Words…

Posted on by January 24, 2021

They mean things… Just not necessarily what some people think…

1.    THINGY (thing-ee) n

       Female.. Any part under a car’s hood.
       Male…….The fastener on a woman’s bra.
2.    VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
       Female…Fully opening up one’s self emotionally to another.
       Male…….Playing football without a protective cup or a mouthguard.
3..    COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni- kay-shon) n.
       Female…The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one’s partner.
       Male……Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.
4.    COMMITMENT (ko- mit-ment) n.
       Female… A desire to get married and raise a family.
       Male…… Trying not to hit on other women while out with this one.
5.    ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter- tayn-ment) n.
       Female…A good movie, concert, play or book.
       Male……Anything that can be done while drinking beer.
6.    FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
       Female…An embarrassing by-product of indigestion.
       Male…..A source of entertainment, self-expression, male bonding.
7.    MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
      Female…The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
      Male……Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.
8.    REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
       Female…A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
       Male……A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.
AND
He said…..I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.
She said….You wear pants, don’t you?
He said…..Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
She said….That’s a good idea – you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart!
He said…..What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
She said….Turn sideways and look in the mirror!
He said…..Why are married women heavier than single women?
She said….Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.  Married women come home, see what’s in the bed and go to the fridge.
And then there are actions… I got a very pleasant surprise yesterday, my oldest daughter showed up on my doorstep from California! It was her birthday, and she decided since I didn’t go out there for Christmas, she would give herself a present and come see me. I was totally surprised, and couldn’t have been happier to see her. And she wanted BBQ, so I was happy to oblige her. The smile on her face when she bit into real BBQ was a thing of beauty! 🙂 Thank you for doing that, I’ll remember it for a long time!!!

Comments

Words… — 13 Comments

  1. That story about your daughter is gold. I’m glad you have that relationship. Those surprises are treasure.

  3. Great story about the daughter. Good BBQ can cure just about any problem. Now, how do you keep her from going back to California?

  4. It’s Day 6 of Beijing Biden’s administration, so Let’s take a look at what the Biden/Harris administration has done for us So Far.. —

    – A loss of 57,000 jobs in oil.

    – Ended energy independence for the United States.

    – Canada and Texas are suing Biden.

    – Antifa (just an idea right), continue to riot and burn down Portland and Seattle.

    – Sent our troops that were in DC to sleep on the floor of a parking garage, in freezing temps, with cars parked there ?? and one bathroom. But the White House made them cookies ??????? (actually only enough cookies were made for the photo op) ??

    – Created a new glass ceiling for girls to hurdle, ruining so many chances for scholarships with his “progressive” transgender programs allowing boys to compete against girls.

    – Created a new federal property mask mandate, which he broke countless times already.

    – Is now allowing illegal immigrants to be counted for representation in congress.

    – A complete halt on student loan forgiveness that he promised.

    – A complete halt on the $2000 stimulus program he promised.

    – He shot down a Trump admin order to lower the cost of insulin.

    – He shot down a Trump admin order to lower the cost of epinephrine.

    – Rescinds Trump order banning Chinese Communist involvement in US power grid

    – $1.6 billion in gross wages lost.

    And Where is the Outcry for Biden’s Killing the Keystone pipeline= costing American 8000 jobs & raised gas prices!

    And JUST TODAY – 8 Chinese bombers, 4 fighters, and 1 sub-hunter just breached Taiwan’s Air Defense Identification Zone, crossing the Taiwan Strait

    Everything they’ve done in THREE DAYS has benefited other countries and hurt Americans.

    But hey, at least Biden hasn’t Tweeted mean words. And, we have a “Woman of Color” for our Vice President.

    • To be correct, that would be a ‘non-gender person of color.’ Biden even wiped out the ‘historical’ vice presidency of a woman.

      Not the first POC vice president, that would be some dude back in the 20’s, the 1920’s. (go see Lawdog’s blog for the answer. Surprised me as I was told only whyte-peepoo ever got high office.)

  6. COMMUNICATION
    Female – Let’s talk about it, talk about it some more, go over what we talked about and, HEY, pay attention, I haven’t finished talking about it… blah, blah, blah….

    Male – This needs to be done, doing it, done, are you still talking?

    And I second the ‘kidnapping’ of daughter to keep her from travelling to the Left Coast. LL might know some combat movers willing to do the packing in half an hour…

  8. I can undo a “thingy” with only my left hand, even if that thingy has four individual clasps.
    And I’m willing to demonstrate my talent anytime, anywhere you’d like.

  10. All- Thanks for the comments! I’ll pass them along to her. She has a real job, so had to go back. She’s an ‘essential’ worker.

    Posted from my iPhone.

  12. Ya left out the ‘real’ reason the womyns have dogs = it comes up in the flatulence area – the dog gets the blame for hers.