This one came over the transom from the Mil e-mail string…
Hillbilly Wisdom.
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks, bankers, and politicians at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered, not yelled.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
If you don’t take the time to do it right, you’ll find the time to do it twice.
Don’t corner something that is meaner than you.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
Don’t be banging your shin on a stool that’s not in the way.
Borrowing trouble from the future doesn’t deplete the supply.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Silence is sometimes the best answer.
Don‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t botherin’ you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and most of that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around.
Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.
Just because it’s old wisdom, doesn’t mean it doesn’t apply today…
Y’all have a great weekend!
Skunks just want to be left alone. Politicians want their hands in your wallet.
Old Scottish proverb:
Life is short, eat dessert first.
My skunk story… NTINS! This really happened.
About ten years ago, my family and another went tent camping for the weekend at a state park in southern Ohio. On the evening of our first day a group of loud and obnoxious partiers moved into one of the campsites nearby. I hate those kinds of people, because they care nothing about others. After all, we go camping to get away from the noise and stress. Well, those people brought loud music and loud partying into the woods. The park rangers even had to go over there a couple of times to try and tone it down. But it was to no avail. As soon as the rangers left they dialed it back up. We decided that we were probably going to have to cut our outing short because of those assholes. However, succor came in an unexpected way.
It was late. The kids were in their tents asleep and us adults were all sitting in lawn chairs around the fire-pit shooting the bull, drinking a few beers, and wondering if the party would eventually wind down and the idiots go to bed.
Suddenly, my friend called out: “CAT!” “POLECAT!”
And there, sauntering into the middle of our campsite, strode a skunk about the size of a large house cat.
I called out: “Don’t anyone move! Don’t do anything sudden and we’ll be okay!”
We all sat there quietly while mister skunk explored. My can of beer was sitting on the ground right next to my chair. Mister skunk walked right up and sniffed at it. Then he looked straight up at me as though to ask: “You got an extra one of those, mate?”. He walked around a little more. He checked out the cooler, then the fire-pit and even walked over to the entrance to one of the tents. (Luckily, the door was zipped shut.) Then, I guess he got bored and walked off into the woods. After his departure, we all laughed a bit, but mostly we breathed a sigh of relief. Ah, but things didn’t end there.
A few minutes later there was a loud shout from over by Camp Idiot. I heard a male voice cry out, and then a chair being thrown! And suddenly – Fire in the hole! – followed by complete pandemonium!
Even though we were thankfully upwind of camp idiot, we still got a slight whiff of eau-de-skunk. Yep, they had done it. And mister skunk did what nobody else up to that point had been able to do. He shut down that party and cleared them all out! I’ve never seen a group decamp as fast as those idiots did. And just a short while later, the very slight eau-de-skunk had dissipated, and and for the rest of our time there we enjoyed blessed peace and quiet. (Camp Idiot remained unoccupied for obvious reasons.)
Mister skunk never returned, but all of us agreed that if he came back, we were going to offer him a beer.
Good advice again Old NFO, so good I stole it with credit to you over at Bustednuckles.com. I like your homespun outlook on life and life in general. I know the trouble that Roy above spoke of. Cleaning out a barn on my farm I disturbed two skunks that had made a home behind some old pallets at the back of the barn. Moving the pallets I got squirted by the two skunks point blank range at my chest… I slept in that said barn for two weeks until multiple hosing down with Dawn dish washing soap, tomato juice and hard scrubbing. Even my Queensland Heeler wouldn’t have anything to do with me.
C90- True!
NRW- Yep, certain folks do that every Saturday!
Roy- LOL, LOVE it!!!
Cedreq- Feel free! And ouch… Hopefully it was at least warm weather! And the dog was smart…LOL
Don’t squat with your spurs on.
I like skunks – at a safe distance.
Back in 1948 my parents (future parents, actually) were out horseback riding. Mom saw a family little kitty-cats on the prowl, and called attention to it.
“Now let’s turn around and stay real quiet,” Dad said, suiting action to words.
“Why?”
“Those aren’t cats. Those are skunks.”
They didn’t get sprayed.
I have a skunk story told to me by one of my Dad’s Air Traffic Controller buddies…So it might even be true!
His family had a pet skunk (deodorized version) and was quite fond of the critter…until one day it got out. The whole family searched the neighborhood all day and just about night time Dear old Dad found the skunk wondering down a street a couple of blocks away.
So he went and picked up the run away…
And it was at that moment he realized that it was NOT the family pet.
He said he threw it as far as he could…
But it wasn’t far enough.
MSG Grumpy
Skunks: Can recall a number of times as a boy in the 1960s that we would bathe the family dog with a can of tomato juice after he got nailed.
Fences: If it’ll hold water, it may possibly hold a goat.
Old Sayings: A Russian man married into our family. He had escaped the Bolshevik Revolution of 1917 by hiding in a hay wagon with his brother, who was later killed when the wagon was searched at the Czech border. (A pitchfork tine pierced his throat and he died silently, or they both would have been discovered.) To him, every day he lived after that day was a gratuitous gift. He had a frosty, nihilistic sense of humor and passed away in the 1970s.
One of his sayings was: “Never let your doctor become your heir.”
Another had a weird rhyming pattern in Russian and loosely translated meant “[If your enemy offers you a bed,]** piss on the mattress and sleep on the floor.” (**This part was not spoken, it was somehow known or implied.)
“Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.”
Unless they won’t let you.
All- Good ones, thanks!
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