A little humor…

Posted on by October 24, 2023

An oldie but a goody!!!

23 ADULT TRUTHS

1 Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I’m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind-of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren’t going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don’t want to have to restart my collection…again.

13. I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.

17. I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey – but I’d bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

23. The first testicular guard, the “Cup,” was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Comments

A little humor… — 16 Comments

  1. Yeah, a lot of those are gallows humor. A lot of them apply to me

    #9 particularly resonates, I am often ‘Dead Tired’ and no longer have the need to keep it to myself. “Meet you at the car” is my key phrase when I’m done pasture cleaning.

  2. #23 First NHL hockey helmet was used in 1928. Canadians just have harder heads than most people.

    BTW Canadian bacon is just ham. Take that CFB Trenton!

  4. #6. Our founding documents are written in cursive. Yeah, it will always be important.

    • And yes, at my age my cursive sucks. I purely despise those little electronic signature pads where you use your finger. I have given up. My “signature” in that case looks more like something from a seismograph.

      • It won’t help the signature look any better, but it might be therapeutic to use your middle finger to sign?

  5. Cursive. I used to have great cursive writing. Skill inherited from my grandad who used to volunteer to write student names for their HS diplomas.
    Currently, my cursive motor skills are shot. Too many years of not practicing.
    There was a reason why engineering drawings did not use cursive and I always wondered why medicine did not force doctors to learn/train to write using block.
    Likewise RHT447. I finally started using a stylized version of my initials.

  7. Cursive – the new secret code, unreadable by most under age 35.

    Pants – Oh yes, pants get dirty. Digging holes, then planting bulbs. Digging on an archaeological site. Discovering that one loose rock you always suspected was out to get you and confirming that yup, it and the trail hate you.

  8. #19:
    3x max.
    For a while, I tried asking them to repeat it, but to say it differently. Most people lock up at that, or just repeat themselves, but louder.

  9. #13: 99 times out of 100 it’s because you deleted that extra space character without really thinking about it. The 100th time it’s because someone typed “bollocks” while you were away from your desk for a moment.
    (true story)

  13. For fitted sheets I go back to basic training (1963). ROLL IT like socks and underwear!