Maybe???
The “Americans With No Abilities Act” (ANAA)
The Senate is considering a sweeping legislative Bill sponsored by the Democratic Party that will provide new benefits for many more Americans. The Americans with No Abilities Act is being hailed as a major legislative goal by advocates of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills and ambition.
“Roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society,” said New York Senator, Chuck Schumer. “We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (POI) to be ridiculed and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to a small group of workers, simply because they have some idea of what they are doing.”
In a Capitol Hill press conference Nancy Pelosi pointed to the success of the U.S. Postal Service, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity without regard to performance. At the state government level, the Department of Motor Vehicles also has an excellent record of hiring Persons with No Ability (63%).
Under the Americans with No Abilities Act, more than 25 million mid-level positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance.
Mandatory non-performance-based raises and promotions will be given to guarantee upward mobility for even the most unremarkable employees. The legislation provides substantial tax breaks to corporations that promote a significant number of Persons of Inability (POI) into middle-management positions and give a tax credit to small and medium-sized businesses that agree to hire one clueless worker for every two talented hires.
Finally, the Americans with No Abilities Act contains tough new measures to make it more difficult to discriminate against the non-abled, banning, for example, discriminatory hiring interview questions such as, “Do you have any skills or experience that relate to this job?”
“As a non-abled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Mary Lou Gertz, who lost her position as a lug-nut twister at the GM plant in Flint , Mich., due to her inability to remember “righty tighty, lefty loosey”. “This new law should be real good for people like me. I’ll finally have job security.” With the passage of this bill, Gertz and millions of other untalented citizens will finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Said Illinois Senator Dick Durbin: “As a senator with no abilities, I believe the same privileges that elected officials enjoy ought to be extended to every American with no abilities. It is our duty as lawmakers to provide each and every American citizen, regardless of his or her inadequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation and a good salary for doing so.”
Ya know, I wouldn’t put it past the dems to try something like this to pander to their base…
h/t Guy
Sounds like the proverbial “camel’s nose in the tent” for an attempt to implement the UBI (Universal Basic Income.) The Cloward-Piven strategy against a well functioning and healthy economy continues.
If it is put out by the Dems I would not trust it. We have many laws now I think the only thing we need is to clean them up.
Some corporations, anticipating legislation, have already put this into action. Republicans, not to be outdone will add an amendment to codify the “Peter Principle” into law, so that even people with some ability will be promoted above their competence level. The movie “Idiocracy” will now be used as a training film.
Dear God I hope it’s a joke! But nothing those pandering fools try to do would surprise me. Now I read Biden is going to try and impose term limits and code of conduct legislation on the Supreme Court, which would be blatantly unconstitutional based on my reading of the Constitution.
The entire Dem party is full of no-ability numb brained individuals. I would not be surprised if they would try to sneak this through to the floor of the Senate. The two named Senators in your article are two of the most Brain dead men in the Senate.
I hope this is a joke, but knowing how Dems like to pander for votes… I suspect this is some Chuckie is really trying to implement.
No offense , I served with some , quite a few , I’m laughing my ass off thinking about it . Military creases , shiny boots , not a lick of in rate knowledge . They were great to send to those dumb committees , and meetings nobody wanted to attend but you had to send a body . Menu review boards , meeting with Ombudsmen , safety meetings , mwr shit , organizing orphanage painting in port , ya know all the important shit . Come to think of it , even the worthless had a purpose , if you steered’em into it . Hell a person could do 20 years by being on time in the uniform of the day and not getting in trouble . Being good at your job only got more shit to do thrown at you . If you were a dipshit , you had it made , you’d never get tasked with anything important , for fear you’d fuck it up . Hey…..wait a minute…maybe they were faking it….damn !
Please! Don’t give them ideas.
It’s a joke, satire.
That used to be easy to spot when the world was sane. I miss those days.
You will see a lot of regulations, potential laws and other bullscat being thrown against the wall to stick over the next 6 months or so. Expect it to last to the minute when Trump is sworn in.
Betcha one of the biggest will be huge changes to make it harder to get rid of federal employees and even appointed positions. And then federal mail-in ballot expansions.
All- I truly HOPE it’s a joke. And yes, Boats, we ‘all’ had those folks in the units…sigh… And not just enlisteds either…
They need to change the ‘Act’ to ‘Law’ – so the bill changes from ANAA to ANAL – because that’ll be a better descriptor
Jax, you may have a career in politics. Way to name a bill.
All satire is based on reality. This is no exception.
Is this another prophecy from the Babylon Bee ?
Will they work for Boeing?
Getting to be more and more like C.M. Kornbluth’s “The Marching Morons”. Or “Idiocracy”, take your pick….
All- Thanks, and Jax, you may be on to something…LOL