So you get humor…
Useful Aviation Terms
AIRSPEED – Speed of an airplane. (Deduct 25% when listening to a retired fighter pilot.)
BANK – The folks who hold the lien on most pilots’ cars.
CARBURETOR ICING – A phenomenon reported to the FAA by pilots immediately after they run out of gas.
CONE OF CONFUSION – An area about the size of New Jersey located near the final approach fix at an airport.
DEAD RECKONING – You reckon correctly, or you are.
DESTINATION – Geographical location 30 minutes beyond the pilot’s bladder saturation point.
ENGINE FAILURE – A condition that occurs when all fuel tanks mysteriously become filled with low-octane air.
FIREWALL – Section of the aircraft specifically designed to funnel heat and smoke into the cockpit.
FLIGHT FOLLOWING – Formation flying.
GLIDE DISTANCE – Half the distance from an airplane to the nearest emergency landing field.
HOBBS – An instrument which creates an emergency situation should it fail during dual instruction.
HYDROPLANE – An airplane designed to land long on a short and wet runway.
LEAN MIXTURE – Nonalcoholic beer.
MINI MAG LITE – Device designed to support the AA battery industry.
NANOSECOND – Time delay between the Low Fuel Warning light and the onset of carburetor icing.
PARASITIC DRAG – A pilot who bums a ride and complains about the service.
RICH MIXTURE – What you order at another pilot’s promotion party.
ROGER – Used when you’re not sure what else to say.
SECTIONAL CHART – Any chart that ends 25 nm short of your destination.
SERVICE CEILING – Altitude at which cabin crew can serve drinks.
SPOILERS – FAA Inspectors.
STALL – Technique used to explain to the bank why your car payment is late.
STEEP BANKS – Banks that charge pilots more than 10% interest.
TURN & BANK INDICATOR – An instrument largely ignored by pilots.
USEFUL LOAD – Volumetric capacity of the aircraft, disregarding weight.
WAC CHART – Directions to the Army female barracks.
YANKEE – Any pilot who has to ask New Orleans tower to “Say again”.