To start the week…

Starting with the Christmas jokes…

Hopefully the LAST time we get this PC Holiday Greeting-

“Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, our best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all.

We also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the generally accepted calendar year 2024, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great.  Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than any other country nor the only America in the Western Hemisphere and without regard to the race, creed or color.

By accepting these greetings you are accepting these terms. This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the original greeting.  It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself or himself or others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the wisher.

This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.”

Wishing you a happy whatever.

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CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

   3. Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

   4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

   5. Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets
   and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees
   and…..

   6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

   7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open
   Fire

   8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’ Gonna
   Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

   9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at
   the Froggy – can I have a chocolate, why are the French strange?

   10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
   Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
   Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
   Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
   JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
   Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
   JingleBells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
   Bells,Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,