Tired of posting negative stuff this week, so you get humor…
Rules of the Modern World
If at first you don’t succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried. Seen that one done… sigh
A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it. Assuming you survive the mistakes…
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
He who hesitates is probably right. But he’s always late
Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.
No one is listening until you make a mistake. And then they make sure EVERYBODY knows…
Success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. BTDT!
The colder the X-ray table, the more of your body is required to press on it. And the more x-rays they need…
The hardness of the butter is proportional to the softness of the bread. Always!!!
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research. Depends on whether or not the cites are correct…
To succeed in politics, it is often necessary to rise above your principles. And be narcissistic as hell!!!
Two wrongs are only the beginning. Snerk
Work is accomplished by those employees who are still striving to reach their level of incompetence. Or the ones that actually care…
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive. (The corollary is: You never learn to pray until your kids learn to drive!) Or go in the military… Especially the Navy!
The problem with the gene pool is that there is no lifeguard. And Darwin doesn’t always win, either!
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life. Or 2/7ths, or 3/7ths, depending on how your week is or isn’t going…
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you’ll have to catch up. (Project Management at its best). Or you’re told day 1 you’re already 90 days behind… BTDT one too!
Re: “Or you’re told day 1 you’re already 90 days behind… BTDT one too!”
Yeah, I’ve been asked to develop a schedule for a project due on Date X. With optimal use of resources, in order to meet Date X, we needed to start six months ago.
Also saw a “schedule” that had my team testing equipment two months before construction was scheduled to start installing it. Bossman couldn’t figure out why I laughed out loud when I saw it.
I was running a project for Kaiser Permenente and when I worked up the schedule based on KNOW time for each of the jobs (assuming no serious bugs, last minute changes, etc) and the timeline I came up with was about four MONTHS past the deadline.
Oh, they were not pleased.
So they made me CHANGE everything, so it would still make the deadline – on paper.
I wanted to raise the issue to corporate – we’re talking about something that effected 90 percent of their business.
My boss was ‘nope’, just keep massaging the numbers until upper management is happy. Or they’ll fire you.
I’d quit before the big lie was discovered. I still wonder who they pinned it on. Probably me as I wasn’t there to defend myself.
At $WeBuildScales there was once a Grand New Project and it was months into actual development, and serious progress was being done. This was when Mr. Big (an ADVERTISING guy in his previous undead “life”…) called The Meeting. Everyone involved, save perhaps whoever swept the factory floor, was there. Engineers, Techs, Software, Hardware, sheet-metal worker for the case, etc. And after Much Discussion, everyone concluded that the first ship date that had ANY chance of success was the 1st of November. Naturally, Mr. ADVERTISING guy was sure he was being bamboozled and declared, “We ship August First.”
And, by, golly, shipping started on the 1st of August. And [NS] there was nothing but trouble and complaints… until November. Gee, whoda thunk?
You learned how to drive in a corolla? that’s an easy car to drive.
chuckling
yes, I know they were manufactured in the mid 60’s 🙂
Hey Old NFO;
I recognize some of those…LOL
All- I see ‘most’ of us have experienced the ‘schedule’ issue… sigh… Grog- I learned to drive in a 53 Dodge Power Wagon down on the farm. And yes, it WOULD climb a tree (as I ‘demonstrated’ one day when I couldn’t get the wheel turned fast enough).
“It’s probably possible to gain humility by means other than repeated humiliation, but repeated humiliation works very well.”
Mark Vonnegut, MD, from “Just Like Someone Without Mental Illness Only More So: A Memoir”
One of my aviation mentors gave me a notecard with the words: Learn from the mistakes of others – You won’t live long enough to make all of them yourself.
He was right. I found ways to make my own mistakes!
A purchasing manger once said in a staff meeting, “Most companies now buy just in time. We buy almost in time”.
Pat- That it does…
TXRed- Oh hell yes!!!
WSF- Ouch…
“My boss was ‘nope’, ”
I learned early on to get it in writing. After a conversation with anyone I send an email “confirming” the discussion we had and asking them to respond if they see anything I missed or misinterpreted. Sometimes it makes people back down when they see it in writing.