in aviation books.

You can’t figure out why maintenance officers exist.

You’ve ever been ticked off that they can’t make up their minds on what the MAF’s should look like.

Evaded the fox.

You’ve ever wished the pilot would just say, “Great bird, thanks!”

You are proud that no one on base understands you or thinks you are an animal.

You’ve ever passed gas in the step van in winter just to clear it out.

You relieve yourself more often outdoors than indoors. AND a lot of people other than your mother have seen you do the item above.

You’ve ever worked 7 day 12 hour shifts on DET while admin goes sightseeing for two weeks.

After getting back from the above trip, the admin pukes are getting an award while you are doin’ a seven day on your bird.

Played a lot of Acey Ducey.

You can’t comprehend why everyone doesn’t want to be a airdale

You think everyone who isn’t a airdale is a wimp.

You know what 2 on 5 means.

You can’t figure out why your 2 weeks advance per-diem is gone after 3 days.

You can’t get through a trip without finding an ATM.

On a trip the first place you go is to the Exchange on a beer run.

Most of your advance is spent in $1 increments in a “club.”

Evaded the “old lady” at the Hide-a-Way.

You can sleep anywhere, anytime, but as soon as the engines shut down you are wide awake.

You’ve ever said bad things about the IDIOT that said, “No more nose art.”

The SRB is not the main reason you re-enlist.

Your wife understands that you have a “mistress.”

Most everyone thinks your job mostly consists of waving your arms.

You have scars on you that aren’t from your spouse or significant/unsignificant other.

You’ve ever used a helmet as a pillow.

Gone looking for a snipe.

Love Bar-B-Q on a stick.

Been gouged by the tag end of a safety-wired canon plug.

You know what a one wire is.

Tightened a canon plug with channel locks, cause the one-wire didn’t clip and bend the tag end.

You know what a short arm is.

You’ve ever stood on wheel chocks to keep your feet dry.

You’ve ever done the 100 yd dash to the line shack when lightning was called.

You’ve eaten more box lunches/MRE’s than hot meals.

You change underwear and T-shirts more often than coveralls.

You’ve ever done any of the following:

Used dykes to trim a fingernail.

Used RTV to fix a stripped screw.

Pulled the gun switch while riding brakes.

Wiped your hands on your pants.

Made tampons out of paper towels for drain hole leaks.

Knocked back a rivet stem that was hanging out a drain hole.

Wiped leaks immediately prior to crew show.

Thrown up more than two days in a row.

Gotten the new guys drunk just so you could make fun of them the next day.

Worn someone else’s hat to go to chow.

Taken pride in grossing someone out

Made sure the coffepot is the first thing in the Cruise Box.

The first thing briefed on DET is the coffee fund.

All you care about is the flight schedule and your days off.

Been to the club/bar before you even unpack.

Hated the crew for going to club in flight suits.

Hated the crew for not recognizing you in the commissary.

Hated airdales that couldn’t hack the line, got admin jobs and promoted BTZ.

Pencil whipped your training records.

Hate the fact that admin types get rides on your bird and you don’t.

Chipped ice out of your moustache or a tie-down OR a grounding point.

Thrown something living into vented LOX.

Wondered where they keep finding the idiots that keep making up the stupid rules.
You’ve been around long enough to know the rates by their ‘nicknames’…

You know what a nose picker is.

You know what a tin bender is.

You know what a BB stacker is.

You’ve ever been woken up by the returning drunks turning on all the lights.

You’ve ever returned to the barracks drunk and turned on all the lights.

You’ve ever had to defuel your jet an hour after refueling it.

You know what a pecker checker is.

You know what a stew burner is.

You know what a skivvie stacker is

You’ve ever worked in a shop where the person held in the highest regard is the one who can drink a six pack in less than 5 minutes and not puke.

The person held in second highest regard is the one who projectile pukes.

You tell your peers you are getting divorced and the first thing they ask is,”selling anything?”

You’ve ever gone straight to work from the bar.

Because of the above you’ve done your preflight on “autopilot.”

Everyone you know has some kind of nickname.

Now obviously this doesn’t apply to the Air Force, as they have a MUCH better lifestyle than the Navy does… Isn’t that true MSgt??? πŸ˜›

Comments

You might be in Naval Aviation if… — 26 Comments

  1. Ha Ha

    Yeah, right.

    Just a few weeks ago, we had a bucket from KFC on the job up in Decatur. Everyone freaked out when I reached in there and snagged a drumstick with moly-B all over my hands.
    I was like, “WTF? Bunch of pussies…”

  2. Yes, the chAir Force folks DO understand your postings! Allow me to add a few:
    Wheels up, heels up; a.k.a. squat switch activated
    You jump in the afterburner section post-flight to get warm
    After your bird launches, you lay down on the now-warm concrete to warm your frozen body. It’s the only patch that’s not covered in snow and ice. (particular to F-4s)
    Your camo’s don’t match. The tops are all nice, clean, and pressed, but the pants are trashed.
    You’ve ripped the heel off your boots while tail-gating the toolbox across the flight line.
    You’ve thrown live animals in the AB plume while doing a full-power engine run.
    Your bird has blown something large and expensive across the flight line while taxiing into/out of parking (or while testing the Emergency Power Unit)
    You’ve activated the hangar’s water deluge system with an inappropriately parked dash-60 cart
    You’ve had to swim around in the said deluged hangar to pull the rubber mats off the drains (which kept you from losing dropped tools and parts)
    You’ve fixed your plane in-flight by beating on a valve with a screwdriver handle (saved a mission over Bosnia, fixed the cabin pressurization)
    Yeah, Navy isn’t alone in these.
    Glad you’re home safe again.

  3. While on ’75 deployment in FID, we learned you shouldn’t smoke and drink the bug juice at the same time, as the bug juice would become Flaming Hookers!

  4. You might be in Naval Aviation if… you’ve ever seen a P-3C land in 40 knot quartering tale wind in Adak, Alaska in the middle of February… if you’ve spent an entire deployment paying for breakfast with winnings from the slots in the e-club (thank you Cubi!)… if you can identify a P-3 or C-130 just from the sound of their engines…

    Thanks NFO! Brought back some good memories!

  5. As a reasonably literate civilian I read that and wondered briefly if I was having a stroke.

    Lots of words I recognize but joined up in new and fascinating ways.

    πŸ™‚

    BGM

  6. Hey Old NFO;
    I recognized a few of those maintenance practice;)
    The others were just great to read, We in the Army have some of our own traditions and some transcend services.

  7. Those remind me of the good old days, I am just glad the RF-4C had no guns. Most of the people I knew working RECCES did NOT need to be near guns.

  8. As a ground pounder, I can only shake my head in disbelief. And mutter about making coffee off the manifold in. a Bradley

  9. Are PET and sand the equivalent to tar and feathers?

    Re SPEMack, that reminds me, I was just telling my son about the cookbook “Manifold Destiny”.

  10. CP- True! πŸ™‚

    MSgt B- LOL, still true to form I see! πŸ™‚

    WN- LOL, good additions, and yes sleeping in my OWN bed is nice!

    Mikey- I didn’t know that!!! πŸ˜€

    WSF- Nope, can’t say that I have, ONE of the reasons I went Navy! πŸ˜€

    N91- Did that a few times back in the 70s… Also took off from Adak once with the brakes locked…

    BGM- See all the fun stuff you missed…

    Bob- I’m sure they do, especially the tankers!

    ADM- Heard that! πŸ™‚

    SPEMack- Heh, you guys had your ‘own’ stories in the armor world!!!

    Opus- Yep, our equivalent… And yes there IS a cookbook for that!

  11. An awful lot of those were familiar & brought back memories; I wasn’t an airdale, but had a lot of buddies who were.

  12. The scary part for me was just how many of those I recognized/ have done as part of working on planes as a civvie in Alaska…

    Y’all who’ve served, thank you. You’ve done a hell of a lot more than I ever will, in a lot worse conditions, in order to secure the peace and freedom in this country that I dare not take for granted.

  13. Rev- Yep, and the Bosn’s and the snipes had their own too!

    Wing- Heh, not surprised. Lots of ex-mil flyers tend to gravitate to AK for some reason… I appreciate your comments, since you were a ‘brat’ and know more than many ever will!

  14. Hey Jim, I WAS a nose picker, Had almost everything but a spare engine/prop/carb in the back of my R5D-6, Caught a nap in the catwalk of the flight-deck with nine hurricane tie downs around my neck and two chocks in my hands ’cause some office puke took my seat in the B1RD. Absolutely loved every one of them and could relate to most all. THANKS!!

  15. I’ve slept on the wing, although I don’t remember sleeping under it. Usually I would find an embarq box and use bubble wrap for a pillow.

    Most of these are spot on. I would add one:

    If you ever participated in disabling the governors on the tuggers and then raced them on the flight line.

  16. Ev- LOL, I figured you would!

    Rick- You’re welcome!

    ASM- Heard that, and no we NEVER did that last one… πŸ˜€

  17. I read through the list. So many sounded familiar, I went back and checked off each one.
    Is 43 pretty good? ….And I’m not even Navy.

  18. Been there. Done a lot of that.

    But the Air Force does have a much better lifestyle than the Navy. Can’t fit a golf course on a carrier.

  19. Well the AF is (was) pretty much the same. I had to chuckle about sucking LOX.

  20. “You might be in Naval Aviation if… if you can identify a P-3 or C-130 just from the sound of their engines…”
    That also applies to bubbleheads. 68hz tonal, and I *still* cringe every time I hear a herkybird fly overhead.

  21. I was way old school, P-3’s were new things.
    we flew in the P2-v , on take off roll you always hoped for two turnin and two burnin.
    long time ago— fun reminders thanks