Feel for the parents out today hunting more batteries for the kid’s toys…
The Day After Christmas
Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house,
Every creature was hurtin’ even the mouse.
The toys were all broken, their batteries dead;
Santa passed out, with some ice on his head.
Wrapping and ribbons just covered the floor,
While upstairs the family continued to snore.
And I in my T-shirt, new Reeboks and jeans,
I went into the kitchen and started to clean.
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the sink to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the curtains, and threw up the sash.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a little white truck, with an oversized mirror.
The driver was smiling, so lively and grand;
The patch on his jacket said “U.S. POSTMAN.”
With a handful of bills, he grinned like a fox.
Then quickly he stuffed them into our mailbox.
Bill after bill, after bill, they still came.
Whistling and shouting he called them by name:
“Now Dillard’s, now Broadway’s, now Penny’s and Sears
Here’s Robinson’s, Levitz’s and Target’s and Mervyn’s.
To the tip or your limit, every store, every mall,
Now chargeaway–chargeaway–chargeaway all!”
He whooped and he whistled as he finished his work.
He filled up the box, and then turned with a jerk.
He sprang to his truck and he drove down the road,
Driving much faster with just half a load.
Then I heard him exclaim with great holiday cheer,
“ENJOY WHAT YOU BOUGHT…….
YOU’LL BE PAYING ALL YEAR!”
Lol, well done. And not far off the mark either – I have a few coworkers whose sole payment method are credit / debit cards.
Who was it who decided ‘property tax season’ is riiiight after Christmas ? I want to speak to the Supervisor !!
In Oregon, property taxes are due around Election day. It still doesn’t help, though we’ve had vote-fraud by mail for decades.
It is Boxing Day, which I am sure will at some point inspire my infant daughter to go rolling and scooting herself into a box.
All your box are belong to cats.
My wife assures me that the four foot table top tree I purchased to replace the ancient 7′ one that was falling apart is less than satisfactory. It seems it can’t hold all the ornaments she wanted to hang. (A lot; a couple lifetimes worth of ornaments are in those totes. Sigh.)
So, today’s market trip includes a search for a Boxing day sale on artificial trees. (The old one was also a post-Christmas purchase, for 25% of the original list price.) We’ll see what Home Desperate has left.
If I succeed, we’ll see just how an inquisitive border collie treats the ornaments next year.
RedQuarters had the tree, minus ornaments. Jase T. Cat is a little too frisky for his and the ornaments’ own good.
If you have an Ikea near you, they have some decent artificial trees.
When I was a kid, our Peke decided that under the tree made an acceptable alternate den to his usual under sofa space. The first time he went under the tree he came out decorated in tinsel leaving fallen ornaments in his wake. We learned to leave the lower two or three branches undecorated.
It seems that HD and the others were really conservative for inventory. Depot had one tree left, and with te 50% discount was still $150, a third above our agreed max.
We’re going to a plan B for the excess ornaments next year; decorative cordage near the wall-ceiling juncture and ornaments hung there.
Kat-the-dog has been respectful of the strange tree-like thing on the table. So far, so good.
We’re in the flyover counties east of the Oregon Cascades. Ikeas are in another country, as it were. (Tried Michaels; they were sold out. Walmart gets me twitchy.)
jrg/TOS- Oh I know… sigh TOS, I hope she doesn’t go to sleep in one…LOL
Ag- True!
RC- Snort… my little 1 foot tall tree is IT!
TXRed- Understood!
RCPete: We switched to a 7-ft wrought iron tree ten years ago. 25 branches, room for lots of ornaments, and we use clip-on battery candles for lights. Add some white garland and it looks very nice, and the cats don’t try to climb it. Goes together in ten minutes and stores away in a small toter.
Interesting. Have to check that out.
With all this Christmas Ho Ho Ho-ing, you should see how much I’m owing!
The Broadway, Robinson’s, Levitz and Mervyn’s are long gone. Sears is all but gone. Still, the spirit of indebtedness remains.