A little ‘humor’ for hump day…

A group of women were at a seminar on how to live in a loving
relationship with your husband.  The women were asked, “How many of…  you love your
husband?” All the women raised their hands.

Then they were asked, “When was the last time you told your husband you
loved him?” Some women answered today, a few yesterday, and some couldn’t
remember.  The women were then told to take out their cell phones and text
their husband: “I love you, sweetheart.”

The women were then told to exchange phones with another person, and to
read aloud the text message they received, in response.

Here are some of the replies:

1.  Who the hell is this?

2.  Eh, mother of my children, are you sick or what?

3.  Yeah, and I love you too.  What’s up with you??

4.  What now?  Did you wreck the car again?

5.  I don’t understand what you mean?

6.  What the ___ did you do now?

7.  You’re kidding, right ?

8.  Don’t beat about the bush; just tell me how much you need?

9.  Am I dreaming?

10.  If you don’t tell me who this message is actually for, someone will

11.  I thought we agreed you wouldn’t drink during the day.  (my favorite)

12.  Your mother is coming to stay with us, isn’t she???
h/t JP


A little ‘humor’ for hump day… — 22 Comments

  1. I received one of those I LOVE YOU texts out of the blue several years ago.

    When I arrived home, dinner was ready.

    Naturally I smelled a rat.

    She’d driven the van through the wall of the garage and into my den, collapsing a load bearing wall on the corner of the house, causing $15K damage to the structure and $1K damage to the car.

    I asked why.

    “The accelerator stuck”

    The kids ratted her out. She was on the phone with one of her friends and wasn’t paying attention.

    “I love you” is a frigging RED FLAG.

    • One more.

      Received an I LOVE YOU text.

      Arrived home, and as above, dinner was ready and she wore make-up.


      She kept charging her credit card making minimal payments and the balance reached $17,000.00 and they refused to raise the limit anymore. I was under the impression that her limit was something on the order of $1,500. It reached the point where they wouldn't raise the limit further and thus she was in crisis mode.

      Ain't love grand?

  2. That is like the women who wanted to spice up her sex life with her husband. Sooo… he came home from work and saw her lying naked on the couch. He asked her what in the hell she was doing and she told him she wanted to greet him in her birth suit. He just looked at her and told her to go iron the suit because it was wrinkled as hell.

    His alimony isn’t too high nor is the child support.

  3. Guys do that sorta thing as well. “Love You Babe” means a hunt’n trip, a new shotgun, a new saddle or…
    LOL, the Cowman went to get me a new washer & dryer(was using a defunct hotwalker) and came home with another cowhorse instead.
    It’s all good until they quit saying “Love You Babe”.

  4. For me, it’s the exact opposite, working in a secure facility, generally I leave my personal cellphone in the truck for most of the day. So, the Lady Friend will usually text me something sweet so that I see it before driving home.
    However, my “I love you” text messages generally follow a text explaining how are upcoming couple’s retreat weekend has been postponed due to a suprise FTX or you know, deploying to the ROK.

  5. My Mrs., usually does text me to say she loves me. That will be the text. I usually know something is afoot when she says: “You know I love you…”? Yep, and the punchline is something in regards to: “but, I did spend a bit more than expected on X”…?

  6. Yep. As each day goes by, I am seeing more and more of these things. As was said by a wise man – do you wanna be happy, or right? I have chosen being happy. And we are happy. You NFO, are right! lol.

  7. Rev- Yep…

    Fargo- LOL, true!

    WSF- Agreed! One was enough for me…

    LL- Ouch x2!!!

    CP- LOL, at our age, yeah that WOULD happen…

    Dammit- Ouch… Cowpony vs. washer/dryer??? Sooooo… How long did he spend on the couch?

    Randy- Thanks!

    SPE- Yep, one of my co-workers ran into that… All day no phone, came out of the back room to 20+ texts and I think 10 phone messages… She was PISSED that he hadn’t answered… And I got roped into confirming where he’d been (and of course she didn’t believe EITHER of us)… Divorce followed within a year.

    Jim- It ALWAYS gets expensive…

    Mrs.C- Oh… NOT good!

    FLA- Yep, two choices… 🙂

  8. Old NFO, He didn’t spend anytime on the couch, I just let it go, never said a word, partly because I don’t think that way, and partly because I figured it would work its self out… After the third time that cowpony bucked him down Hard, the cowpony went away and a washer and dryer showed up.

  9. At the same seminar, the host asked if the women ever woke up grumpy in the morning.

    One older lady said, “No. Sometimes I let him sleep in.”

  10. I send him text messages saying “I love you” every couple of days when I’m at work (in addition to telling him when I call before coming home), and every day when I’m working remote. But then, we’ve already survived a heart attack before we even got to the wedding, and there were a couple close calls with flying too hot and heavy and too high in the mountains, (not to mention at night and over water), so…

    It’s an easy thing, given I don’t expect he’ll live to the twentieth wedding anniversary, and there’s always that small voice in the back of my mind cautioning that my next flight could be my last one, like too many friends before.

    I can’t take him for granted, because sooner or later (pray G-d it’s much, much later), one of us is going to be left behind at a graveside, and then there’ll be no more chances. There’s not enough time to waste any of it!