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- It’s lonely at the top but you eat better.
- A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
- Be nice to your kids. They’ll choose your nursing home.
- There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can’t
- How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of murdered?
- I don’t like making plans for the day because the word “premeditated” get’s thrown around a lot in the courtroom.
- You can tell a lot about a woman’s mood just by her hands. For instance, if she’s holding a gun, she’s probably angry.
- Sometimes you have to burn some bridges to keep the crazies from following you.
- I’ve got to stop saying “how stupid can you be?” Too many people are taking it as a challenge.
- I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds… People move out of the much quicker now.
- I’ve learned that no matter how much I care, some people are just assholes.
- I’ve learned that regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there better be a lot of money to take its place.
- Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
- Men have two emotions: hungry and horny, and they can’t tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eye, make him a sandwich.
- Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers; what you do today might burn your butt tomorrow.
- Don’t draw fire, it irritates the people around you.
- Tracers work both ways.
- A good landing is when you can walk away from the plane. A great landing is when you can reuse the plane.
- Don’t ever be the first, don’t ever be the last and don’t ever volunteer for anything.
- Nothing is so good for the morale of the troops as to occasionally see a dead general.
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Ha. Love those.The challenge of the stupid is getting out of control. Stop that. LOL
You are wise beyond you ears.
Fargo- Good point!
Woodster- LOL, good one!
Thanks for the laughs, those were some good ones.
Senior- You’re welcome! Glad I can make folks laugh! 😀
A guy I knew who was very wealthy and was very much a self-made man once told me, “I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor and rich is better.”
LL- Good point that… 🙂
Life is a bitch, then it has puppies.
Good Ones