The day AFTER Christmas

I’m still full from yesterday… sigh…

Feel for the parents out today hunting more batteries for the kid’s toys…

The Day After Christmas

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.

The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.

Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.

And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.

The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”

With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.

Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:

“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s and Sears
Here’s Robinson’s, Levitz’s and Target’s and Mervyn’s.

To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway–chargeaway–chargeaway all!”

He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.

He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.

Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,

And you can file this away for next year…                                                                               

image001According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December.  Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth  in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition  depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.

We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.

Guess I’ll go look in the fridge to find what’s left from yesterday’s dinner to munch on today… 🙂


The day AFTER Christmas — 16 Comments

  1. You seem to have forgotten, Santa’s reindeer are magical reindeer, they are also of a tiny variety. Thus besides being able to fly at speeds inconceivable (yes I watched at least part of The Princess Bride last night), and one being able to light up it’s nose, they probably retain their antlers differently than do the run of the mill reindeer that you’d find in Alaska or Lapland.

  2. Sabotaged the diet yesterday and the scale this morning was confirmation the sabotage worked. Don’t regret any morsel that passed my lips.

  3. “…parents out today hunting more batteries for the kid’s toys…”

    This is why rechargeable batteries are a great idea for gifts.

    So remember that for next year. 😀

  4. JMI- It was!

    Glenn- Point… LOL

    WSF- Concur!!!

    Ratus- That ‘assumes’ you have the right chargers in the right size… sigh…

  5. Grandkids coming today.
    Wifmann wants (me) to make tamales.
    A tradition for this time of year for us.
    I may have to enslave the younger generation in this endeavor.
    It is for their own good.
    Someone has to know how to do this kind of stuff after I am morte.

  6. Hey Old NFO;

    I am glad the kid is past the battery powered toy stage, now it is gasoline powered F150, LOL. I don’t sweat the bills from Christmas, I have money going every paycheck into a savings account to pay for Christmas. We got tired of the debt train a while back. The Spread looked awesome 🙂 and enjoy your post Christmas food coma, LOL

  7. Heh. I had my annual physical this AM. I can just imagine what the blood cholesterol read out will be.

  8. My kids have grown up and moved out. Still, I got a big bunch of AAAs from Costco, and still have a number of AAs. Wife’s grandkids are due in Saturday…

  9. We had an astounding amount of food for the 18 family members that were here.

    And man….I’m feeling the bloat as much as WSF!

  10. Today, Boxing Day, is the worst possible day of the year to have a birthday. That’s why today is my birthday. It’s never easy to get motivated. Tomorrow its the long drive back to the White Wolf Mine (covered in snow).

  11. Waepn- Time to teach the youngsters! Enjoy the time!

    Bob- I’m STILL full… sigh

    TXRed- That’s gonna be fun… LOL

    Sam- Enjoy the grands!

    drjim- Agreed!!!

    LL- Oh, that sucks… So you’ve never really HAD a birthday party… Drive safe!

  12. Urk, looked at that spread and the remains of our family feast from Christmas Eve (we hosted). Well, most of the leftovers are good veggies and meat. OK, some … May need another party just to clear these.

  13. Rats to finishing the leftovers, I was hoping to score some of them home made tamales 🙁

  14. Twas the day after Christmas
    And all through the land
    Scales were groaning
    And diets were planned.