To start the week…

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers. Suzie Smith stood and walked to the podium.

She said, “I have a praise. Two months ago, my husband, Phil, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn’t know if they could help him.”

You could hear a muffled gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagine the pain that poor Phil must have experienced.

“Phil was unable to hold me or the children,” she went on, “and every move caused him terrible pain.” We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation, and it turned out they were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Phil’s scrotum, and wrap wire around it to hold it in place.”

Again, the men in the congregation cringed and squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Phil. “Now,” she announced in a quivering voice, “thank the Lord, Phil is out of the hospital and the doctors say that with time, his scrotum should recover completely.”

All the men sighed with unified relief. The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had something to say.

A man stood up and walked slowly to the podium. He said, “I’m Phil.”

The entire congregation held its breath.

“I just want to tell my wife the word is sternum.”

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Oldie…

WHY MEN PREFER GUNS OVER WOMEN

#10 – You can trade an old 44 for two new 22s.

#9 – You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you’re on the road.

#8 – If you admire a friend’s gun, tell him so, he will probably let you try it out a few times.

#7 – Your primary gun doesn’t mind if you keep another gun for a backup.

#6 – Your gun will stay with you even if you run out of ammo.

#5 – A gun doesn’t take up a lot of closet space.

#4 – Guns function normally every day of the month.

#3 – A gun doesn’t ask , “Do these new grips make me look fat?”

#2 – A gun doesn’t mind if you go to sleep after you use it.

And the Number One reason
Why Men Prefer Guns over women…..

#1 – You can buy a silencer for a gun.