Aging out…

This one came over the transom last night via the mil-email string…

As we get older and we experience the loss of old friends, we begin to realize that maybe we  bullet-proof Pilots won’t live forever. We aren’t so bullet-proof anymore.  We ponder, “if I/we were gone tomorrow, did I say what I wanted to my Brothers?”  The answer is “No!”  Hence, the following random thoughts:

When people ask me if I miss flying, I always say something like, “Yes, I miss the flying because when you are flying, you are totally focused on the task at hand. It’s like nothing else you will ever do (almost).” But then I always say, However, I miss the Squadron and the Guys even more than I miss the flying.”

Why? You might ask. They were a bunch of aggressive, wise ass, cocky, insulting, sarcastic bastards in smelly flight suits who thought a funny thing to do was to fart and see if they could clear the room.

  They drank too much they chased women, they flew when they shouldn’t, they laughed too loud and thought they owned the sky, the bar — and generally thought they could do everything better than the next guy. Nothing was funnier than trying to mess with a buddy and see how pissed off he would get. They flew planes that leaked, that smoked, that broke, that couldn’t turn, that burned fuel too fast, that seldom had working autopilots or radars, and  with systems that were archaic compared to today’s new generation aircraft. But a little closer look might show that every guy in the room was sneaky smart and damn competent and brutally handsome in their own way! They hated to lose or fail to accomplish the mission and seldom did. They were the laziest guys on the planet until challenged and then they would do anything to win. They would fly with wing tips overlapped at night through the worst weather with only a little “formation light” to hold on to, knowing their flight lead would get them on the ground safely. They would fight in the air knowing the greatest risk and fear was that another friendly fighter would arrive at the same enemy six o’clock position as they did. They would fly in harm’s way and act nonchalant as if to challenge the grim reaper.

When we flew to another base we proclaimed that we were the best as soon as we landed.

Often we were not invited back. When we went into an O’ Club, we owned the bar. We were lucky to be the Best of the Best in the Military. We knew it and so did others. Later, we found flying jobs, lost jobs, got married, got divorced, moved, went broke, got rich, broke some things and knew the only thing you could count on–really count on–was if you needed help, a fellow pilot would have your back.

I miss the call signs, nicknames and the stories behind them. I miss getting lit up in an O’ Club full of my buddies and watching the incredible, unbelievable things that were happening. I miss the crew chiefs saluting as I taxied out of the flight line. I miss lighting the afterburner, if you had one, especially at night. I miss going straight up and straight down. I miss the cross countries. I miss the dice games for drinks at the bar. I miss listening to BS stories and laughing until my eyes watered. I miss three man lifts. I miss naps in the squadron with a room full of pilots working up new tricks to torment the sleeper. I miss flying down in the Grand Canyon and hearing others’ stories about flying so low. I miss coming into the break “HOT” and looking over and seeing my three wing men tucked in tight, ready to make our boys on the ground proud. I miss belches that could be heard in neighboring states. I miss putting on ad hoc Air Shows that might be over someone’s home or farm in faraway towns.

Finally, I miss hearing “DEAD BUG!” called out at the bar and seeing and hearing a room full of men hit the deck with drinks spilling and chairs knocked over as they rolled in the beer and kicked their legs in the air followed closely by a Not Politically Correct tap dance and singing spectacle that couldn’t  help but make you grin and order another round.

I am a lucky guy and have lived a great life! One thing I know is that I was part of a special, really talented bunch of guys doing something dangerous and doing it better than most–flying the most beautiful, ugly, noisy, solid aircraft ever built–supported by loyal ground crews fully committed to making sure we came home! Being prepared to fly and fight and die for America . Having a clear mission.  Having FUN.

Most of the time, we box out bad memories from various operations, but never the hallowed memories of our fallen comrades. We are often amazed at how good war stories never let truth interfere and how they get better with age. We were lucky bastards to be able to walk into a squadron or a bar and have men we respected and loved shout our names, or our call signs, and know that this is truly where we belonged. We were military pilots. We were few and we were PROUD. I am privileged and proud to call you Brothers ! Push it Up and Check your “SIX!”

While it’s written from a USAF perspective, it holds true for all services, and it does come to mind more and more as we hear through the grapevine that ‘Spuds’ died, or ‘Tonto’ passed away…

In our minds, we’re still those bulletproof kids, ready to jump in the bird and go do battle…

The reality is we’re in our 60s or older, fat, bald, and need glasses…

Sigh…

Comments

Aging out… — 23 Comments

  1. AW. I have those moments about law enforcement as well. Are you feeling a little meloncholy about retirement? And only some of you are in your 60s. LOL. I’m still holding out under 50.

  2. As Doc Holiday said in Tombstone, “I’m in my prime.”

    😉

  3. Regardless, thank you for your service!
    And I’m in my 60’s old, fat, bald, need glasses and didn’t go through all that stuff!
    (other stuff, though 🙂 )

    gfa

  4. I had the body of a Greek God — these days it’s tending to look a bit more like Buddha, but godly all the same…

    Yes, it’s all about the guys. A friend called me yesterday and asked if I had a unit photo that included X. I said that I’d look and asked why. They said, “he died. I thought you knew.”

    His memorial is in Arlington National Cemetery today. I hurried out, scanned the photo, and sent it by e-mail so they could print it on the other end and put it on his coffin, or on the table with flowers, etc. I couldn’t physically get there in time.

    There aren’t all that many of my group remaining. Not the originals. We have not lived to a ripe old age.

  5. I feel that way about the Navy … about the Fire Dept. … and law enforcement …

    Dang. This “gettin’ old” stuff is gettin’ old.

  6. This made me think of this, from the Master:

    “An artist can look at a pretty girl and see the old woman she will become. A better artist can look at an old woman and see the pretty girl she used to be. But a great artist–a master–and that is what Auguste Rodin was–can look at an old woman, portray her exactly as she is…and force the viewer to see the pretty girl she used to be…more than that, he can make anyone with the sensitivity of an armadillo see that this lovely young girl is still alive, not old and ugly at all, but simply prisoned inside her ruined body. He can make you feel the quiet, endless tragedy that there was never a girl born who ever grew older than eighteen in her heart…no matter what the merciless hours have done to her…”

    Stranger in a Strange Land. RAH

  7. As I was saying to someone last week. If I’d known I was going to live this long, I would have taken better care of myself.

  8. Hey Old NFO;

    I remember things in my service that to me don’t seem long ago but we were around during major turning points of history. I know that I am getting older and that there are more days behind me than in front of me. But I don’t care, I will go out still living life to the fullest and nobody can ask for anything more. We stand by our convictions when others change with the political winds and we know that we are made of sterner stuff and when we finally cross over to meet St Peter, we know that we have our integrity intact and no better epitaph a man deserves.

  9. Jeeze, I miss those nasty, dirty, uncomfortable, cramped, awkward, ungraceful, slow, JP8-burning EH60s…

  10. I miss the days of working for the Indiana Department of Corrections and the comradeship of my fellow officers.

  11. 60s or older – check
    Fat – no, but more rounded
    Bald – no, but less hairy
    Need glasses – check
    Ready to go do battle – check

  12. 60-Now closer to 61
    Fat-Just a Dunlop
    Bald-I hide it by shaving my head
    Glasses-been in bifocals almost 20 years already
    I still turn wrenches that keep the birdmen in flight………………..

  13. I already miss all of that about the ER. I’ve not even been out a year, and I know that, no matter what else I end up doing, nothing will quite ever be the same as the rush of doing more with less, pulling kids back from the brink and keeping them alive with not nearly enough nurses, staff, and other support and supplies. The friends I made, the mornings we went out after work to settle ourselves down before heading home…that can’t be beat.

  14. Old?? what’s that?? ‘Had to take a break after I tore my right deltoid 8 1/2 years ago…..but now “I’m Back!!!!” jump # 3848 23MAY2015 http://www.goldcoastskydivers.com Old? what’z that?? 70 spinz around the sun and more to come!!
    “NO SKY TOO HIGH!!!!!”
    Got That??,
    III%,
    skybill-out USPA-356, B-4240, C-3114, D-6009, SCR-2034, SCS-680, Freak Brother-1495

      • ‘Last vid was my dive from the instructor’s (J.C.) perspective. Here’s one for you….if you ever thought…..”pop” a cold Beer, sit back in yer’ EZ chair and I know you have thought many, many times when you’ve flown over a stadium full of people at a football/baseball game,…..”I wonder what it would be like to ..L-A-N-D There??” USSOCCOM Paracommandos take you there…..all the way to the “50 YARD LINE!!!!!” Note: just after the 3:00 min mark where the ref comes up to the jumper and he “Hands Him The Football they will use in the Game!!!!!” ‘Never did a Stadium but did Fly the American Flag into an Air Show while they were playing the “Star Spangled Banner!!” Oh Yes, “And ‘Thank You Sandy!!”
        “NO SKY TOO HIGH!!,”
        Blue skies,
        III%,
        skybill-out
        clicky.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4MZ1ro_IrnA&feature=em-share_video_user