Busy with stuff, so you get humor…
Will Rogers died in a plane crash in 1935, but many of the things he said never grow old.
– Never kick a cow chip on a hot day.
– There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither works.
– If you find yourself in a hole, stop digging.
– The quickest way to double your money is to fold it and put it back into your pocket.
– Never miss a good chance to shut up.
– Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
– Lettin’ the cat outta’ the bag is a whole lot easier’n puttin’ it back.
– After eating an entire bull, a mountain lion felt so good he started roaring. He kept it up until a hunter came along and
shot him. The moral: When you’re full of bull, keep your mouth shut.
– Eventually you will reach a point in life when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.
– The older we get, the fewer things seem worth waiting in line for.
– When you are dissatisfied and would like to go back to your youth, think of Algebra.
– One must wait until evening to see how splendid the day has been.
– Being young is beautiful, but being old is comfortable and relaxed.
– Long ago, when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft. Today it’s called golf.
– If you don’t learn to laugh at trouble, you won’t have anything to laugh at when you’re old.
– The road to success is dotted with many tempting parking spaces.
No one believes seniors . . . everyone thinks they are senile.
An elderly couple was celebrating their sixtieth anniversary.
The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired.
Holding hands, they walked back to their old school.
It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they’d shared, where Andy had carved “I love you, Sally .”
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet.
Sally quickly picked it up and, not sure what to do with it, they took it home.
There, she counted the money –
fifty thousand dollars!
Andy said, “We’ve got to give it back.”
Sally said, “Finders keepers.” She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two police officers were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money,
and knocked on their door. “Pardon me, did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?”
Sally said, “No”.
Andy said, “She’s lying. She hid it up in the attic.
Sally said, “Don’t believe him, he’s getting senile”
The agents turned to Andy and began to question him.
One said: “Tell us the story from the beginning.”
Andy said, “Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ….”
The first police officer turned to his partner and said, “We’re outta here!”