Snerk…

Anybody remember flame wars???

I found this while searching for another file… From the mid-90s…

THIS IS A FLAME

Dear

[ ] asshole [ ] fag [ ] ignorant snot [ ] prick [ ] nerd [ ] Elvis [ ] lonely masturbator [ ] computer geek [ ] retard [ ] sycophant [ ] David Sternlight

You are being flamed because

[ ] you continued a boring useless stupid thread

[ ] you repeatedly posted to the same thread that you just posted to

[ ] you repeatedly posted the same article

[ ] you posted a homework assignment

[ ] you posted a “test”

[ ] you used vi and left a whole bunch of editing garbage on the screen

[ ] you posted a request for an article which was posted three times in the past week

[ ] you claimed to have the original GGBJ

[ ] you posted some sort of religious crap that doesn’t belong in this group

[ ] you posted an article that was not funny, unoriginal and very boring

[ ] your mother dresses you funny

To recant, you must

[ ] actually post a humorous article

[ ] give up all your worldly possessions and become a Tibetan monk

[ ] go to the public library and try to do your own homework

[ ] hang yourself by the big toe for 72 hours

[ ] abstain from sex for a month (shouldn’t be too hard for you)

[ ] shave your head, paint a target on it, and go to Iraq

[ ] give your MP (Congressman in U.S.A., I guess) a donation of three hemp plants to decorate his office

[ ] become politically correct and demand that manholes be renamed to peroffspringopenings

[ ] cut your balls (or breasts, if you’re a woman) off

[ ] _________________________________________________

 

Thank you for the time you have taken to read this, and please desist from the offending behavior that led to this flame.

 

_____________________________________________________________________________

 

END FLAME


Comments

Snerk… — 12 Comments

  1. What strikes me most about that collection is that it’s so … relatively gentle humor, compared to the vitriol & hatred in “modern” social media.

  2. “[ ] you posted a “test” ”

    NEWSGROUPS!!!!!
    Dear God… the Uncivilized times… Moderators were as unusual as immaculate conception

  3. [ ] you used vi and left a whole bunch of editing garbage on the screen

    I am so old that I was considered an expert on vi. How far we have come.

  4. I remember using vi. I remember flame wars that got so out of control the local cops had to step in and try to get it stopped. That was a hoot!

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