No matter how bad your life is, it’s still not as bad as a person who sits around worrying about the gender of a plastic potato…

And for you old farts, a Burma Shave.

And I’ll leave you with this…

An incorrect use of words – articulately replacing one word with another word that sounds similar but has a diffident meaning – possibly fueled by a deep-seeded desire to sound more educated, witch results in an attempt to pawn off an incorrect word in place of a correct one.
In academia, such flaunting of common social morays is seen as almost sorted and might result in the offender becoming a piranha, in the Monday world, after all is set and done, such a miner era will often leave normal people unphased.
This is just as well sense people of that elk are unlikely to tow the line irregardless of any attempt to better educate them. A small percentage, however, suffer from severe acyrologiaphobia, and it is their upmost desire to see English used properly.
Exposure may cause them symptoms that may resemble post-dramatic stress disorder and, eventually, descend into whole-scale outrage as they go star-craving mad. Eventually, they will succumb to the stings and arrows of such a barrage, and suffer a complete metal breakdown, leaving them curled up in the feeble position.

It’s called Acyrologia…

And then there’s this, depending on which state you live in…


Sigh… — 23 Comments

  1. Through this vale

    of toil and sin

    your head grows bald

    but not your chin

    –Burma Shave

    And for a more regional flavor, in the midst of the sage brush desert:

    It’s uncanny
    No restrooms around here
    –Stinker Stations

  2. It would be progressive if Hasbro (has-bro – gender insensitive term) would make a potato head with a detachable dick, so that Mrs. Potato Head could transform instantly to a chick with a stick. It would be very progressive.

    • Quit giving them ideas!!

      Lord knows they have nothing else to think about…

  3. A phrase that ran in our family when I was a wee lad is “When promulgating your esotery, beware of platitudeness ponderosity.” Not sure if it was my dad or eldest sister that came up with that. Both were brilliant, even though Dad never graduated high school.

  4. I was going to say that “morays” are eels, but then I reread what you wrote, and “mores” are less. U sucked me in!!!!

  5. Pre Interstate 84, the Highway from Tremonten, UT to Burley, ID had a billboard you could see for miles but set at an angle. When you finally got close, the message was, “Boring, isn’t it?”

  6. Those three paragraphs on incorrect use of words caused me physical pain. Apparently I’m an acyrologiaphobia sufferer.

    Thank you for the assistance in self-diagnosis. Where do I get the forms to apply for disability?

    Perhaps the Americans with Disabilities Act can someday be amended to protect sufferers such as myself – making it illegal to inflict such grammatical crimes upon humanity.

  7. When someone doesn’t put the important part of the article at the beginning, is it:

    Bury the lead

    or is it:

    Bury the lede?

    I saw the second recently, and I don’t know if it’s typo, or just precision.

    Eschew obfuscation, y’all!

    • It’s Bury the lede. You don’t want to bury lead because you might need it to make bullets.

  8. Hahaha!
    I’m going to go curl up in the feeble position now…

  9. Did you get that from AoSHQ? Saw this earlier and just now dropped by AoSHQ for the Saturday Night Joke. Then I saw in the Sunday Morning Book thread the above.

  10. ONFO: My gawd, that grammatical monstrosity needs a trigger warning! “irregardless” made my teeth hurt.
    Told somebody younger than me about Burma Shave signs. They had no idea what I was talking about. How did I get so old?