“We must recognize that, as we grow older, we become like old cars – more and more repairs and replacements are necessary.”- C.S. Lewis

“Old age is like a plane flying through a storm. Once you are aboard there is nothing you can do about it.”- Golda Meir

“I’m so old that my blood type is discontinued.”- Bill Dane

“The older I get, the more clearly I remember things that never happened.- Mark Twain

“Wisdom doesn’t necessarily come with age. Sometimes, age just shows up all by itself.”- Tom Wilson.

“I don’t plan to grow old gracefully. I plan to have face-lifts until my ears meet.”- Rita Rudner

“I’m at that age where my back goes out more than I do.”Phyllis Diller

“First you forget names, then you forget faces, then you forget to pull your zipper up, then you forget to pull your zipper down.”- Leo Rosenberg

“Old people shouldn’t eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get”– Robert Orben

“At age 20, we worry about what others think of us… at age 40, we don’t care what they think of us… at age 60, we discover they haven’t been thinking of us at all. – Ann Landers

“When I was young, I was called a rugged individualist. When I was in my fifties, I was considered eccentric. Here I am doing and saying the same things I did then, and I’m labelled senile.”- George Burns

“I complain that the years fly past, but then I look in a mirror and see that very few of them actually got past.”- Robert Brault

“It’s paradoxical that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn’t appeal to anyone.”- Andy Rooney

“Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.”- Larry Lorenzon

“You know you’re getting old when you can pinch an inch on your forehead.”- John Mendoza

“I was thinking about how people seem to read the bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me—they’re cramming for their final exam.”- George Carlin

“I don’t feel old. I don’t feel anything until noon. Then it’s time for my nap.”- Bob Hope

“I don’t do alcohol anymore—I get the same effect just standing up fast.”– Anonymous

“Getting older. I used to be able to run a 4-minute mile, bench press 380 pounds, and tell the truth – Conan O’Brien

“I have reached an age when, if someone tells me to wear socks, I don’t have to”- Albert Einstein

“Grandchildren don’t make a man feel old, it’s the knowledge that he’s married to a grandmother that does.”- J. Norman Collie

“You know you are getting old when everything hurts, and what doesn’t hurt doesn’t work.”- Hy Gardner

“When your friends begin to flatter you on how young you look, it’s a sure sign you’re getting old.”- Mark Twain

“There’s one advantage to being 102, there’s no peer pressure.”- Dennis Wolfberg

“The idea is to die young as late as possible.”- Ashley Montagu

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”- George Burns