Happy New Year!!!

Posted on by December 31, 2019

Wakey, wakey… Time to be up and about… Now go forth and screw up those checks… 🙂

But I do have a few questions…

I haven’t found out who let the dogs out…where’s the beef…how to get to Sesame Street… why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps…Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same, or how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop……why eggs are packaged in a flimsy carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails…what does the fox say… why “abbreviated” is such a long word; or why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator… why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons… why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections… and, why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”?Where’s that extra penny going to… why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune… why did you just try to sing those two previous songs… and just what exactly is Victoria’s secret? and where is Waldo?… Can you hear me now?… Now my mind is hung up on how much is that doggie in the window? Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow?

Best wishes to each and every one for 2020!

Comments

Happy New Year!!! — 20 Comments

  3. Happy New Year, NFO. By the way, just how much wood would a woodchuck chuck?

  4. I’d wish you a happy new year, but you mad my brain hurt by the third line. 🙂

  5. Between fifteen and twenty licks, depending on the kid. Yes, my cohort in grade school was a little Odd. 🙂

  6. That was a lot of random, but at least you didn’t type that you expected us to read it while imagining that Morgan Freeman was the narrator.

    A good new year to you and yours.

  8. Big questions for the ages that may be solved with 2020 vision?

    Happy New Year

  9. A good way to start the new year ONFO. Now my nights are shot trying come up with the answers. Thanks, pal.

  12. Who let the dogs out? Who cares, it’s more important as to who’s cleaning up the mess if they don’t go out.

    Where’s the beef? Not in any impossible burger using fake meat products that are not fully tested.

    How to get to Sesame Street? Go to HBO. That’s where.

    Why Dora doesn’t just use Google Maps? Her Coyote won’t let her.

    Why do all flavors of fruit loops taste exactly the same? Who cares, eat something healthy for breakfast like BACON.

    How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Mr. Owl says “Three.”

    Why eggs are packaged in a flimsy carton, but batteries are secured in plastic that’s tough as nails? Because inner city hoodrats don’t steal eggs.

    What does the fox say? He says, “Thump” when you hit him with the truck.

    Why “abbreviated” is such a long word? You ask too many questions. But the simple answer is “It’s French.” If it’s screwed up, blame it on the French.

    Why is there a D in ‘fridge’ but not in refrigerator? Because ‘Frig’ is too easy and won’t give us any excuse to blame the French.

    Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor yet dish-washing liquid is made with real lemons? Don’t buy fake lemonade you cheap bastige.

    Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections? What you should be asking is why don’t they just inject 150 grains of plumbum.

    Why do you have to “put your two cents in” but it’s only a “penny for your thoughts”?Where’s that extra penny going to? Taxes, thanks California.

    Why does The Alphabet Song and Twinkle Twinkle Little Star have the same tune? Well, the RIAA hasn’t figured out who to sue first, so we can only think ‘Who cares?’

    Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? Because that’s how human minds work. Be really scary if someone reading this didn’t try to at least run them through their minds in comparison?

    Just what exactly is Victoria’s secret? American women are gullible and only good strippers can wear that stuff and look good in it.

    Where is Waldo? Northeast of Gainesville, FL, duh.

    Can you hear me now? No. I’m reading and typing, not using an audio device or speech reader.

    Now my mind is hung up on how much is that doggie in the window? You could always open the door and ask, hopefully Dora, vacuuming the place for the lady who thinks Victoria’s Secret looks good on her, speaka de English.

    Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? No. Grudging masculine respect bordering on slight bro-mance, you jerk.

    • Why did you just try to sing those two previous songs? Because that’s how human minds work. Be really scary if someone reading this didn’t try to at least run them through their minds in comparison?

      Not (exactly) human. But we knew that.

  15. Happy 2020 to one and all! Got up to 40-ish licks on a Tootsie Pop, then got bored and ate it ?

  17. All- Thanks and Beans, you must have REALLY been bored… LOL, but I loved the answers!

    Posted from my iPhone.

  18. …and if something is refrigerated, did it first need to be
    simply frigerated? And if not… what’s going on?