Another one from the mil Email string…
No lies detected…
THINGS YOU NEED TO KNOW IF YOU MOVE TO THE SOUTH
1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.
2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in the South.
3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live in the South, plus a couple no one’s seen before.
4. If it grows, it’ll stick ya. If it crawls, it’ll bite cha.
5. Onced and Twiced are words.
6. It is not a shopping cart, it is a buggy!
7. Jawl-P? means: Did you all go to the bathroom?
8. People actually grow, eat, and like okra.
9. Fixinto is one word. It means I’m going to do something.
10. There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there’s supper.
11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you’re two. We do like a little tea with our sugar. It is referred to as the Wine of the South.
12. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.
13. The word ‘jeetchet’ is actually a question meaning, ‘Did you eat yet?’
14. You don’t have to wear a watch, because it doesn’t matter what time it is, you work until you’re done or it’s too dark to see.
15. You don’t PUSH buttons, you MASH em.
16. Y’all is singular. All Y’all is plural.
17. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect, or animal. 18. You carry jumper cables in your car for your OWN car.
19. You only own five spices: salt, pepper, mustard, Tabasco, and ketchup.
20. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local high school sports, motorsports, and gossip.
21. Everyone you meet is a Honey, Sugar, Miss (first name), or Mr (first name)
22. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.
23. You know what a hissy fit is.
24. Fried catfish is the other white meat.
25. We don’t need no dang Driver’s Ed. If our mama says we can drive, we can drive!!!
26. You understand these jokes and forward them to your Southern friends and those who just wish they were from the SOUTH.
AND one more:
27. Why did the chicken cross the road? To show that stupid possum that it CAN be done!
I’m a Westerner, but having spent time in the South I get these.
“Ahrite” (meaning I agree with you) is another familiar term. Important note: The okra has to be fried. We went through driver’s ed at age 15. For us farm boys, we had been driving everything that moved since we were about half that age. If you can screw a 24′ combine header through a 12′ gate, parallel parking an Impala isn’t a problem.
The Buggy one is the one that still surprises me every time I hear it.
#16 is wrong. ‘Ya’ or ‘You’ is singular, ‘Y’all’ is small plural, like 2-5. ‘All Y’all’ is over 5 to infinity.
Ya want some tea?
Y’all set a spell.
I’ma fixin to wup all y’all’s butts if all y’all don’t settle down (this can mean a room full of kids, a battlefield full of enemies or the Universe itself.)(Seriously, imagine if Luke Skywalker was Southern and he’s flying at the Death Star, what would he say? And his X-wing would probably be rolling coal as he did it.)
Agree to all, except y’all can also apply to just one person. Sort of like in other languages where you use the plural for just one person as a sign of respect.
Y’all means “you all”, as in “all of you”. “y’all” is never singular.
Every time a meme with this comes out, Southerners have to correct Yankees. If your grandmaother heard you call a single person “y’all”, she’d switch you for aweek.
“You” was originally the formal second person plural pronoun. “Ye” was the singular, but this was already archaic when King James commissioned a translation of the Bible. They turned “you” into the singular. (The same thing happened in German with “Sie”.)
Eventually some people realized they needed a plural. So Southerners invented “Y’all”. But that’s been subject to the same process that turned “you” into a singular. Often it’s used for several people, but they’ll say, “Y’all come back now” to a single dinner guest. So when a Southerner wants to make _sure_ you understand he’s referring to everyone, it’s “All y’all.”
Played in the great big ol’ coal pile at my family’s store in my childhood. Got ’em all. Great list!
And, “Bless your heart!” doesn’t mean what it sounds like!
No, no, it doesn’t. Neither does “nice.” As in, “I’m sure she’s a nice girl,” said in a certain slightly disapproving tone. Don’t bring her home to Mama twice.
All- LOL thanks for the comments!
Had my first glass of real sweet tea in a coon’s age. The kind best savored as it slowly melts the ice.
Iced tea comes 3 ways; unsweetened, sweetened, and Georgia Sweet.
Ha!
As someone who grew up on a farm in northern Michigan, I can assure you that #14 (work until done or can’t see) and #22 (deer season is a holiday) aren’t Southern, they’re country.
As for #1: I worked in northern Virginia for a defense contractor for a couple of years. I thought the flat possum must be the Virginia state animal. It’s not something you see often in Michigan, but a white tail deer will commit suicide to wreck your car!