Feel for the parents out today hunting more batteries for the kid’s toys…
The Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s and Sears
Here’s Robinson’s, Levitz’s and Target’s and Mervyn’s.
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway–chargeaway–chargeaway all!”
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“ENJOY WHAT YOU BOUGHT…….
YOU’LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!”
And you can file this away for next year…
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring. Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa’s reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should’ve known… ONLY women would be able to drag a fat-ass man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Guess I’ll go look in the fridge to find what’s left from yesterday’s dinner to munch on today… 🙂
Good points here. The store names need a bit of updating.
The store names and Reeboks, now I feel old. At least Gimbel’s wasn’t in the list.
Or maybe worse Montgomery Wards!
Last time I remember buying anything from them was circa 1977.
Growing up, we kids called it “Monkey Wards”.
Neil DeGrasse-Tyson (astronomer and astrophysicist) apparently was going on about Santa mis-gendering Rudolph. *SIGH* And then folks with PhDs wonder why ordinary/normal people don’t want to listen to scientists?
😉 know, if Rudolph wants to identify as male, who’s to argue?
Hey Old NFO;
Happy Post Christmas to you and to be tacky I have money pulled every month to the “Christmas Account” so we can buy presents and pay the bill off before the cut off date, I refuse to incur debt over this, If something happens to my job I don’t want that albatross wrapped around my neck.
TXRed is correct on his assertion…
John/PK- LOL, that’s for us old farts…
TXRed- This, for sure…. Tyson continues to beclown himself almost daily.
Bob- Smart man! Funny how the banks don’t advertise those anymore…
nice – got a good chuckle out of both items as well as TXRed’s comment about how Rudolph identifies (although how do we really know Rudolph has antlers? could pictures of him having antlers just be artists’ renditions?).
Just made a nice sandwich with leftover roast beef from yesterday – the beef was a big hit, very tender – as Mom used to say, “The butcher gave us a good piece of meat.”
Leftovers! Yumm
I trust your actual experience was somewhat more enjoyable. Merry Christmas from Way Up North!
This is the first time I’ve heard the after Christmas poem. I might steal, borrow, confiscator or plagiarize it on my FB page.
Tom- Good!
WSF- Yep!
Rev- It was good! Thank you!
CP- Feel free!!!
Penny’s… The last one I saw in the town I left a year ago had been closed for 2-3 years, IIRC (and I may not, the C part), maybe four… +???? My memory ain’t what it never was…
If you will allow a late Christmas video, this is worth the time to watch, follow the links.
https://theferalirishman.blogspot.com/2020/12/its-dusty-in-here-this-sunday-morning.html
Sam- Yeah, some of the them are old…
Grog- Thanks! That is a great one!